How Islamic is the Pakistani Rishta Process?

[Deeba1234]

Re: How Islamic is the Pakistani Rishta Process?

@PyariCgudia

We talk about how haraam it is for girls and boys to mingle, rarely do you see masjids (only really in the West, that too SOME of them) hosting mixed events for men and women to mingle to meet each other. Usually, if it is done, it’s NOT at a masjid site, ironically. It’s at some local hotel, and the event costs people money to attend so poor-middle class can sometimes not afford these events (round trip tickets, hotel costs, plus event participation costs = $$).

So the process is still built heavily on matchmakers, aka rishta aunties.

What I’ve noticed is how the emphasis is on the person’s age, their education, their ethnic background, but there’s never a mention made of anyone’s personality, and decisions are made on pictures often.

Aren’t we supposed to avoid marrying for lust or money? Doesn’t the Quran tell us that?

Just look at the rishta thread in wedding. That’s all it is - stats on a person, nothing about who that person really is.

It’s much more similar to traditional Indian/Hindu culture.. In Islam the couple are supposed to see each other and make sure they’re ‘pleased’ with the other’s appearance.. that whole thing of seeing the person for the first time on the wedding day isn’t in our religion.. The parents aren’t allowed to just decide who we marry and we have to go along with it.. I’ve see posts in Islamic forums even now from Pakistani kids here in the UK asking if they’re allowed to say ‘no’ to their parents Also, it’s sunnah for the couple to exchange gifts, not act like they don’t exist because ‘people might talk’

Nothing wrong with talking before marriage in Islam as long as the couple aren’t alone.. again culture frowns on couples meeting even in public or with other family members there when they’re fine talking to other people of the opp gender on a daily basis for work etc. Isn’t it illogical?