ure right to not say something mean to your MIL because that will not make the situation worse and give her more stories to tell your husband against you. Maybe you could nicely say something like i understand ami that people are asking you when ill be back but we need to think of your grand daughters health 1st, God forbid she get worse.
As for your husband talk to him too, dont complain rather say something like your MIL is worried maybe you can talk to her so she feels better, this way youre asking for help yet at the same time sounding like youre worried about your MIL.
Also make him want to talk to your daughter himself, i dont know if he talks to her or not, if he doesnt gently remind him with a sentence every time you talk that your daughter misses you or she was asking about you. you wont sound pushy and hopefully hell make time for your daughter atleast if he doesnt now.
Its a hard situation to be in just pray to Allah for your daughters health, that your husband want to spend more time with you and his daughters and that your MIL does not put others before you and her grand daughters
Hi Boredom, I will pray for you IA everything will work out for u, ur family and daughter.
It's an aazmaish and like i said to some1 before "jub azmaish ati hia to ALLAH (SWT) saath hee strength bhi detay hain us azmaish say go thru kernay ki"
Before u know it it'll all work out for you. Another frined of mine said to me just a few days ago (i'm goin thru some pain myself) "kabhi bhi nashukri na kerna, shukar ada kerna k yeh ho raha hai s main koi behtri ho gi" (it applied to me more in my situation)
So just try to be strong and IA ALLAH Pak sub dekh rahay hain. Only what's best for you will happen. Don't lose hope and be strong :)
U can oly pray for ur MIL to get some hidayat and u can't change her at this age. But i'd say do share ur probs with ur husband (dotn tel him wat ur MIL does or says ) just share wat u r doin in germany , y u prolong ur visit (if u do) ,share ur docs visits, share ur daughter's reactions to medicine, etc with him so he starts getting a clear picture and wud start showing his emotiosn better to u.
All DUAS to u n to ur family, IA sub theek ho ga. AMEEN SUMMA AMEEN.
Based on your response to my post, it seems that your husband does care abot his family, but he's too busy to spend time with you. Either way, you still need to talk to him. Tell him that you miss spending time with him. Open up to him and express your concerns. Perhaps he'll make more effort to spend time with you and the kids.
One thing that I and I think several people are wondering is have you told your husband about his mom? I know that your mother-in-law is giving you threats k auraton ki baatein mardon se nahin karni chahiye. But boredom, she is saying that because I think she wants to CONTROL you. Who knows? Maybe she is afraid that you will tell your husband about her behavior and that he'll get mad at her. Is tarha se to woh tumhay control kar rahi hai. Aur woh is baat ka faida utha rahi hai....k woh tumharay saath jo marzi salook karay aur tum kisi ko nahin batao gi.
Tell us one thing, Boredom. Is your mother-in-law afraid of your husband's reaction? OR is your husband afraid of his mom? Is he the kind of husband who is going to BLINDLY support his amma....or is he open-minded and fair? I know he doesn't spend much time with you because he's so busy. *But is your husband understanding enough to listen to you and support you? Tell us about that. * Because I feel that it might ease your worries a little bit if you can talk to your hubby about it.
Right now, you are bravely taking the higher road and tolerating your mother-in-law. And for your sake and for the sake of your kids, I hope your mother-in-law changes for the better soon. But I'm afraid that if things don't change...how long will you tolerate this? Boredom, as a mother of 2 daughters you need energy to raise your kids. Not only energy, but you need a positive frame of mind **to raise children. And your mother-in-law is **ROBBING you of the peace of mind that you need to be an effective wife and mother. Your daughters deserve a mom who is happy and your mother-in-law is robbing your daughters of even that joy. That's what pisses me off......that not only is she hurting you, she's hurting ur marriage, and your kids.
The woman is cruel. She's treating you badly and oopar se she's so chalaak that she's giving you threats about keeping your mouth shut about "auraton ki problems.
If u were to talk to ur husband and get him involved as several people have suggested....would he even listen or support u? I know I'm curious about that. I wish you the best and I will make dua for you and daughters.
