I made a point in another thread about having a certain quality of life…
nobody wants to live in poverty and everyone has what they feel is a certain standard… at what point does that standard go from being normal to over, bordering on materialistic?
At the same time, there are those who are content with less…should they be looked down upon if they are content with going to public schools and not private schools? if they prefer to rent their apartment or home, instead of taking out a mortgage, or drive a less expensive car?
I see many posts here all the time, with certain people looking their noses down on those who are not as educated or dont have the same quality of education they do…
i don’t have a car even, car lift per ati jaati houn, ghar ki grocery kay liye kitna chalti houn per i never felt that i am down trodden and kumtar haiseeyat hai meri
logoun ki soch galt ho jati hai jub un kay paas zayada paisa aa jata hai
i used to get a very very handsome salary per kabhi upnay feet zameen say nahi uthaey
Sara- needs of some people are luxury for others. It varies from families to families and from person to person. When I got married , in my susraal the use of tissue paper was a luxury and for me it was a need ! They thought of me as a spoiled kid of her parents who use tissue to wipe her face & clean her hands. But in my parents house tissue paper boxes & rolls comes in monthly grocery it was soo normal for me.
My dad has done his schooling from government school (so called peela school) so he wanted me to go to a private school . My parents sent me to a very average private school because thats what was the best they could afford at that time . Now when it comes to my child I want her to get better education than I did. We parents always want our children to get better than what we got , I think it's common with all the parents. How much is enough depends upon your perception , you goals / objectives , the way you have lived life and you dreams. Sky is the limit to what is enough :)
no one should look down upon anyone I always say you live your life according to your circumstances.
im wondering if ur referring to me... lol. But aah well.
I think diamond said it pretty well.
Another thing, each generation should be better off than the previous. If our parents have worked hard and gotten us to a good state (a state that was better than the state they bagan from), then we ought to do justice to that, make them proud... and achieve higher.
What is so wrong with that?
It's not about wants becoming necessities. Times have changed... where a mobile phone almost seems like a neccessity these days... a decade ago, it was a luxury.
Back when we were in highschool, public schools provided good education... but as time has progressed, so has the education system. Certain public schools that were alright to send your kid in our time, have become like no go zones.. Yet, some of the public schools are still ones producing brilliant academics, that houses in those suburbs are literally unaffordable to the us working kind.
Noone looks down upon someone who may not have had the same education as them.... I dont recall anyone even stating such a thing. I do think education is a must though.. for everyone. Even our parents generation... Id ask them to seek out.. read the news or anything to keep themselves informed of the world around them.
all i know .. .. mujhay bus itna chahiye .. k Allah k ilawa kisi aur k samnay haath philanay ki zaroorat na paray! .. thats it! PERIOD!
rest - for me a person is important 'caz of his/her age/personality ... ... for me even a old peon of my office is respectable .. .. and this is one of biggest turn on/off for me .. .. if some of my friend can't respect elders or someone for his "hardwork" .. .. he is out my league!
Sara- needs of some people are luxury for others. It varies from families to families and from person to person. When I got married , in my susraal the use of tissue paper was a luxury and for me it was a need ! They thought of me as a spoiled kid of her parents who use tissue to wipe her face & clean her hands. But in my parents house tissue paper boxes & rolls comes in monthly grocery it was soo normal for me.
exactlyyyyy and lol at the tissue paper being a luxury...For example, I use a monthly unlimited pass to travel. My friends always said that it was such a luxury and for me...it was never a luxury but a necessity...even my husband understood that I needed one since that was my main mode of transportation.
Noone looks down upon someone who may not have had the same education as them.... I dont recall anyone even stating such a thing. I do think education is a must.. for anyone. Even our parents generation... Id ask them to seek out.. read the news or anything to keep themselves of the world around them.
Khair, enough babble from me
Yes, you may not have, but there are definitely othres who have and continue to do so.
I agree iwth your point about trying to do better than what our parents could provide...it makes sense..
There's nothing wrong with working hard to achieve what you want but what i'm asking is, at what point does it become NOT worth the extra struggle?
I think i read this in the thread where husband and wives live seperately cz the husband has a job elsewhere....often happens that the father works hard his entire life to provide for the wife and children, only for hte kids to grow up and he doesnt have a close rleationship with his wife or kids....can someone who went through that say that their struggles weren't worth all the material goods they amassed?
I made a point in another thread about having a certain quality of life....
nobody wants to live in poverty and everyone has what they feel is a certain standard.... at what point does that standard go from being normal to over, bordering on materialistic?
*I don't think that there's a standard point..after which you are deemed "materialistic"...that point will vary from person to person. What is considered "excessive" to one person may be the "norm" for another. It's like the point that Diamond made about one person's basic need being another person's luxury. *
At the same time, there are those who are content with less....should they be looked down upon if they are content with going to public schools and not private schools? if they prefer to rent their apartment or home, instead of taking out a mortgage, or drive a less expensive car?
