What should you do when you are very sincere to your family members such as cousins and chachas and khalu khalas and they also know this but still they just use you for their own interests without giving any value to your sincerity, when they still always answer you with negative and ill mannered behaviour and still start a propaganda inside the family against you without any proof?
What would you do then?
Re: How to answer the ill mannered Family members and relatives?
Mmmmm Soch samadge ke kadam utai ye...... sounds like u need a family conference.......... whatever the matter instilling humour and hasi mazaak may be a good thing......family poilitics- i think we all experience from time to time- failing this - leaving it up to your elders may be the obvious option for them to sort it out ....
Re: How to answer the ill mannered Family members and relatives?
yaar you cannot change some people. there are some bitter people in this world who will never be happy for you or ever acknowledge anything nice you do!
just ignore them and find ways to make your own life blissful.
Well we have such family members, and its easy said to just ignore them,
First we always used to stay polite, parents told us to do so, but people got worse and worse,
cz when you dont take actions, people think you are coward or something like that, :halo:
so now i do what i have to do to deal with them.
so kal ek member ne fone kiya(i wont say familymenmber cz they are not worth to be called that) , and i answered, and he hung up when hearing my voice. i misscalled back, so usne wapis fone kiya tau maine ek gali si di, called him **jerk. **and soon after a minute he called again and again i answered and said jerk again. it felt good 
And no, i dont think i did anything rude, eventhough he was cousin of my parents, cz ek hadh hoti hai, and those people have crossed that limit ages ago… 
stupid stupid stupid people… it is that i have to stay polite warna banned hojane ka darr hai,
lekin stupid is way too nice to describe them 
yes ur right bulkay ajkal tu rishte daaron se tu gher hi theek hn
What should you do when you are very sincere to your family members such as cousins and chachas and khalu khalas and they also know this but still they just use you for their own interests without giving any value to your sincerity, when they still always answer you with negative and ill mannered behaviour and still start a propaganda inside the family against you without any proof?
What would you do then?
:(
I can understand that relatives can speak disrespectfully at times....but to start propaganda against you within the family is just plain manipulative and EVIL!
It's hard to trust people (family or non-family) because we don't know what their true intentions or feelings about us are. One thing that I like to do and that I would advise you to do is to recite the 3 Qul Surahs and Ayatul Kursi for protection against those who are jealous and harbor ill-will toward you.
When you come into contact with them, be polite. Say the salam and ask them how they are doing and if they need "reasonable" help from you.....help them. In other words, "kill them with kindess." Who knows, maybe one day they will wake up and see how polite you are with them. So be polite.........BUT try to stay away from them as much as possible. Avoid being around them when it is possible for you.
Re: How to answer the ill mannered Family members and relatives?
the family that treat's u as a "THING" and not a person
isnt family
simple as that
What should you do when you are very sincere to your family members such as cousins and chachas and khalu khalas and they also know this but still they just use you for their own interests without giving any value to your sincerity, when they still always answer you with negative and ill mannered behaviour and still start a propaganda inside the family against you without any proof?
What would you do then?
:(
Answer below:
Take them out.
Re: How to answer the ill mannered Family members and relatives?
I would stay away. Far far away from them. Answering them doesn't really help, because some can be extremely besharam (i.e your words have NOOO effect on them whatsoever and your basically banging your head against a brick wall) and being nice to them is just wayyyy too painful.. so I just stay away and ignore the fact that they, unfortunately exist.
Re: How to answer the ill mannered Family members and relatives?
I have an extremely difficult situation with my mom. She can be SUCH a mean ole thang lol. Best thing to do is just give extra love and attention and ignore the nastiness as it just seems to happen to some of us when we get older. Sure, its very hard to endure but heck, you cant really take offense because everyone sees it for what it really is and knows that the slurs arent always based in reality. The more patience and love you give to those who need it most, the better your chances are to have the same returned to you when you get to be old and nasty!
Exactly.
PPL keep bothering you until you thonk killa in his/her head. lol Like Bhindi.
What should you do when you are very sincere to your family members such as cousins and chachas and khalu khalas and they also know this but still they just use you for their own interests without giving any value to your sincerity, when they still always answer you with negative and ill mannered behaviour and still start a propaganda inside the family against you without any proof?
What would you do then?
:(
i'll stop being too good n keep some distance.also every once n while i'll giv them a tarara sa jawab.
Re: How to answer the ill mannered Family members and relatives?
Sometimes or most of the time or with some ppl for whole life relatives do things to hurt them and budnaam them and we can't do anything sometimes don't know what they are doing behind you. I've been victim to those ppl but when you are gr8 like gr8 Heera then Allah helps you no matter what ppl do.
Don't worry always say "innallaha maas sabereen". Allah will always help you.
No matter what ppl do and how hard they work to budnaam you if you didn't do those things then Allah help you always. Just keep praying to Allah to help you and leave everything in his hand. Aur phir Allah ki chamatkaar daikho.
Re: How to answer the ill mannered Family members and relatives?
^ yaar zabardast!
gr8 like gr8 Heera
^ yaar zabardast!
gr8 like gr8 Heera
LOL do you know the meaning of Yaar lol.
Alhamdolillah. Thanks chahay such kaha ya meray alfaaz duhraay ya mazaak uraya.
^ yaar zabardast!
gr8 like gr8 Heera
agreed
:)
Re: How to answer the ill mannered Family members and relatives?
I still say take them out, the lot of them...
I still say take them out, the lot of them...
yes i know, such ppl deserve the same
to talk in their own language in which they understand is the best option i think in this era.
:(
Re: How to answer the ill mannered Family members and relatives?
Unfortunately I have alot of people like that on my mom's side. I do my best by staying away from them and keeping my distance. Salaam/w'salam is the furthest I will go with people who wish bad for me.
However, I was told recently that Islamically it is a huge sin if you don't keep relations with your family members. So I guess to each their own.
yes i know, such ppl deserve the same
to talk in their own language in which they understand is the best option i think in this era.
:(
I agree with you kuptaan sahab but when you do in the same language they can stop a little or reduce but again they will keep doing it. Nothing can stop that. You'll use same language for one matter they might stop or reudce but then again they will do another thing. Another new thing and then you have to go to their level again and then they will do something new.
I mean it's a chain reaction it's not because of you or something good or bad you did. It's because of their jealousy. And jealousy remains same it doesn't reduce from anything. Even if you would be so good for them but their jealousy won't go away. They will keep doing it for their whole life until they die but if they are lucky enough Allah will give them hidayat. But Mostly jealousy is the thing it never dies that's why quran main hasid logon say panah mangnay kaha gia hai akhri 2 surat main say kisi aik main.
Conclusion is:
It's not because you are good or bad (no one can't be perfect). It's because they are jealous of you. Jealousy is a bemari that never fades away even after so many Years.
So bahtar hai kay sahi karnay kay chukkaron main khud ko gunahgar kar lain jo kar naheen saktay meray khiaal main Allah par chor dain us say bahtar koi maamlay ko sanbhalnay wala naheen hota. Allah bhi aap say khush hota hai aap kay sabr pay. Waisay thora bohat jawab denay main koi muzaiqa naheen laikin aap kay thoray say jawab ko phir afsana bana dia jata hai.
I can give you many true examples from my life that shows how Allah help you when you are innocent and remain quite no badla at all.
But I'm not in mood of afsana chaaping.