Hi Boredom,
Last time you posted a thread, "husband k saath kya karna chahiye?" And in that thread you asked, "How should we spend time/ what should we talk about Men... what are ure (halal) expectations from ure wives. Wives, plz tell me how u keep interests alive. Thnx. "
Here is an idea.......husband k saath apni problems share karni chahiye! And if he is a strong **husband and a **good father.....then he will stand up to his amma ji and support you and his 2 daughters.
Aur jahan sawal aap ki saas hai.......so tell me, what is the most important thing for you RIGHT NOW? Abhi, is waqt, tumharay liye kaun si baat sab se ziyada important hai? Are your saas's stupid words more important or is your daughter's treatment more important?
Right now, the ONLY thing u need to worry about is your daughter's treatment NOT your saas's** BAKWAAS! And believe me, it's nothing but **bakwaas. The old woman thinks only about "log kya kahein gay" **instead of thinking about her grandaughter. Your daughter needs your **full attention.....and instead you are giving some old backwards painud narrow-minded women the top priority. RIGHT NOW YOU ARE A MOTHER FIRST ....AND THEN A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW. You have more serious issues and instead you are worrying about someone who has proved that she's not worth of any sane person's attention.
You daugther comes first......you shouldn't give a flying **** about your saas! And the next time your saas gives you any of her classic bakwaas, u have 2 options....and number 3 is a request.
1) IGNORE HER. DON't RESPOND. INSIDE 1 EAR, OUT THE OTHER. Once she sees that her words don't affect u, she'll take her bak bak somewhere else.....such as the CRAZY HOUSE...LOONEY BIN....MENTAL ASSYLUM!
2) Give your saas MOON PHAT JAWAB!!! Tell her "Look, right now I don't give a **** what your community think. You can tell them whatever excuses u want, since you're so full of them anyways. I have a daughter to attend to. I have neither the time, nor the energy, not the patience, nor the desire to listen to your petty BULL****!
3) Husband k saath kya karna chahiye? Haaan......us ko saath share karna chahiye! Just tell him what's bothering u. If your husband is a man, he will at least stand up to his AMMA for his epilieptic daughter.
Oh and here's a tip that one of the Guppies shared a long time ago......In front of your husband, treat your saas with the MOST RESPECT AND LOVING CARE. ACT like you love the stupid woman. And when your husband is gone......ignore your saas!
Some of this, I agee with Some of it I don't. Yes, you should talk to your husband about it, but in a way that gets the point across, and not like your bad mouthing her. Nobody wants to hear someone say their mom is the most awful, evil b**** in the world. It will only do you harm.
Just say>>> this is what bothers me about your mom...can you talk to her abt it?
Do ignore the MIL on the things she says that displeases you. BUT DONT TALK BACK TO HER. That's NEVER good. It causes more drama then necessary. If you really need to say something- just tell her that " I am really worried about my daughter and don't have time to think about what the community thinks" Repeat as many times as necessary. BUT BE NICE ABOUT IT!! NEVER say anything in an accusatory tone.
I say the above because I remember one time when this lady's husband was dying, there was always some kind of screaming row going on between her and the MIL>>>>> IT WAS VERY VERY VERY SAD, both for the husband and everyone involved. you don't want to get into a situation where SCREAMING/FIGHTING at your MIL inardvently becomes your top priority instead of you daughter
Redvelvet is rite, in that right now right now your daughter is your TOP most prioritity, and MILs and whoever else takes a seat way back .
I want to add that once I had a brother that passed away, and I can tell you it was one of the most difficults times for my parents, and I can't imagine ehat that time would be like if thre was some kind of fighting going on. Honestly the best approach would just to IGNORE WHAT SHE SAYS AND CONCENTRATE ON YOU DAUGHTER. Whenever she says something, just DONT SAY ANYTHING. NOThING. ASSUME A SILENCE> An awkward moment will follow, and she'll learn to stop saying things like that. AND since you didn't say anything and assumed a silence, no one can blame you for being rude,