Ofcourse we have different values with which we would be measuring what purity of self is and these values are either taught or learned. They may be religious or cultural. Assuming that we desis share some sort of a common set of values regarding purity of physical self, I have a few questions to ask. I know it is very difficult to tell the truth about one’s self so I am not wording my questions the way they have come to my mind i.e. express and direct questions. Here are a few questions:
*1) Would you religiously guard yourself from getting physical with a member of opposite sex with whom you have been together enough to entice such an act?
While battling the urge to do it and succumb, how far you have been successful to prevent it?
Having succumbed to it (in case), which feelings have dominated you? Regretful or otherwise?*
My answers to above:
*1) By the time, this happened, I wasnt aware of its importance so I couldnt guard.
As I got to know what it actually is, I have been preventing it religiously. Temptations are there though and I fight these temptations almost jealously.
Incidentally, reply to this is identical to the first one. As I didnt know, it wasnt regretful.*
To those who may prefer not to reply:
You may evaluate yourself within your own conscience and try not to be judgemental about others without recourse to your own feelings in the same scenario.
A request:
Attacks on one’s person, including me, would be un-warranted. If it hurts you to read about what one has gone through while you have been safe from it, pray to God that He has not tested you this bitterly. Please avoid commenting, if you feel like abusing.
I'm a little curious about your answer to 1) . Do you mean that you were unaware of how sinful the action was when you initially did it?
Anyway. My answers.
1) Yes
2) I have always been aware of how serious an act it is and the idea of doing it outside of marriage has always repulsed me. Ever since I was a teenager I've always striven to avoid letting myself get into situations that could tempt me to it - namely, I've always attempted to avoid being alone in private with a member of the opposite gender.
And I mean it that I wasnt aware of its importance.
funguy, I feel like posing some supplementary questions to you but I am avoiding them as they would lead us to some unnecessary discussion. Less arguments the better.
1) Would you religiously guard yourself from getting physical with a member of opposite sex with whom you have been together enough to entice such an act?
*
**I've never been in a relationship, never wiht anyone I care about and love, nor anyone who cared for me. Most past experience has come from being naive enough to believe the lies, ill judgement, uncontrollable need, "accidental" etc. With the lifestyle I lead now, along with the tremendous amount of guilt I feel, there's no way one thing can lead to another and end up as an "accident," rather it takes planning to get to that point. **
2) While battling the urge to do it and succumb, how far you have been successful to prevent it?
**Not very. Always left feeling guilty and worse than I did before going into it. Ther ewas a time I never felt any remorse for doing it, however that's not the case now. *
As always like every man i am of two minds. Medic knows that for certain when it comes to me with his open invitiation and all :D Any sexual acts i would guard against religiously, that would be a very hard decision to take as i have berated fellow muslims for being too weak and succumbing to temptations of the flesh.
A follow up question are we limiting this to intercourse and its other realms or are we including hugging, kissing and holding hands et al?
So far so good. I actually have been in a situation where it would have been very easy for me to get laid. Good thing conservative upbringing kicked my morality into over drive that very second.
Yes. I'm not stupid enough to go all the way, though I think hugging and kissing is inevitable in a long term relationship so don't have a problem with it if I'm marrying the girl.
I have never been into any kinda phyical relation.......besides.....emtions , drives and other bla bla things are natural... just like hunger and thirst.......you ought to feel that way.....otherwise you are not human but an angel.....but yes.....we must control as much as we can
