So I was thinking. Do you have a scale by which you judge potential rishtas looks wise? What if the guy/girl is really great but looks like they had too much birthday cake. What is the guy/girl looks like a model but has an ego the size of a country?
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
^It's interesting you mentioned that. A friend of mine was just talking about that. Her take was that if the person has a great personality and works out well in all other areas but has minor physical/appearance issues, she'd accept them since appearance, style, weight, and the like can be changed (assuming the person wants to). She said she wouldn't be so keen to accept a gorgeous guy with a bad personality/ego issues because personality can't be changed and says quite a bit about the person.
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
So?
Why does it have to be a choice between two extremes........where you either pick the prospect that you are not attracted to in the least but has a good personality or pick the one that is good looking but has a lousy personality? What is wrong with skipping both and finding someone...who doesn't have to be Brad Pitt but who you feel some attraction toward and whom you also find compatible?
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
Why does it have to be a choice between two extremes........where you either pick the prospect that you are not attracted to in the least but has a good personality
I don't the OP meant accepting someone you're not attracted to in the least, but rather someone you're attracted to in some way (after all, if you're entertaining a proposal from them, there must be something about them that you like) but has a minor appearance issue.
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
^ What is a minor appearance issue?
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
^ I suppose that depends on personal opinion. What one person considers minor, might not be so minor to another person.
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
^ What is a minor appearance issue?
one toe longer than others...
one nostril bigger than other
large ears
etc
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
So I was thinking. Do you have a scale by which you judge potential rishtas looks wise? What if the guy/girl is really great but looks like they had too much birthday cake. What is the guy/girl looks like a model but has an ego the size of a country?
How would you know the person is great, Ufsana? You would have to talk to them and know them to a certain extent, right? So if you are talking to them, doesn't that suggest you are giving them a chance to prove to you that they are great and you should overlook superficial factors?
I don't really have a scale, per se, but certain things are a major turnoff for me. Most proposals I consider, I see their pic first and only talk to them if I can see myself being attracted to the person. If there is zero attraction to begin with, why waste everyone's time by talking first and then rejecting them anyway?
I'm fairly tall, so "minor appearance" issue for me would be a guy who was roughly the same height as me.
Major turnoff for me would be a single guy in his late 20's or early 30's who has a pot belly.
I would give the former a chance but not wasting my time on the latter.
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
ButtSb, app ki baat tu nahi ho rahi thi. App aiwiyen apni qualities ginwaana shuru ho gaye hain 
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
why so madz??
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
why so madz??
panga lene ke mood main hon, is liye.
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
maiN to paRhne ke ba'd bhii judge nahiiN kartaa! :D
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
I don't the OP meant accepting someone you're not attracted to in the least, but rather someone you're attracted to in some way (after all, if you're entertaining a proposal from them, there must be something about them that you like) but has a minor appearance issue.
We don't know if having eaten too much birthday cake translates into a minor "bein' a bit pudgy"......or if it's a polite way of saying they're obese, which would be a major issue. So if we cannot assume as I had earlier that there is absolutely no physical attraction, we also cannot make assumptions as to the degree (minor or major) of the issue. Weight can affect the way clothes look on you even if they're designer variety and it affects your facial features, so this one aspect can potentially influence overall attraction. But for argument's sake, let's say the OP thought the weight was a minor issue. In the broad category of looks, only weight has been mentioned....and we are to assume that "some" attraction though it may not be "enough" is felt and that it's a "minor" issue. In the 2nd scenario....in the broad category of personality, only ego is mentioned. We don't know if this country-sized ego is a constant in every interaction 24/7, or if the country-sized ego manifests itself in certain situations. If we are to assume that the viewer feels "some" physical attraction toward the candidate who has a weight problem.......can it not be said that "some" amount of attraction is felt toward the personality of the candidate with a big ego?
If OP has set up the equation to have us think along the lines k....candidate A has a perfect personality and a "minor" appearance issue........and candidate B is hot but has a "major" personality flaw.....(so which one would you pick folks?)......is that not a skewed set-up? Why not treat the ego as a minor issue as well...because the degree of that is subject to debate just like the weight?
Another angle to consider is that....with candidate 1....let's say the individual gets a current picture of him/her and it is clear in the pic that there is a weight problem. If DESPITE that, the individual STILL decided to meet the person to get to know them.....we might say that personality matters more to the individual than looks. And in that case egotistical candidate B's chances don't look so good. **Perhaps THIS is what you meant when you said earlier that if the rishta is being entertained then there must be "some" attraction. If you look at it THIS way.....the equation OP has set it up is still **skewed toward or in favor of the 1st candidate.
