So nowadays I am seriously looking into our religion and have been learning so much.
So this made me question myself. How important is to look for religious aspect of your potential partner. So do honestly tell, are you really looking to get married to someone who is bit religious?. Do you find that quality attractive without going to extreme of course?.
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
i always wanted someone more religious than i am...i figured he'd keep me on the right track and encourage me towards religion...
if i had married someone less religious or equally religious, i'm afraid i would've been further away from religion, cuz my own iman isnt that strong.
plus i think as muslims...religion should be the number one criteria and sometimes the only criteria...there are lectures you can watch online that talk abt selectiion criteria for a potential spouse and a lot of scholars emphasize religion as the main one and sometimes the only one.
and i mean a truly religious person would have all the other qualities also..i dont mean someone just outwardly religious (like he prays five times a day, but he's ok with fraudulent activities as long as he doesnt get caught kinda guy..cuz there's plenty of those too)
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
My hubband prays more often that I do - he is VERY western in a lot of ways but the fact he is strict about prayer and has no shame in leaving a room to go and pray really attracted me to him!
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
Not important at all actually. Me and my fiance are on the same wavelength in terms of religion... We do it to appease our families and that's about it. I guess we're both very cynical and we have asked way too many questions that just get answered with "just do it, don't question it". I'm sure if I got involved with someone who was more religious it wouldn't have lasted, we would've butted heads quite often.
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
^
The irony of having '786' in your username even though you're fairly irreligious.
Tip: If you want answers seek the right place first.
Naturally, as someone who believes I would like a religious wife.
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
Religion is definitely very important to me. If he is too westernized or extremely religious, then it likely won't be a good match because the expectations from each other would clash.
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
After reading terebina's reply, I guess it's as important to you as much religious you yourself are. If you are not so religious being with a religious spouse will be very constraining for both of you.
For me religion has been the most and even the only important thing when choosing a prospective, and for a long long time I have been confused how can you really tell about the religious state of another person? There are people who pray five times a day, have long beards, wear hijab/niqab etc and still they're not really good Muslims, and on the other hand there are others who are not so religious looking in their outward appearance yet they're much better Muslims than those who pretend to be.
In the end I realized that the only thing that matters is how much the person fears Allah. He may not be very practicing, he may not even pray five times a day, but if he fears Allah in his heart, he will improve in his outward actions too, sooner or later. He may forget his duties and your rights, but when reminded, he will not be negligent, stubborn or egoistic.
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
To me, marrying someone with the same religion, means that I am marrying someone with a common interest (a huge one at that) and someone who wants the same lifestyle as me. I am muslim - if I married an antheist who drank and smoked for fun - and I didn't do that, we would just eventually end up drifting apart. Of corse, it is religiously instrusted to marry someone also Muslim - but its also important on that level as a personal choice.
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
Marrying based on compatibility is the most important. If you're religious, marry someone that's on par with you or at least in the same world. If you're spiritual, then the same thing. Marrying based on religion alone is a little absurd. Even the religion instructs to look at other matters, ie, beauty, wealth, family, etc.
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
‘786’ was something that was taught to me by my grandparents. It has no religious significance to me, but it holds a sentimental one and its an easy number to remember :halo:.
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
religion was important..the two key questions
1) which religion- was not concerned with sect or madhab or any other self inflicted divisions, although I found out the hard way that others were
2)approach to religion- balance was key, i.e. practicing and understanding, not sidelining it, nor just turning it into something suffocating
I found a good one
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
My husband is religious but I am not. Our views differ on several things when it comes to religious topics. For example, last time we had an argument because I had a terrible backache and I was taking medication for it. I was drinking water and he kept nagging, "drink it with your right hand, drink it with your right hand." I yelled at him and told him that I will drink the water however I like! God gave me two hands and I don't understand why he wouldn't want me to use both. This made him angry and we kept going back and forth. this kind of argument happens a lot when he tells me to do something at a completely wrong time and I don't want to.
Anyways, so in my opinion it does matter. Not just being the same religion but how compliant you are also.
