Well - we have heard most of them , a brazillion times…
They have been posted here on GS as well, but I think this list has few new ones that may tickle your funny bone … 
ENJOY 
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The classic: “main tumhaare bachche ki maan banne waali hoon.”
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The eternal reason for being the victim of anything that can happen to you in hindi films :
" Mai gareeb hoon na , isliye …" -
A main character in the movie will go to the temple and say :
“Bhagwan mainey tumse aaj tak kuch nahin maanga…” -
Old hindi movie : “Aiye ji sunte ho.. Aap bade woh hein.”
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Lover-girl to leaving lover-boy : "Mai tumhare bina nahin jee sakti "
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“Kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hein”
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“Rukjao! kanoon ko apne haath mein mat lo”
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Judge announcing his decision in filmi court : “Gawaaoon key bayaanat aur saboot ko madde nazar rakhtey Taz-e-raat-e-hind, dafaa 302 ke tahet , muzrim ko sazaaye maut di jaati hai”
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“Muzrim ko ba-izzat bari kiya jaata hai”
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“Main is Geeta per haath rakhkar yeh saugandh leta hoon ki jo bhi kahoonga sach kahoonga, aur sach ke siva kuch nahin kahoonga.”
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“Inspector! Giraftaar karlo issey”
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“Raam Raam kaaka”
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"Jug Jug jiyo beta "
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“Ab hum kisi ko muh dikhaane ke layak nahin rahe”
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“Kya issi din ke liye tujhe paal pos ke bada kiya tha?”
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Typical farmer ka dialogue : “mainey is zameen ko apne khoon sey seencha hai”
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Hero/heroine after opening their eyes in the hospital : “Main kahan hoon?”
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“Mai kahti hoon, Door ho jaa meri nazron sey”
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“Is ghar ke darwaaze, tumhare liye hamesha ke liye band hein”
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A Prem-Chopra-type villian to the heroine/village belle : “In gori gori kalaiyon ko kaam karne ki kya zaroorat hai”
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“Chhod do mujhe, bhagwaan ke liye chhod do”
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“Maine tumhe kya samjha, Aur tum kya nikley!”
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Doctor : " Ab Sab oopar waale key haath mein hai"
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Doctor : "Chowbees ghante tak hosh nahin aiya to … "
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“Agar Maa ka doodh piya hai to saamne aa.”
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"Jyaada hoshiayari karne ki koshish maat karna "
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Amitabh in many movies : " Nahin chhodunga tujhe. Jaan sey maar daaloonga."
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“Bhagwaan pe bharosa rakho. Sab thik ho jaiye ga”
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“Woh ek gandi naali ka keeda hai”
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"Woh kutte ki maut marega "
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"Ajji sunte ho , munna ke pitajee "
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Rich father to son : " Ek phooti kaudi nahin doonga "
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“Zamaane ne thokar laga-laga ke is dil ko paththar bana diya”
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Dharmendra in many movies : " Kutte! Kamine ! …"
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Dharmendra : “Chun Chun ke maaroonga, ek-ek ko chun chun ke maroonga”
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Lalita Pawar in many scenes : " Chudeil! Kide pade tere …"
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The favoirite emotional blackmail : "Tune yeh kiya to tu mere mara muh dekhegi "
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All filmi chowkidaars : " Shhalaam Shhaab!"
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Inspector Iftekar on a megaphone : " Apne aap ko police ke hawaale kar do. Police ne chaaron taraf sey tumhe gher liya hai. Apne hathiyaar phenk do "
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“Bhaagne ki koshish mat karna”
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“pulice ko tum jaise naujawaanon per naaz hai”
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The classic : " Thairo! Yeh shaadi nahin ho sakti !"
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The villian’s sidekick : "Boss! Maal pakda gaya "
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"Bol! Bol heere kahan chuppa rakhe hai "
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“Ab tumhari maa hamare kabze mein hai”
“Agar tum paanch llaakh leker, silver beech ke puraney killey pe nahin aiye, to mai usse bum se udaa doongaa” -
“Yeh sauda tumhe bahut mehnga padega”
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“Jo sheeshe ke gharon mein rehte hein, woh doosron pe paththar nahin phenkte”
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“Hum woh hein jo paththar ko kaanch se tod-liya karte hein”
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- The stereotypical announcer : “Bhaiyon aur behnon …” “Ladies and Gentelmen …”
- Mehmood, the announcer : “Ladies and Ledas …”
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“Mai tumahara aihsaan zindagi bhar nahin bhoolonga”
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“Itnay paise tum kahan sey laiye ?”
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“Police mere peeche lagi hui hai ..”
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“Tum mere liye mar chuke ho”
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“Ghar mein do-do jawaan betiyaan hein”
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“Lo! - Muh meetha karo”
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“Hato naa! Log kya kahenge”
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“Khabardaar jo mujhe haath bhi lagayaa ..”
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“Aarre! isse to tez bukhaar hai”
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“Aaj Pinky ka janam din hai”
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“Gurkha, isse dhakke maarke bahar nikaal do”
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Nirupa roy’s favourite “Ek baar mujhe maa kehkar pukaro beta”
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“… mujhe tumhaare is behte hue khoon ki kasam …”
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“Beti, tu to paraya dhan hai”
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“Zabaan ko lagaam do ..”
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“Pesh hai duniya ke jaane-maane kalakaar, Miss Renu”
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On a suhaagraat nite, wife to husband : " Doodh pee lijiya"
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“Hume tedi anguli se ghee nikaalna aata hai”
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“Kutte ki dum tedi-ki-tedi hi rehti hai”
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“Bhabhi, tumhare haath ki chai peene ko man kar raha hai”
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“Tune mere peeth pe chura bhoka hai”
