How important is it that,a girl should be asked before finalizing her rishta with anyone?I know,our religion says that a girl’s wishes should be known,and her marriage should be arranged only after knowing her consent.But,I know,some of the families and parents don’t think it necessary to ask for a girl’s consent.How right is it?What should a girl do regarding this?
Re: How important is it?
I think it's the most important thing for a marriage....I'll never marry if my parents dont ask me...I'll run away or somehting like that....jk...
Look itz the life of the girl so of course she should have the right to choose her hubby herself...or at least she should accept the rishta before her parents finalise it
Re: How important is it?
It is the MOST important thing! And because for some ridiculous reason it is not seen that way in so many Pakistani homes, it is the girl's **duty **to stand up for herself. She should not be shy, hesitant, and docile. She should not hide behind the veil of a shermeeli dulhan while her fate is being decided. Too many lives have been destroyed this way. SHE and HE are the ones that will need to live with this decision all their lives, not all the random relatives who like the sound of the match. She needs to be responsible for her future.
Re: How important is it?
Very. very. very. very. important.
Those families you’re speaking about waterfall, I’m not so sure if they still exist
Re: How important is it?
^ yes believe me,they still exist!
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everyone has and should be allowed to practice this right !!!
Re: How important is it?
Your parents can do anything and everything to bring you and another guy together BUT the final word belongs to you and no one else.
Be selfish and take this right otherwise you will forever regret not opening your mouth on time and saying NO.
It's very important to ask the children if they agree with a marriage. Parents sometimes think that their children don't know the world yet and won't make the right decisions, or sometimes the parents are influenced by family members, whatever the reasons are.
But it's wrong of course. It's easy to say that a girl should do something against it, when you're not in the same situation, because many girls have learnt to always obey parents and that good girls listen to everything their parents tell them to do. And many parents misuse their power over their children by saying that as they were the ones through whom the child was born, the child will have to marry the person she doesn't even want. Of course every child does something small once in a while which it isn't allowed to do. But when it comes to really disobbeying your parents in mayor issues, like a wedding, it's difficult when you're not used to doing that. Until it's too late.
For many girls it's not just that they aren't used to disobeying their parents in greater issues, but also fear. You just don't always know how your family will react to that.
It's not only the childs responsibility, it's also the responsibility of the parents. They should think how awful it would be for their child to have to live with someone she didn't want.
Parents make mistakes too in their lives. They should realise it and talk to their children about it. Trying to understand each other and admitting that they made a mistake. Parents are humans, despite the honour they have in Islam, they are still humans and shouldn't act as if they're some sort of gods, because they're not.
Re: How important is it?
I think the ones who're getting married should be asked (no **** sherlock). But its not just about ASKING them, they should be given a right to say NO if they'd like. Ive seen a couple of places where the whole process of "asking" the girl is done, but its not like the girl has any other option than nodding a yes. Which is really sad.
Straight_up yes they do exist! Would you like me to call forward my father and mother as witnesses? They married off my older sister without her consent!
Waterfall it's of the ultimate importance. Its more than a mere question to elicit a yes or a no response.
You should be provided with sufficient information to make the decision. The proposed spouse's positives and negatives. The implication of refusing. You should be shown alternatives. Given sufficient time to absorb the information and be able to change your mind. Be capable of making the decision (retain and understand the information given) and be under no pressure.
Re: How important is it?
I think without a girl's permission (or even guy for that matter), the marriage should not proceed. Granted it does not happen everywhere but ideally without consent a marriage should not take place.
Re: How important is it?
Families waterfall is talking about, do exist. I personally know of a family who has been marrying off their children without asking them if they agreed or not. It would've been better if they did, in that case their children wouldn't be in the state they're in now.
Asking her is her haqq. So she should stand up for herself and take that haqq. It's a decision about her life, so shouldn't she have a say in it? I can't emphasize enough on the importance of it. It** is **important!
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Time never changes, only people do. Kids today don't let it get to the point where parents ask about their yes or no. Kids tell their parents they have picked their life partner...
Re: How important is it?
I think its EXTREMELY important, because the girl is going to live her life not the parents! Its sad how some ppl still dnt realize it!
Re: How important is it?
umm if its YOUR wedding, your consent probably matters......just a little bit
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my dad dint think it was necessary 2 ask my sister
if she wanted 2 get married or not
so shes married n well not so happy
probably matters?:aq:
hmmm,exactly that’s what most of the parents still think that it’s not necessary to ask for the girls’ consents when it comes to marriages,and thats indeed a sad thing :hinna:
Ahhhhh deary tell your parents ask me in the begining. Tell it politely that it’s my right.
They should ask you first if you haven’t given them permission to find someone.