With men it is tricky. Ego is one thing, confidence is another, and I always have a hard time differentiating between the two in men.
A confident man will be fair and kind to others and do right by others and retains his morals, he just believes in himself and is content with what he has.
A man with ego - BAD NEWS. It will be his way or the highway. He has no liaaz for others. He just doesnāt care, heāll get what he wants, and for this group, sometimes, theyāre willing to do bad things to get what they want. To these people, itās the brand name, not the content, that matters.
Iāll give you examples that iāve come across that are tip-offs that the guy is just ridiculously awful:
-I commented to one person that the Balochis in Pakistan have it really bad, their province isnāt getting their fair share of resources. The guy scoffed āWho cares about Balochis?ā.
-Upon asking why did you chose to go to that univ? āBecause of the name, any other school is not worth going toā. So he chose a univ program based on the name of the school rather than content of the program
-Always ask where the guy shops. A down to earth humble normal guy will not be shopping designer tags.
-Ask about finances, and how he sees himself managing future finances with the wife. A response such as āI never thought about itā - take it as he is hiding something negative, every man has thought about this! Especially the older guys, and for sure the divorced guys! He just knows the answer will scare you, so he feigns ignorance.
-Look at the women in his family. I was fooled into thinking that if I see a bunch of career women, I can rest assured the family is open minded. NOT SO. Ask about the history of the girls who married INTO the family. One SIL of the guy - doctor - but she was brought over from Pakistan as a daactarni, and did not get to do her residency until her kids were in high school. Iām honestly surprised she even got a residency spot so late in life, cuz usually it doesnāt happen. By inside details of the case, somehow I think there was a family connection, and thatās how that woman got a position. Soā¦you think your future hubby and his mother are gonna play any differently with you when it comes to your career?
-Find out what car he drives. Humble down to earth men, do not spend $$$ on mercedes and BMWās even if they can afford it - theyād rather spend that cash on the poor and charity and building community masjids
-A guy involved in his community masjid or spends time outside of jummah namaz at the masjid - good sign. I thought a jumma-goer was a good sign, but I have learned that ANYONE can go to jummah.
-Man who was involved in his college MSA - good sign. A dude who stayed far away from it, because he was afraid heād get a bad rep ( A bad reputation by associating with other muslims, really?) - heās got an ego.
-And most of all, do not judge by how successful they are with their education and careers. Morals are not taught in grade school anymore, they stopped teaching the bible in elementary school a long time ago.
