This group of around a dozen men including myself, ages ranging between late twenties to early forties, lives in a middle class locality in Karachi. There is a choupal like arrangement in a local shop, owned by one of us. A gathering of sorts takes place there every night where these men talk and chill and do stuff that reasonably shareef Pakistani men do when they are together. These sittings last for an hour, sometimes more. I usually spend my time there listening to others as most of them are wiser and more experienced than me in everything.
Lately, one of the older guys has started bringing his 3 years old son with him regularly. I don’t know how others feel about it as I haven’t asked anyone but personally I find it quite awkward. The kid himself is a darling and not one of those unbearably aafat k parkaalay bacha log. Its not that any of us is indecent or we discuss R rated stuff, but I still feel that not everything said and done in that arrangement is suitable for the eyes and ears of a minor.
The kid’s father is otherwise a reasonable person but as I am not particularly close to him, I can’t think of a way to tell him my concern without offending him. Although I have more than one very good friends there, I don’t want to involve anyone else from the said group for certain reasons.
Thought of seeking advice from you folks in this regard. Have already started feeling grateful for your time and effort.
Re: How to ask a friend to not bring his child in men’s gatherings?
What if you were to say very casually and in passing that “Your kid is so adorable, but poor thing looks bored. Our discussions are too mature for him. I wish he had someone his age to play with here. Are u sure he wouldn’t rather stay at home?” Basically approaching it in a round-about sort of way.
Maybe there’s a reason or circumstance as to why your friend can’t leave his son at home.
Re: How to ask a friend to not bring his child in men’s gatherings?
No offend or disrespect intended Dr. Saheba, but I was his age when my grandfather died and I still remember that day in vivid detail. I knew back then not only what had happened, but also why everyone was behaving the way they were. So can’t agree with walnut analogy for a three years old.
From current affairs to religion to sports and showbiz, we talk about almost everything. There are some smokers among us and some paan/tobacco eaters as well. Some utter abusive words without much purpose or care. It doesn’t feel too bad otherwise, but the presence of a kid -at-least for me- changes the whole scenario.
