True that these things are not easy unless the account holders allows you to.
But speaking from experience it is thought by the inlaws that after marriage all earnings of wife belongs to husband and inlaws. She just does not have any right over it. She has to handover all of it. **There is always a physical evidence of your salary **and by chance if anyone gets a hold of it then you can not hide your financial info anymore. Believe me people search their wife's hand bags and stuff in their absence to find these things and like I said some people ask and some people use ways to get money while acting shareef and angelic.
an here is a real life scenario for you which is not so rare. parents forcing son to give all his earnings to them and telling him to run his own house on wife's earnings. Now indirectly they are making dil pay for their expenses. Kahnay ko to they are taking money from their own son but actually they are doing it by using their dil.
there is saying that app achay to duniya achi. so that does not mean if you or your family have never done something like that it does not happen. You can find hundreds of such examples in middle income and lower income families in Pakistan.
My previous post has summed it what could be said.
I can go on and discuss further this post of your, but the water is polluted by someone.
Is it reasonable when your husband asks you to show your mother in law your paychecks and hand over your savings to her so she can save it for you?
No.
What's the possible reason for asking such a thing. That she is she better at saving? Will it be ok if the wife asks the husband to show his MIL the stubs and let her save? lol. That's just weird and definitely a red flag if it is being discussed before marriage.
Is it reasonable when your husband asks you to show your mother in law your paychecks and hand over your savings to her so she can save it for you?
totally insane.........I have been there I know what you are talking about !
just think that if you go crazy and start giving your salary to your MIL what would you be left ...esp 10 years down the line ? if you have kids and you want to buy something for them or save something for their future needs would you go to your MIL begging for your own money ? and if your MIL approves your request then your will get the funds ?
and a person who feels that he/she has a right over someone's money and can demand it's control just because you have been given a status / a relationship which is considered superior in the society , that person is neither sane nor kind nor decent and do you really think that your money would not me misused by that person ?
you work hard all day long to earn that money and you have a right over it thats it !
How much involvement (from a non-aggressive point of view) is too much from inlaws?
Im talking about inlaws you actually like, respect and want to keep happy.
Is it reasonable for them to want to see your paychecks, monitor your savings and give you an allowance?
I'd like, respect and want to keep them happy IF they respected my privacy and didn't ask for keeping such tabs on me...respect is earned, and it goes two ways...I'd try my best to keep them happy, without offending them...just like I would do with my mum.
Is it reasonable when your husband asks you to show your mother in law your paychecks and hand over your savings to her so she can save it for you?
Nope. Unless I have a huge pending problem, which I do not. Im a capable adult, she has no business in my money...and what if she was not saving all of it? If she is ok money wise, she has no business handling mine. I would rather keep my money where I can see it.