The best solution is what CHOTI JAN has proposed, assume silence, one thing you must remember, she is there to stay, and you and your daughter will stay there as well, so it is up to you to create an environment where your husband can feel relaxed after his busy day at office.
If your MIL has some problems then, let it be, don't ever talk back, don't listen to anyone suggesting you to take a stand, you want to worry about ur daughter and your husband. Forget everything else, fighting/talking back/ taunts is not a solution for this problem, treat her with a strategy so that she can feel and share the pain you are going through.
i am unable to chalk out that why these MIL'S hang above us and why do they even have a license to bother us by their silly talks? when they had lived their lives in the ways they did without being answerable to any1 then why don't they release their sons for independent lives. i mean wen girls leave their parents forever why not the sons? if they want to have their mothers with them then they should arrange some sort of seperate part in the house. wives should NOT BE MADE TO RESPECT BY FORCE. it is upto them. MIL'S can take advantage of raising up their sons or being old. every mother does the same whether it b sons or daughters. after all mothers are made up for this. I TOO AM A MOTHER AND HAVE THOUGHT OF NEVER INTERFERING INTO HIS LIFE IN FUTURE. LIVE AND LET OTHERS LIVE.
sister.. your story looks not too deffrent then mine..... all problems could be solved only if you could talk to your husband about how do you feel about all this going on around you. but the thing is .. is he ready to listen??? and will he be able to understand ??? and will he be willing to solve the issues??? even if he can not talk to his mother at least he could listen and comfort you.letting you know that he is there ..and he cares....
Array itni choti si baat pay aap ka dil chota hota hai aur rota hai. Bhaar main dalain logon ko.
Suna naheen gana.
Jiska koi naheen uska to khuda hai yaro.
Main naheen kahta kitabon main likha hai yaron.
Hum sub GS pay itnay saray hain na aap kay liaay. Dua bhi karain gay aap ki buchchi kay liaay bhi aur aap kay liaay bhi.
Allah aap donon ko sayhat ata farmaay aur khushi khushi sayhat kay saath wapis watan lay jaay.
Saray GS walay bohat achchay dil kay hain aur aik doosray ka bohat khiaal rakhtay hain. Aap khud ko tanha kioon samajhti hain.
Main hoon na. You can share everything here and in pm too.
Don’t worry Allah azma raha hai aur bemar wo karta hai to shifa bhi deta hai. Allah say khoob apni ghaltion ki bhi maafi manga karain.
Ya to bemar kar kay Allah azmata hai ya hamari ghalti pay naraz ho kay bemar karta hai jo bhi soorat ho Dua aur Allah say maaf bohat faida deti hai.
Dill main poora yaqeen rakhain Allah aap donon ko shifa day ga aur khush o khurram wapis lay jaay ga.
Allah ki aap mahboob hain jabhi to us nain aap ko azmaish main dala hai bemar bachchi day kar ub uska sahi khiaal rakh kar aap Allah ko khush kar sakti hain aur Jannat kama sakti hain.
Allah apnay bundon ko tanha kabhi naheen chorta. Aap ghor karain gi to daikhain gi kay Allah aap ki har jagah madad kar raha hai.
Khoob dua kia kijaay dukhi logon ki Allah sunta hai.
We are, I guess, confused about social unit. In the west, it is the husband and wife and their children which constitute a social unit, while in the east, it is the extended family.
The immigrants to the west and a majority of '(wannabe) westernized' cities in east are caught in between.
Boredom, leave you MIL alone. Im not dealing with an evil MIL but if I was confronted with that type of a situation, I would get out. I try to be very patient with everyone around me but if it affected my child in any way, I dont think I would be able to hold myself back.
My advice is to simply leave your MIL alone. Dont answer her nonsense, dont talk to her, dont answer her calls, interact with her as little as possible. Free up your energy and time for your daughter, she is more important. Your MIL has already had her kids and lived a full life. Its your turn now...
Also, if your husband is the kind of man who worships his mother and doesnt care for his wife and what she is going through...then he needs a reality check. You need to put your MIL in her place and fast.
thnx.