Not including ones parents how much should one expect from family? If anything at all?
Have people found that extended families have drifted apart as time goes on?
Re: How much should one expect from extended family?
I just expect basic respect....but even in that can be hard for some. For example, an acquaintance got married not too long ago and was very upset because relos (and even family friends) were making comments about her appearance...."you're so fat, you need to lose weight"....and this too only a few days before the wedding (where, even if one wanted to make any changes...there's not enough time)....but this is the kind of example I'm talking about....the lack of tact...the lack of consideration about the occasion and the effects of their words, etc.
Re: How much should one expect from extended family?
Expect nothing. I must say that the past 3 years have been brutal for my immediate family. However, my mother's side of the family have been pretty amazing and supportive.
I think most people will find out who truly loves and cares about them during difficult times.
Re: How much should one expect from extended family?
**it's a parent's obligation, and they feel happy when the fulfill their duty, to support their children as much and as long as they can afford and as long as and as much as the child may need the support.
their must NOT be a stigma against kids who accept financial support from their parents. however, having said that, children must learn to stand on their ow two feet as quickly as possible so they can take care of their parents if they need any help...:)**
Re: How much should one expect from extended family?
Expect nothing. I must say that the past 3 years have been brutal for my immediate family. However, my mother's side of the family have been pretty amazing and supportive.
I think most people will find out who truly loves and cares about them during difficult times.
And also during happy times as well. People who can't wish you well or be supportive of you during your good times...lack sincerity toward you. And I agree with the other points in your post.....when you notice that a relo frequently disrespects you...your expectations for even this basic thing is lowered.
Re: How much should one expect from extended family?
You are right Redvelvet, but you have to keep in mind that most people will always stick around for the party, the good times ... often, these same people either bail or become really nasty themselves during hard times.
Re: How much should one expect from extended family?
I was referring to another type of people...the kind who will not only stick around for the party but will find ways to ruin it for you.
Re: How much should one expect from extended family?
^ The people who spite your happiness or success
Re: How much should one expect from extended family?
I was referring to another type of people...the kind who will not only stick around for the party but will find ways to ruin it for you.
I flushed these people out of my life already. No regrets. :)
Re: How much should one expect from extended family?
Nothing.
Extended family means distant cousins and relatives, right?
I treat them with respect and courtesy and thats all I want back. Do I expect loyalty of any sort from them? No. I barely know them.
My immediate family is very close...but extended...not so much. I think we drifted apart since my dad came to the US in the early 70's and everyone else came much later. There's a bit of a difference in our mentalities and households.
Re: How much should one expect from extended family?
And also during happy times as well. People who can't wish you well or be supportive of you during your good times...lack sincerity toward you.
What is in the wind today - last 5 minutes, came across two absolute gems. Never thought of the happy times part
Re: How much should one expect from extended family?
i m v social person n in my parents family every1 is v close but its totally opposite in laws so whenever i go 2 pakistan i vist each n every1 4m my distant family n whenever there is some special occasion i call them n they call me :)
Re: How much should one expect from extended family?
We're pretty tight knit.
I don't expect anything from them though?
We have love and respect and that's good enough.
Re: How much should one expect from extended family?
You can always expect them to give you advise that is wrong for you :)
Re: How much should one expect from extended family?
I'v always been closer to my fathers side. I think its because i only had one grandparent who was my dads mother and so naturally my dads family were all together due to having their mother around. My dadi passed away last year and i have noticed siblings drifting apart from each other and then in turn me drifting apart from my cousins. Looking at other families i think this a natural progression. Also, as us cousins are growing up now and various cousins getting married people are drifting further apart. If you think about the girl cousins they are going into new families so how much time do they have to give to their 'old' family if they are expected to keep up with the 'new' family.
Iv never been close to my mums family to be honest. My cousins are all younger than me. My dad isn't their biggest fan either so due to that we keep our distance.