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
With men it is tricky. Ego is one thing, confidence is another, and I always have a hard time differentiating between the two in men.
A confident man will be fair and kind to others and do right by others and retains his morals, he just believes in himself and is content with what he has.
A man with ego - BAD NEWS. It will be his way or the highway. He has no liaaz for others. He just doesn't care, he'll get what he wants, and for this group, sometimes, they're willing to do bad things to get what they want. To these people, it's the brand name, not the content, that matters.
I'll give you examples that i've come across that are tip-offs that the guy is just ridiculously awful:
-I commented to one person that the Balochis in Pakistan have it really bad, their province isn't getting their fair share of resources. The guy scoffed "Who cares about Balochis?".
-Upon asking why did you chose to go to that univ? "Because of the name, any other school is not worth going to". So he chose a univ program based on the name of the school rather than content of the program
-Always ask where the guy shops. A down to earth humble normal guy will not be shopping designer tags.
-Ask about finances, and how he sees himself managing future finances with the wife. A response such as "I never thought about it" - take it as he is hiding something negative, every man has thought about this! Especially the older guys, and for sure the divorced guys! He just knows the answer will scare you, so he feigns ignorance.
-Look at the women in his family. I was fooled into thinking that if I see a bunch of career women, I can rest assured the family is open minded. NOT SO. Ask about the history of the girls who married INTO the family. One SIL of the guy - doctor - but she was brought over from Pakistan as a daactarni, and did not get to do her residency until her kids were in high school. I'm honestly surprised she even got a residency spot so late in life, cuz usually it doesn't happen. By inside details of the case, somehow I think there was a family connection, and that's how that woman got a position. So...you think your future hubby and his mother are gonna play any differently with you when it comes to your career?
-Find out what car he drives. Humble down to earth men, do not spend $$$ on mercedes and BMW's even if they can afford it - they'd rather spend that cash on the poor and charity and building community masjids
-A guy involved in his community masjid or spends time outside of jummah namaz at the masjid - good sign. I thought a jumma-goer was a good sign, but I have learned that ANYONE can go to jummah.
-Man who was involved in his college MSA - good sign. A dude who stayed far away from it, because he was afraid he'd get a bad rep ( A bad reputation by associating with other muslims, really?) - he's got an ego.
-And most of all, do not judge by how successful they are with their education and careers. Morals are not taught in grade school anymore, they stopped teaching the bible in elementary school a long time ago.
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
-Always ask where the guy shops. A down to earth humble normal guy will not be shopping designer tags.
-Find out what car he drives. Humble down to earth men, do not spend $$$ on mercedes and BMW's even if they can afford it - they'd rather spend that cash on the poor and charity and building community masjids
I agree with everything you said except this part. Wearing designer clothing doesn't necessarily mean a guy is not down to earth. The fact that a guy is wearing a particular designer item doesn't mean the guy only bought that item because of the designer label. Maybe the guy just liked the item (before even looking at the tag)?
The same can also be said about your point regarding the type of car a guy drives. Driving a nice car doesn't mean the guy isn't humble or down to earth. A guy can drive a nice car AND still give to charity and the local masjid. Liking nice things and being charitable aren't mutually exclusive. For example, my (future) father-in-law drives a mercedes yet still donates to our local masjid and does loads of charity work.
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
This is true, but it's a pretty sensitive measure to rule in people who are greedy based on their materialism, and then within that group, you can always exclude people who are more down to earth by looking at what else they do.
But if I see a lot of brand name this, and brand name that, it gets annoying to me.
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
The word is lehaaz with huqqay/halway waali hey.. 
wesay very thought provoking post baji ji.. :k:
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
Forget about the cover, people still can and do misjudge others after reading them to the last page.
You do know what I mean by last page do you? ;)
But for argument sake, and by all other means please continue.
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
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Do you have a scale by which you judge potential rishtas looks wise
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Laila was kaali, and Majnon was *aashiq *on her because he found her attractive. I wonder if Laila was chitti and got same amount of love from Majnon. Laila and Majnon were extreme case of love in the books of love.
People never know what ideas and morals you hold until you converse with them, if this is general assumption then look does matter before you turn title page.
Your question is about beauty and external appearance of potential rishta, and that is** subjective topic**. I am not sure what had Majnon seen in Laila? What I mean here is that you know what you want.
Re: How much do you judge a book by its cover?
My take on this is one can never be able to see the future.
The universal and time tested truth is:
Those who get in to the marriage relation based on greed, or any superficial ideas (be it beauty, visa, money, fame or infatuation) most likely get separated.