Re: how many of you chatted freely and behaved married to your fiance/fiancees?
Every family/couple is different. Some prefer to wait until the nikkah to socialize. Some prefer to wait until after the rukhsati to chat freely. And some are comfortable enough to socialize after the engagement.
If you look at it from religious stance, then it's better to get the nikkah done prior to behaving "married." If you have not had your nikkah, stay within your physical boundaries but continue to get to know each others' personalities. This is a matter of individual opinion. You need to do what you feel is best for you and your relationship within the limits of Islam.
Nadz, you have created several threads on marriage and there is nothing wrong with that. You can create as many threads as you like. However, I'm getting the vibe that you're feeling nervous and scared. And when we're nervous...it's natural for our minds to become scattered and for us to lose focus and try to analyze WAY TOO MANY THINGS all at once. I've been in that position before and we don't realize that we're all over the place.
I think you should sit down, relax, and prioritize your concerns. And deal with the the tasks of pressing nature that you can presently handle. For example, right now, consider focusing on the communication issues from the previous thread. One thing at a time. Too much analysis will drive you crazy.