Iyla
November 22, 2010, 10:10pm
21
Re: How long after giving birth did you try again for another baby???
shaazy:
Hiyaaa
So how long after having your baby did you try for a second?
What is the least amount of time you should allow in between trying for abother baby, i.e how long do you need to give your body to recover before you can have another child??
I’m confused…I always used to think that i will give one-two years before trying for another baby, but now I just think its best to get them out of the way quickly, because 1) im not getting any younger and I want to be fairly young for when my children get older and 2)im worried that if i delay having another baby, allah may not give me another child. ofcourse, thats not set in stone, as its all down to kismat…
so what are your thoughts?
for those who have had a few children, what is your advise from your experience??? would you leave a smaller or longer gap in between if you could do it again???
I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer to this. Its totally up to the couples involved.
With one sibling I have a huge age gap and with another I have a small age gap etc - but we honestly don’t feel the age difference at all and I don’t think ever have really.
Some of my friends have had another baby straight after another to get it out of the way - which doesn’t ever happen cos’ you’ll be so tied up with them and busy forever anyway. Lol.
One of my cousins kept a 5 year gap and is expecting her 2nd baby soon, Inshallah. She says she kept the long gap because her and husband didn’t want another baby so soon and wanted to give their 1st child enough attention etc.
Iyla
November 22, 2010, 10:12pm
22
Re: How long after giving birth did you try again for another baby???
A lot of you are using the “they will be close/have a better relationship” if they have a smaller age gap as a motivation, but honestly, I think agegap has some, but very little impact on what kinda relationship you end up having with your siblings. I know plenty of people who are born just few years and months apart from each other and who have seriously crappy relationship because of jealousy, insecurities and competition during early childhood. Whether your kids end up having a fantastic relationship has little to do with the agegap and lots more to do with their personality etc etc.
Personally, my parents have had big agegaps (+5) and smaller agegaps (+1,5) as well. In our situation I am not so close with my sibling who is +5 because of personality issues, whereas my younger sister is very close to her sibling (+5 apart). On the other hand I am close to the those who are 1,5 and 6 yrs apart. In short, it really bottles down to the childs personality. So have your kids when you are ready, motivated and full energy. No kid wants a mother drained out of every ounche of energy seriously.
If I had to pick I guess I would like a 3 yrs age difference. Elder sibling will still be “the big one” and also able to have that “close relationship”
Totally agree!