lets say you got married 1 and a half year back and your marriage is still fresh in people’s mind esp at work and other acquittance. But unfortunately the marriage ended in divorce within a year with a baby due to whatever reasons. Now these business contacts / colleagues likes knowing too much about your husband and baby. Because you are one of the few women around in the particular field people just try to dig too much of personal info. Like how do u manage baby , home & husband with ur job ? does your husband help ? what is he doing these days etc etc ? Now you don’t want them to know that you got divorced not because you are ashamed or anything but just because you don’t want to get free sympathies and don’t want to repeat the story all over again and above all you don’t want to be judged by people . So how would you avoid such a conversation ? esp at weddings/parties etc where you go without your spouse and then people ask “where is your husband ?”.
Re: how to avoid a conversation about your ex
I wouldn't answer most of these questions. Depending on the person, you can either tell up front that it ended in divorce and offer no other information OR just confuse them by not answering anything straight. Seriously, people have no right to dig in your personal life and they deserved to be confused and befuddled. Its fun also sometimes.
Re: how to avoid a conversation about your ex
:hinna:
Re: how to avoid a conversation about your ex
You can politely say , please do not talk about it. It is past me now. I have moved on. It will not hurt any body's feelings and will show them that you are strong enough to have moved on.
Re: how to avoid a conversation about your ex
Now these** business contacts / colleagues** likes knowing too much about your husband and baby. Because you are one of the few women around in the particular field people just try to dig too much of personal info. Like how do u manage baby , home & husband with ur job ? does your husband help ? what is he doing these days etc etc ? .
Diamond, since these are people that you work with, it's unprofessional of them to dig into your personal life. I don't think it's wrong for you to tell them that you're divorced. But if they push the matter further and ask your ex and the reasons and details regarding your divorce, just politely tell them:
"I prefer to keep my personal life and professional life separate."
Or
"I don't feel comfortable discussing details about my personal life in a professional setting." That should get the message across.
When you attend weddings and other funtions and people ask you where your husband is, tell them you're divorced. And if they try to ask details about it, just politely say " I don't feel comfortable discussing a situation I've moved on from. Alhumdolillah my daughter and I are managing well. Thank you for your concern. "
Even changing the subject can help. If you ask the nosy person questions about how their family or job is going, it diverts their attention from you to them.
Re: how to avoid a conversation about your ex
"aap ke husband kahan hotay hain?"
"apne ghar pe. :)"
khatam :)
Re: how to avoid a conversation about your ex
Been there…
I had this one person ask me at every occasion “husband kahan hai tumhara”. I mean, its not right to ask such things especially if you know there is trouble in paradise. He knew but he asked just to make a point. Anyway, I never explained myself and never will. I was happy and thats all that mattered to me. All I said was “vo nahin aye” or “unko kaam tha” or “vo job pe hein” or something else. There are a lot of women whose husbands dont go places with them.
I am at a party, enjoying myself…the last thing I want to do is sit down and tell people my sordid tale. So, they will find out when they find out…Im not required to share. Qissa khatam.
Re: how to avoid a conversation about your ex
Thats terrible… 
I would stare them all down with a cold face and look of such malevolent intesity they would wish they could crawl back to whatever nameless cesspit they came from…:faris:
But alas best thing to do when your up to your neck in things is just keep quite, or tell them frankly that it’s not thier business and that your husband is busy with his own problems. They wont persist after that.
Re: how to avoid a conversation about your ex
Tell 'em you'll give them eleventy million dollars if they shut up.
Re: how to avoid a conversation about your ex
If its really disturbing you change your job.
Otherwise ignore them and do as Reha said:)
Re: how to avoid a conversation about your ex
@ chameli I can't change my job as it's not so easy to find a job in Pakistan and I really like my job :)
@ all - yes I try to give replies like "woh ghar pay hain " etc etc but then another question is asked "kiyoon sath ana chahye tha na" or if I say that he is out of city "kahan gaye hain " "ajj kaal apni ammi kay ghar rah rahi hogi " and the most asked question is " do you live with your parents?" . I have seen that one answer does not suffice and another question follows and this cross questioning gets on my nerves.
Thank you all !
Re: how to avoid a conversation about your ex
I don'tt want to hurt you at all but I am just curious why not just say that you have separated and that you dun want to talk more about it. God forbid, if I were in a situation like this, I will not lie to cover him or myself because of course one day or another it will be out there.. why not just end it all at once and give youself peace of mind?
I do understand the questions that will follow at a desi gathering from aunties but I doubt if anyone will have a chain of questions at work!
Re: how to avoid a conversation about your ex
@ chameli I can't change my job as it's not so easy to find a job in Pakistan and I really like my job :)
@ all - yes I try to give replies like "woh ghar pay hain " etc etc but then another question is asked "kiyoon sath ana chahye tha na" or if I say that he is out of city "kahan gaye hain " "ajj kaal apni ammi kay ghar rah rahi hogi " and the most asked question is " do you live with your parents?" . I have seen that one answer does not suffice and another question follows and this cross questioning gets on my nerves.
Thank you all !
Diamond, take a look at the answers that you're giving them. Tum un ko jawab hi aisay de rahi ho k they just don't suffice. If you tell them you're divorced followed by the comment that you're doing fine and that you don't feel comfortable discussing your personal life when it's something you've moved on from, then that is a more direct and strong hint that you're not open to any further questions from them.
The answers that you have been giving them leaves the door open for more questions.
Re: how to avoid a conversation about your ex
I wish it was easy to say "None of ur business!" to people. In a social setting its different, as they may be making conversation or whatever....but in a professional setting, so much nosiness has no place but I think alot of ppl lack that bit of professionalism