How do I not get emotionally and mentally attached to a guy I barely know? I’ve talked (as in hey-how are you) with him and his parents, but I don’t know I feel like what?! What has happened to me that I’m always like what if they reject me. I suppose this is attachment to a foreign object. He is some long-lost relative.
I saw him on Skype and he talked nicely and is cute but he only saw my face. I think my real problem over here is that my parents think they might reject me because I’m overweight.
I’m tall (5 feet 8 inches) but I’ve got a stomach which looks like I’m 3 months pregnant. I’ve done everything from exercising, running, pilates, eating healthy/right and yoga but this flabby fat on the stomach won’t budge. Sometimes, I’m like I wish these scientists would invent a fat-blast off to Mars machine, hahah.
Ugh! But, seriously is being overweight a criteria upon which I can be rejected? Plus, how do I not get attached to a potential rishta? Sorry if this is nonsensical. I’m on my phone.
Re: how not to get attached to a potential proposal?
Adding something else. The matchmaker has told the guy's family that the girl is healthy and khaate-peethe log, if that makes sense. So, even after hearing that from the matchmaker, these people decided to go along and see my swell face on Skype, then they either accept/reject me, so they made that decision by themselves in the end. Hahaha, I think I might have solved this problem by myself! LOL
It doesn't matter if you're a size 2 or size 12, if you don't love yourself and feel comfortable in own skin, how can someone else? Self confidence is attractive not self doubt! Good luck!
Re: how not to get attached to a potential proposal?
The words healthy and khaatay peetay laug doesn't give them an exact idea about what you look like...it's kinda vague, I think.
You just have to keep reminding yourself that he's practically a stranger and redirect your thoughts toward other things.
You cannot determine based on one skype interaction if he's compatible to you. Keeping this in mind, bring down ur expectations. He may be a relative, but he's just an attractive stranger for now.
A marriage is not just based on his opinion about you, it also includes your own views...they are just as important. So rather than only worry about whether or not he approves of you....you should also be thinking about if he's right for you or not. Don't reduce the value of your opinions or completely ignore them.
Re: how not to get attached to a potential proposal?
There's two issues here that need to be dealt with separately.
Self image: even if this guy rejects/accepts u or whether another guy comes up. you need to deal with how you look at ur body. u said ur 5-8 but whats you BMI? a tiny bit of tummy's ok but are overall chubby? stomach's the frst thing to stick out. i dont have a flat stomach but i'm at a BMI of 21, which is well below overweight. If you are uncomfortable with your look and it influences of how you think ppl view you, then you need to burn that stomach off (u mentioned u've tried everything...i dont believe that...i used to think i cant lose weight...but persistence is key...you cant diet for 3 months and expect to lose 40 pounds...also how much exercise do you do...jogging for 10 mins might seem like a lot to a couch potato but its not enough...imagine...if 24 hours a day you sit then exercising for an hour n a half isnt that much but we dont think like that do we?) anyway, work on achieving physical fitness, and the flat tummy will follow.
As to becoming attached to potential rishtas...i think the reason that's happening to you is because you're vulnerable so u latch on to the slightest of hope (hence the becoming attached). I know its easier said than done, but stop focusing on rishta/marriage process in your life so much. Have faith, if and when its meant to happen iA it will.
Re: how not to get attached to a potential proposal?
Yep. I have got to work on that.
Yeah, I told my parents that what the matchmaker mentioned to them won’t make much of a difference in anything.
I think now, after thinking seriously about it. He is practically a stranger, and I shouldn’t waste my time drooling over him after one glance on Skype.
I feel like you give the best advice on GS, for some reason. Maybe it’s because your words just make sense!
I think my self-image might be low. As in, I’m trying to eat right and I go running for one hour (since January 2013), and I think that might have affected my body in some way, but it’s still not enough.
It might be that also. Wow! That makes so much sense, tbh.
