How am I suppose to be during those 3 events? Do I place my head down and look at my fingers while people force ladoos and gulab jamun into my mouth during the mehndi partu?? The dulha is going to be there… can i speak to him while people feed us sweet?? oh my GOd i need help!! is it going to look “burhaaaaaa” if I TALK?? how does pakistani culture work??
someone told me that i need to look sad during the nikah!! is that true?? if yes, kyunnnnnnnnnnnnn?? should i shed a few tears too? llolol
and apprarently.. i can smile but that’s only during the wedding reception??
Re: How is the girl suppose to be in desi culture during
but if i start being myself the aunties that see me theyre going to be like "whats wrong with her , yaar??" nahi? im afraid that if i do something silly that theyll go to my mom and tell her yaar, whats this daughters of yours? my family on my mom side are so old fashionned! kia karoun :'(
Re: How is the girl suppose to be in desi culture during
but if i start being myself the aunties that see me theyre going to be like "whats wrong with her , yaar??" nahi? im afraid that if i do something silly that theyll go to my mom and tell her yaar, whats this daughters of yours? my family on my mom side are so old fashionned! kia karoun :'(
If your aunties run and complain to your mom...so what? You're a grown up who's about to become a man's wife right? Let your mom deal with the aunties. The only person you need to concerned about is your husband. You should talk to your fiance and see what his expectations are of you on the wedding day.
Your wedding days (all the festivities) should be happy occassion for you. Relax and be yourself. If you're comfortable just sitting there and looking at your lap then do that. If you want to look up and smile and talk to people (including your husband) then do that.
If you look through bridal pics on this forum, you'll find plenty of pics where the bride looks miserable....and I never understand why(unless they really are miserable that they're getting married to that guy!). Soo....assuming you're happy about this marriage....relax and enjoy and have fun! :)
Re: How is the girl suppose to be in desi culture during
i think ure referring to the modesty the bride is supposed to have...
i think it was more back in the old days that the bride would look down the whole time on her wedding stage and be petrified cos most times she was! she'd most likely never even seen the guy before that moment!
nowadays because most couples have met before at least a few times, the bride is more relaxed and can look up, smile and be herself...
as for what people think... who cares? its ure big day, do what makes u happy, if later ure gonna look at pics and be mad u were looking down the whole time then make sure u look and smile for some of them...
i've been to some really desi weddings and usually the level of modesty decreases throughout events, to be at an acceptable level for aunties to not b*tch abt you, for instance:
- mehndi, be simple, dont wear makeup, look down the whole time
- wedding - look gorgeous but be so shy that u cant look up cos u r soooo modest ;)
- valima - look around, smile, relax, u guys r married n have spent time together, yayyy!
personally, i'm going to look up so i can see everybody, talk to my husband and take lotssss of pics!
Re: How is the girl suppose to be in desi culture during
I think apko sad hony ki zrora nahe pary ge bcz jab NIKKAH hoga tu ap mai wo feelings hud he a jain ge its natural i dnt think soo k koi b larki yea sab sirf dekhawy k lie krte hai?
Re: How is the girl suppose to be in desi culture during
You dont have to act any way
Nowadays no one says anything …just dont laugh out loud too much
but you can smile and look around ..dont have to look down
If you are really worried about the family talking, just dont talk to the groom !!
Re: How is the girl suppose to be in desi culture during
I had always thought I won't look down during such ceremonies, but when I got engaged recently, and tried to look at the people, it was weird how everyone was looking at me :| so I decided to look at a flower in the carpet instead :D
However, I also need suggestion about laddoo's and gulab jamans, can't there be any alternatives? Like chocolates, fruits etc? Or does it HAVE to be mithai? I can't eat so much mithai :|
Re: How is the girl suppose to be in desi culture during
Lol, this reminds me of whn one of my closest friends got married. Whenever we were up on stage she would talk to us and giggle and her hubby would join in to. Her mum is a proper aunty-ji and kept giving my friend evils to look down and stop looking so happy!
Re: How is the girl suppose to be in desi culture during
To some extent, you're expected to play the part. As a non-desi, you want to "pass" , you want to show that you are not an alien and know how to behave. I got married in Pakistan 28 years ago, and my mother-in-law kept insisting that I not wear my glasses during the whole shebang, but I'm really blind and it was like looking at the world through bathroom glass. I had the make-up done (which I never wore/wear) and people don't even recognize me in the photos.
The main thing is to look beautiful, calm cool and collected, whether smiling or not. Like Princess Di. That's what you want to pull off. "Demure" - that's the word!
Oh - and if they are mixed functions, don't look any guys in the eye: considered bad form, flirtatious, and brazen. Definitely not how you want to start your marriage!
Re: How is the girl suppose to be in desi culture during
someone told me that i need to look sad during the nikah!! is that true?? if yes, kyunnnnnnnnnnnnn?? should i shed a few tears too? llolol
Again, I had always made fun of the brides crying at the time of their nikah or rukhsati, saying keh yeh to khushi ki baat hai...but now when my own time is approaching, the thought of leaving my home, my family makes me emotional...:|