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
religion would be a big factor for me. i pray regularly, am a good person i believe and fast etc etc. someone who doesnt incorporate namaaz in his lifestyle will be a no-no. i agree i may miss some prayers at times , but two ppl who practice Islam together will have a marriage filled with barakah.
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
My husband is religious but I am not. Our views differ on several things when it comes to religious topics. For example, last time we had an argument because I had a terrible backache and I was taking medication for it. I was drinking water and he kept nagging, "drink it with your right hand, drink it with your right hand." I yelled at him and told him that I will drink the water however I like! God gave me two hands and I don't understand why he wouldn't want me to use both. This made him angry and we kept going back and forth. this kind of argument happens a lot when he tells me to do something at a completely wrong time and I don't want to. Anyways, so in my opinion it does matter. Not just being the same religion but how compliant you are also.
There was a man who was eating with his left hand in front of rasool allah SAW and HE SAW told him to eat with his right, he refused, caught something like a stroke and had to eat with his left hand for the rest of his life. I am sure it mattered to him a little dont you think. Asking someone if he/she is religious is a western concept. Islamically, it doesn't make sense to ask someone that as religion defines your whole life, your sense of being and your existence. Asking a muslim if he/she is "religious" is like asking the grass if it's green. Sure muslims have different levels of tawa and eman, but how can you be a "non-religous" muslim? I don't know. Hey I do believe that allah sent us here to worship and obey him, and he created the universe and there is a heaven and hell waiting for us, I really do believe all of that but I am not "religious" lol does that make sense? It does only if you are muslim by name as you happen to be born in a musilm family and your parents named you aisha or muhammed. Sure there are athiest jews out there too.
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
It was important to me to marry someone who was Muslim however I have seen many marry someone that they thought were more religious than them because that is what they were told at the time of ristaa and then afterwards in one situation the husband would only pray Jummah.
For me it was a case of not marrying someone who was overly religious; but the reason for that was my Grandfather was such as person and I've noticed that the values he installed in his kids religion wise didn't treacle down to the boys which it quite disappointing for me. My aunts wear abayas and hijaabs (a few cover their face with the veil too) but my own Father doesn't even go near a Masjid even for someones Nikkah.
I wanted to marry someone on the same level as me so we could learn about religion together.
Saying that though, I wasn't exactly a party animal or extremely far away from religion to begin with.
I won't class myself as religious, I consider myself as a learner of religion. I think if I brand myself as religious there's an automatic assumption I know everything; which I don't.
How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
They say you should look for a partner who will bring progress in your life whether that be religiously or otherwise
Being close to religion is a good thing for me it's the spiritual closeness one feels to religion which is significant, meaning even if they do not fully practice religion in its true sense they have morals of right and wrong and a spiritual understanding of religion to keep them on the right line.
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
It's pretty much the deal breaker for me. He has to be a practising Muslim. Growing up, I have usually seen women to be more religious than men in most households and that just irks me. I don't want my kids to think it's okay if mamu, chachu, abu don't pray namaaz, as if it's only a woman's job to be namazi and parhaizgaar. And that's what I've seen in my extended family, that mardon ko bus Ramadan mein he ibadat yaad ati hai, baki sara saal chutti. I don't want this kind of a behaviour in my home. I'm not looking for a scholar but just a regular person who is balanced between deen and duniya.
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
exactly as Huma has said. I find the rules of religion lax generally for boys while the girls in the same household will be told to pray ,read quran etc .Parents always cite the excuse , larka hay ziddi hay and I don't get the doubble standards.
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
Everyone's level of Iman is different. I know mine was. I was very liberal guy. Would only pray Jummahs. But something happened in my life which made me thought of our religion. I remember I kept crying to Allah one night to help me in his path and that I had disobeyed him. I don't know if Allah forgave me but now at least I pray. I am saying all this because I realized that if I care about my family ( Not married yet) I need to improve myself first. Lets hope Allah forgives me. And give me pious spouse.
Re: How Important is Religion to you when choosing your prospect?
If it wasn't important than I would marry a Gori, much superior kind.