*"Should" they be looked down upon? No. But can you prevent someone from looking down upon you? No. Private schools are not necessarily always better than public schools. Sometimes private schools lack educational resources because they don't have the funds that public schools do. And I've attended both public and private schools...and I've taught at both. You could be rich enough to attend the most expensive schools in the world, and turn out to be a complete imbecile. And you can attend public schools and a not so renowned university and turn out to be the next Einstein or a very stable individual with a successful career. Those that choose to lead a simple life may have fewer problems. Sometimes the more you have, the more you're accountable for, the more stressful it becomes to upkeep and maintain your high standard of living. The grass can appear greener on the other side but closer inspection can reveal otherwise. Everybody's got their problems. Sometimes we don't see the good that we have. *
I see many posts here all the time, with certain people looking their noses down on those who are not as educated or dont have the same quality of education they do.....
^^^If it's about "education" that you're so worried about....then "educated is as educated does." Stupidity in thought and action can transcend education and class. And keep in mind that a Bachelor's Degree in one field can be earning a greater salary than a Master's Degree in another field. If you're comparing just the level of degree, the latter may be bigger....but comparing salary...it can be the other way around. And if you consider that...who is superior? The person with the lesser degree who makes more? Or the person with the higher degree who makes less?
I agree iwth your point about trying to do better than what our parents could provide...it makes sense..
There's nothing wrong with working hard to achieve what you want but what i'm asking is, at what point does it become NOT worth the extra struggle?
not sure Sara. To each their own I guess?
For some, even though they earn enough to buy the luxuries they want, they wont. They are content with what they have and try to stay within reasonable limits. Others, who may not have a lot of monies, they may spend more on luxury items than someone who really can afford it without any trouble.
It really depends on what you want.. or whats more important for you
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I think i read this in the thread where husband and wives live seperately cz the husband has a job elsewhere....often happens that the father works hard his entire life to provide for the wife and children, only for hte kids to grow up and he doesnt have a close rleationship with his wife or kids....can someone who went through that say that their struggles weren't worth all the material goods they amassed?
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you really dont know someones circumstances. Some people want their kids to get the best educaiton they can (in their means) and the dad will work overseas.. work hard all his life so he can get all his kids through good schools.. whilst the kids may be living elsewhere. Yes, maybe at teh end of the day they may not have a very close relationship... but for them, seeing their children succeed is enough. And for the kids to be able to support their parents in their old age, is well worth it.
Not everyoen measures happiness the same way.
There are other fathers who work all their life overseas so they can get their kids married.
There are sons living overseas, working insane hour shifts.. sacrificing their degrees so they can pay off their parents debts.. gets siblings married. They may lose the closeness to their fam in one way, in another way.. they have gained the respect of generations to come.
at what point does that standard go from being normal to over, bordering on materialistic?
There shouldn't be any limit.
The limit will come once your ego kicks in and you start to judge others based on these materialistic things.
Otherwise if you do not have any superiority or inferiority complex, then all is well.
For instance, I want to be successful, I want to be able to do everything but not to show the rest of the world, but only to improve myself and I will never compare myself to to others nor will I judge others because everyone has different goals, different priorities in life. No one person is the same.
*The limit will come once your ego kicks in and you start to judge others based on these materialistic things.
*
*Otherwise if you do not have any superiority or inferiority complex, then all is well.
*
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^Good points.
I think that if you see someone who has "less" than you and you look down on them without even attempting to understand the reasons behind their situation....then you've crossed that limit. Sometimes those reasons are hard to control (poverty, sudden circumstances that require adjustments in your expenditures, etc). Sometimes people "choose" the "lesser" because of the benefits (examples: a public school that has a good reputation or a "lesser" car that is better for the environment, etc). If you're quick to judge someone without reflecting over the reasons.....you may have crossed the "limit/point"
^ But EVEN THEN....that individual has crossed **YOUR **limit/point. And **YOUR **limit might not be their limit and they may not think they're doing anything wrong.
Also, you never know but you might think that the other person has a superiority complex because you yourself may have an inferiority complex. If someone, let's say, shares good news with you about buying a luxury car or sending their kids to a wonderful private school.....and you automatically think that person is bragging as a way of rubbing it in your face or looking down on you (which might be the case or it might not)...it could be due to your own inferiority complex. If you feel self-conscience about having less, then that can affect your judgment as well. If you're content with what you have and the decisions you've made, you won't let it bother you much.
I'm used to living on ***** but thats okay with me all i ever earn goes out of me like a sieve but i'm content becuase i can't take anything with me can I?
I live a simple existence becuase it's the best existence.
I am also very nomadic and apart from my arsenal theres nothing else of any real value... to me so long as i am healthy and have a healthy arsenal all is possible...
Even without my arsenal i could get another one with the knowledge i have... so life for me is like a constant mission... live on the minimum.
My parents saw the partition first hand and theres no way i will let another person suffer that again... best is to never be able to sit in one place... do that and i'm finished keep moving and no one can defeat us.
