OK so i know that the trend to give or take jahez/dowry is slowly on the decline esp for families livin in the U.S.
my question was...does the topic ever come up after marriage? i mean, if u didn't bring jahez, did MIL or hubby ever mention it during arguments etc just to spite u or hold a grudge against u. if you brought too much, did it make a difference in how "impressed" your inlaws were with you or how much they appreciate you being their bahu?
i know this SHOULDN'T matter...but i just wanna know. my mom wants to give me alotta stuff...my in laws say they don't want anything at all n are being realllly nice about it. but i'm just wondering if it will ever come up afterward and if so, how?
Unfortunately, for me, it did come up. Not that my parents din't give like tonnes of stuff.... BUT there was only ONE thing missing.... Despite the fact that they said they have no demands.... they did tell me this several times k bed room set nahi diya.... humare yahan to bedroom set k bina to chalta hi nahi hai
Though I was NEVER gonna live there... I had to stay there for a maximum of 1.5months and moved back to the country I was living.... it did not make sense for them to give me a bedroom set at a place where I am not going to live.
Besides, they did give me $5000 in cash so my hubby and I could buy all the furniture of our own choice. And they knew it!! But still, my MIL & SIL had issues with it and taunted me several times... Plus they also put this thing into my hubby's head and he complained to me about it too!!
Except for a stupid bedroom set, there was every other single thing which is normally there in a girl's dowry.
I am a Memon and my hubby a Punjabi.
So we were not even aware of all their riwaajs. So my parents repeatedly asked them that please let us know frankly whatever riwaaj aur rasm you expect us to do. We are not aware of your traditions and rules so please let us know whatever you want and if we are forgetting anything, please tell us.
But they DID NOT tell my parents a word!!
When my MIL told me once about it, I said, aap se meri mom ne pehle poocha tha tab aap ne kyu nahi kaha? Ab kyu??
And she replies... Humare yahan maanga nahi jaata!!
Maanga nahi jaata my foot!!! If you are not asking for it... then why do you complain about it???!!!! :@ :@ :@
Moreover, my parents also gave me a plot in Karachi which they never considered. They gave me each and every single household item... all the cutlery all the kitchenware... clothes... bed sheet sets.... gold jewelry.. artificial jewelry... what not!!!
My mom gave my MIL & SIL a so very beautiful gold set each. My FIL & 3 younger BILS were given branded and super expensive watches (apart from the clothes for them and their whole khandaan)
But she did not refrain from poointing out a bed room set!!
If you are really lucky... then they wouldn't care... but if not... then you gotta be prepared for what all crap you may have to hear!!!