How much should one compromise ..

Lifestyle Relationships
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.. to keep a marriage intact ?

Please keep the desi culture in mind , while answering this .

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Re: How much should one compromise ..

I feel being a desi mom a woman would compromise to any extent for the sake of her children but if her rights r not being fulfilled like not materalistic things but emotional too I dont think one should continue compromising…if the other person isn’t realizing your worth we shouldn’t either plus stop compromising when you feel other person does not respect your feelings…

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Re: How much should one compromise ..

How much… justifiable compromise… obviously… it needs two hands to clap… mean compromise from both side… kabhi koi jukha.. koi akra..

but if it goes to compromise to one spouse… aesi shadiyan tot jaati hian.. ya phir sari zindagi ka rola para rehta hia…

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Re: How much should one compromise ..

The fact is desi culture is bull****. There is no upper limit on how much a woman should compromise, that’s the harsh reality. Women are expected to bear beatings, vile treatment from in-laws, neglect from husband (physical and emotional) etc etc. And even if she gets a divorce, or decides to take action to protect herself in the harshest of situations… inevitably her society and surroundings will find a way to blame her for the breakdown of that union. I can guarantee you every single member of GS has one such story of an acquaintance/family member/friend.

As a human being, if someone realizes the marriage is severely one-sided, then that’s it - call it quits. Everyone has flaws… you have to know yourself what flaws you’re able to accept and work on, and which ones are deal-breakers. Don’t expect desi culture to be a guiding factor, for anyone, in what decision to take.

Having said that… there does seem to be a positive trend toward acceptance and kindness, esp in the newer generation that has had access to technology and a bigger world than their mohallay ki aurtain. I hope it continues that way and Pakistan specifically can treat its women with respect.

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Re: How much should one compromise ..

varies from situation to situation. Also depends how much the compromise you are making is killing you from the inside. If you are the one making all or most of the compromises then eventually you will die from the inside while your marriage might remain intact. if your goal is to keep the marriage intact no matter what, then i think things like your own peace, your emotions, your own well being,takes a back seat and you can go to any extent and make a compromise.

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Re: How much should one compromise ..

West only treated women well after women empowerment and feminist movements and laws became very favorable and the women brought about a change in societies values. That ain’t happening there in a long time.

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Re: How much should one compromise ..

Do you live in Pakistan??seems like not cuz times have changed women no longer bear beatings or emotional abuse I know of 3-4 friends who got took divorce due to different valid reasons and MA they are well settled looking after their kids though am sure their families must have given them a hard time not to take divorce…and i believe Male dominance is an issue all over the world not just Pakistan…

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Re: How much should one compromise ..

That’s my point… there is a newer trend in our generation towards supporting women. However, this is limited to educated, upper/middle class people. Which does not make up a huge segment of society in Pakistan. The majority still hold despicable views when it comes to women and divorce.

Male ‘dominance’ is a different issue. Men do have a distinct and clear advantage in the world, true. As long as men support women and don’t actively quash their goals, male ‘dominance’ isn’t really a problem. Culturally,in terms of evolution/biology as well, men are the breadwinners/protectors and women are caregivers. There’s nothing wrong with that. Again, as long as they’re not actively ending pathways for women to other options.

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Re: How much should one compromise ..

When you look at the matrimonial sites it is littered with desi divorcees and things will get a lot worse in coming years. They are so far removed from reality that it is not even funny.

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Re: How much should one compromise ..

As a father who loves his daughters more than anything, I am willing to compromise on everything.

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Re: How much should one compromise ..

I have compromised more than I think I could have for the well being of my children.