How much do you tell your children

Lifestyle Parenting, Household Affairs and Cuisine corner
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As parents we have to accept the fact that our kids will learn about things before we want them to no matter how much we protect them. For example, the menstrual period issue…moms try to hide it from their school going kids until they learn about it in class. To a certain extent I agree but when your child finds out about it, do you hush it up or sit down and have a casual chit chat with them?

As my kids are growing, I am realizing that the more I hide stuff from them, the more curious they become, and in order to satisfy their inquistive minds, they look elsewhere for answers, not always getting the right results.

So for example, a few days ago, my 8 year old daughter asked me why I skip namaz a few days every month while dad never does, I told her that Allah has given women the right to take a break…to which she felt really sorry for her dad and all her symapthies were for him. She was quite OK with my response for now but soon I know I may not be able to get by that easily.

My question is, do you go with the flow or do you have age-specific guidelines as to what must be shared and when?

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Re: How much do you tell your children

I wasnt taught anything that was borderline rude or "you should not know" kind of mentality. I guess school, taught me most things and I learnt from friends etc...

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Re: How much do you tell your children

We dont have any age specific guidelines. We discuss/explain things to kids with the flow. We encourage them to ask questions and not hide anything from parents. Although sometimes they ask such questions that make us :blush: as other people are around but we never discourage them.

My sister was just blessed with the baby-boy last month and my 5 yo picked up physical changes in her. Last night I went home from work, she had a plastic ball hiding under her shirt. She hugged me and then rubbed the ball (over her shirt) and said “baba I am having baby” :smack: how can u hide things from such kids? :konfused:

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Re: How much do you tell your children

^^ Exactly. And I think the more you jump and overreact, you only make it worse.

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Re: How much do you tell your children

Times are different now. When we were kids, we did not have 100 gazzillion tv channels or internet. Kids get exposed to things faster than we did. They are more curious about life than we were. They ask more questions than we did.

My older one and now younger one are very curious about the concept of death. They keep asking us questions. I do not remember even once discussing 'death' with my parents.

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Re: How much do you tell your children

Plus its better that they get correct information from Parents instead of loaded information from class mates.

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Re: How much do you tell your children

very true. I think life and death has always been a reason of curiosity in kids but we were raised to accepts things as they are and not question things. Kids these days question everything which might be annoying for some parents but goes long way in developing the balanced personalities of the kids.

I remember when I was kid, my worry was not to kiss any girl as she might end up getting pregnant from my baby just by kissing :smack:

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Re: How much do you tell your children

I would have to say that I prefer to go with the flow.
If my child is asking me something then this means he/she already has some level of comprehension (accurate or not). I try to find a way to explain the concept without exposing the minute details. I hope that this makes her feel like her question was given the right amount of importance and that she was being treated as an intelligent individual rather than an insignificant child.

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Re: How much do you tell your children

This is a real tricky area and as I have been blessed with three daughters (one 12,one 11 and the youngest 2) I have always known that this is something I cannot run away from. My eldest did sex education at primary school when she was in Year 5 and again in more detail when she was in high school and started her periods when she became 12.

My mother never told me anything about periods and I had to find out the hard awkward way. I don't blame her, its just that she was never ever told anything by her mother but I decided to cut that chain and tell her what she needed to know. I didn't just sit her down and spoke about these things. I told her that she could always come to me if she was in doubt about anything and I would explain in more detail. I would rather she hear the correct information from me rather than horror stories in the playground.

She was 11 when her baby sister was born and throughout my pregnancies I would always explain when asked, what was happening, how big the baby was getting, the pains I was having and the untold amount of maternity pads I had stocked up on! So yes, I think it's a good idea to always be there and educate your girls rather than be so embarrassed, you run the risk of them being ill informed which can lead to problems later on.

I was 12 when I started and I never really paid much attention in classes so when I started mine, I thought I was dying. I literally thought I was bleeding to death. That has had a huge effect on me and I am so determined that my daughters don't go through this phase of insecurity. There is NO way us mums can avoid this issue, we HAVE to educate them, it is out duty. By doing this, we can equip them better but it doesn't mean that we have to tell them too much otherwise I feel that some girls may lose their shyness by always discussing these matters to all and sundry. I have made it a rule that whatever they want to ask me, they should not feel scared or embarrassed. I have told my kids that I am their mum as well as their best mate and they will always get a honest answer from me. If I think the query is irrelevant I will say so.

I always think that if your daughter(s) are mature enough to understand what is going on, we owe it to them to be truthful and upfront. After all, it is their bodies, they are going through the changes, they need to know what is in store for them.

That said, I don;t feel the need to talk about love, sex and relationships. For me, I just don't see the need. I think this is for most gorey parents who allow their kids to become promiscuous and want advice about sex. In our culture, we don't think like that.