how should i behave...

[cute_ainee]

Re: how should i behave…

@Marwah

Maybe you are being too sensitive? it’s not such a terrible thing if your husband asks “why are you buying this?”. Listen.. there’s no reason for you to be “jealous”. Your husband loves his mother, his sister and you…but they’re all different types of love. His mother or sister will never get the kind of love from him, that YOU will. You’re his wife…there’s no reason for you to be jealous unless he’s hitting on other women. You might be looking into this too much…wait and see if he does anything else to put you down. If he doesn’t, then don’t read into it too much…keep yourself busy with other pleasent things so you won’t waste time on petty things.

well when i am at my MIL’s house in Pakistan,i don’t have anything to keep myself busy…i can’t go out on my own,i have to sit with them and spend maximum time with them and all that,i think u understand how it is when we are in a joint family..so thats the big reason i have all my attention towards my hubby and his attitude towards me..:(..i know when i am with them i become over-sensitive…and my days are like hell..

@Sajalina

When he asks you why are you buying this,** tell him I want or need this and end the conversation right there**. Don’t wait for his approval on it and also don’t ever bring up the fact that he himself asks his family to buy things and isn’t so happy when you want to buy some thing.

Ignore everything else and enjoy the trip!

well thats what i did but he said u already have too much of that but still u gotta buy this or that..believe me ,he never said anything to me when i am alone with him and buying things…y he does that in front of his own family…

@mirage

Some men, after marriage, change and forget everything but their wives. Some others keep the balance. They are good to their family and wife alike. Maybe because they are God fearing and do not want to be unfair to either. Your man doesn’t belong to both the categories so maybe you should not expect him to behave the way you idealize or want.

If you want this marriage to work, you will have to be generous, generous, generous, and giving. I know it might feel awful, it even sounds awful. But this is how people win the trust of those who are not ready to trust others. And once and if you won your husband’ trust, which will happen, sooner or later, In sha Allah, one day, he will have to give you the status you desire and deserve.

Well and I believe this is something that was very much prevalent in the previous generation where it was considered odd for the couple to behave the way today’s couples do normally. Our mothers did spend their lives with sacrifice, generosity, patience and tolerance. And these habits are rewarding, no doubt.

that would be sooo frustrating for me…the though of giving,giving, giving all the time is so disappointing..like i also expect things in return…:(..if i have to think this,it makes me dislike him…

@Jolie

You sound so much like nadz123.

Are you sure you’re not her?

no i am not nadz..

@cutie_SLize

Cutee aneee u have so many issues, not being funny

Ur the same girl who’s hubby wasn’t speaking to her for bein rude etc

Is there not a day that goes by where there isn’t a issue which arises in your marriage how long have u been married for???

yeah i do have many issues and who doesn’t have issues..its just that i am all alone and i don’t have anyone to discuss those issues here so i just found this forum to vent..is there something wrong with that? like there are many people here who told me to discuss my issues here as i will feel better..and i do get some really good advice from people on this forum..

its been a year almost…

@Demesne

I completely agree

Also, if you win over the hearts of your inlaws in this manner,** they might out of mere observation watch out for you and if your husband is for instance buying them everything they want and you seem left out, they might say “what do you want?” to you as well and include you.
**
Secondly, he is with you away from family generally. It is natural that when he is with them for the little time he is, he treats them special. You should not begrudge him that.

why should they ask me that what do i want and all..y not my husband??? y should i be on their rehm-o-karam?? thats so annoying..