a degree is arite,
but expecting phds n all is superficial..
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by MehnazQ: *
I would rather be with somebody who I can converse with about various topics. **Having a degree doesn't necessarily make you smart.* I value world smarts as much as traditional education.
I've met quite a few "highly educated" idiots who are put on a pedastal by the community simply for the degree they hold. To me, they were idiots simply cause they knew nothing of the world outside of their field of study and Bollywood.
[/QUOTE]
I totally agree (especially the bold part)
To me being 'world smart' is definitely more important than holding I dont know how many degrees.
Ooh that’s sweet. Here’s someone who holds a bachelor’s degree but doesn’t know how to spell it. Need I say more? 
Waise I have two more for you: definitely and apparent.
intersting topic
I would go with Mads and Mina.
She has to have a bachelors degree :o but no engineering, cuz I have seen ‘dutch engineering ladies’ 
I dunno how they are in pakistan, but still 
. No other easy degrees, like art, or history, or archelogy specialt 
and also no for computer science unless she has studied that abroad and NOT in pakistan.
A doc or something like that, would be cool. :halo:
but, i dont feel like thinking about those things right now
ow and sorry about the spelling errors
I have to agree with Mehnaz. Degrees should never matter.
Mind you, one has to consider the dynamics of gender in this as well. In our culture many men would find it simple to get along with a less educated wife, while women that have pursued higher education may face difficulty in adjusting to life with a man that perhaps has only a high school diploma.
Having said all that, I will insist that this is a very personal choice and you really can't generalize to say one way will work while another will not. When a person makes the decision to marry, he/she makes certain compromises and what they prioritize is entirely up to them.
It is about genetics. Less ambitious people raise less ambitious kids. Having degrees from good schools means that there is inherent intelligence that got you there. How you utilize is different.
There is no questioning o whether the person who goes to Stanford is an intelligent person. The question one has to ask is how does one leverage that god given gift. Women and men who desire someone with equal or better educational pedigree should be commended. Similar educational backgrounds bring parity in decision making backed up by admiration of accomplishments in life. If I was a woman with a degree from an Ivy league school and was married of to a man from Lalloo Khet College of Desi Cooking, I would ensure right up front that the risk I am taking by marrying someone from not as good an educational background is mitigated by his agreement on me having the final say. In return, he gets to enjoy a lifestyle of learning on my behalf. 
Degree shouldn't matter.., but the reality is different out there. I am only talking from financial point of view.
But Muzna, our men accept because they are conditioned to do that. Plus, we should not loose sight of a very harsh reality and which is a woman, no matter how educated would accept a man and put up with his shenanigans and whatnot...a man no matter whether he is educated or not would not(i am not saying NEVER) like his wife getting ahead of him.
I have seen very educated yet insecure people.I would not mind marrying a person who is less educted than me but he should have faith in himself and should be a man enuff to mean what he says and have faith in the fact that his spouse isn't there to outdo him in any field but is there to support him.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Fayz: *
So, if I had to choose between a girl with a PhD versus someone with a lot of exposure…I will go with the later. Let me tell you..a girl with a lot of exposure like yourself is quite a hot cake no matter how much of a kali billi you are. :p
[/QUOTE]
Fays, care telling this to the mummy's of Pakistani men :p
Thankoo,
Haha! Well that’s a start…Some people have the exposure but don’t have the right personality (e.g. family values, a stable head or a rich father :-o) …my list goes on and on. Everyone would be single if they listen to me…
Apparently, you have some preconceived ideas about men as far as their egos and insecurities are concerned. I would recommend that you enter a relationship with an open mind rather than the stereotypes we are being fed.
As for ivy league speech …that’s a baloney…practical life is something different. Not all successful people graduated from Ivy league schools…infact some of them are dropouts who made the American dream come true.
^ there are ofcourse diamonds in the rough kiddo, but why get your pickaxe and toil away in sweaty mines of Africa, when you can just go to Tiffany's. :)
'
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Minerva: *
But Muzna, our men accept because they are conditioned to do that.
[/QUOTE]
Both men and women are conditioned to think/behave in certain patterns. Whether or not they break out of those barriers depends on how strong a character they possess and how independent of thought they are.
Men will still find it easier to adjust to a less educated spouse because of their inherent need/desire to lead in the couple.
More later.....
There is nothing more attractive than someone who is good at something he does, even if it's plumbing and he is only highschool educated :)
degrees don't matter to me, i honestly wouldnt even care if he didnt have one, as long as he is good at something and works on that talent, be it law or car mechanic.
as for how much he earns, as long as it's enough to keep us fed and clothed and sheltered. i don't want extra money, never did.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Minerva: *
a woman, no matter how educated would accept a man and put up with his shenanigans and whatnot...
[/QUOTE]
Can you explain what you mean by this comment? I don't think that I understand what you want to say.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Minerva: *
a man no matter whether he is educated or not would not(i am not saying NEVER) like his wife getting ahead of him.
[/QUOTE]
Again, gender dynamics comes into play. It takes an above average man to accept a wife that can outdo him in her career. I don't think this has anything to do with whether or not he is more or less educated than her.
It's only an issue if you make it one.
I've met plenty of overeducated morons and undereducated geniuses.
The more you focus on superficial things in deciding whom to marry the more disappointed you'll be when even after satisfying all the requirements of your bull**** checklist the person is still not the man/woman of your dreams.
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by waqas72: *
The more you focus on superficial things in deciding whom to marry the more disappointed you'll be when even after satisfying all the requirements of your bull*** checklist the person is still not the man/woman of your dreams.
[/QUOTE]
hear, hear!
^Ditto--better to focus on the motivation and the desire to work at a relationship rather then on the number of paper degrees a person carries around. A motivated social scientist is waaay better then a lazy super earning doctor.
Muzna, true they are able to break free and it takes someone of very strong character to do that. However, I wasn't generalizing. When I brought in that example, I was talking keeping in view the majority of Pakistanis and wasn't merely focusing on the urban middle or upper middle class. True, the trends are changing but majority of the women would rather compromise than wait to be declared outcasts.
If its just my opinion, then it wont be any different from yours but when you speak keeping in sight the way our Pakistani society is structured and the gender dynamics at play here, you need to be very realistic.
I might not have experienced it but i am old enough to observe and i have seen my very close friends suffer due to this. Interestingly, most of them chose people who weren't the best in terms of career/financial background/ethnic group( according to their parents) yet they wanted to go ahead with their decision. But in the end their parents prevailed. Whther they were of weak character, they weren't sure of themselves...I won't pass any judgment.
In the end for many people its what/how you feel about the other person and the fact whether you are at the same wavelenght or not...the degress amount to nothing.I once took a decision and refused to be bogged down by the cultural claptrap, whether i was characterless or a woman of strong character, I don't know but it sure has its consequences. So what I wrote might not make sense to you but it happens here, around me and in a supposedly educated and open minded society...
I dunno whether i make sense...I have a class...I 'll be back
i wud never marry a guy whos not more educated than me :halo:
dont ask me why 
jus feels weird :halo:
similar education se koee farq nahi parta:p
Minerva,
You do make sense.
If you broke free of barrriers then you obviously are an independent thinker. Unfortunately, you are in a minority. This means you will encounter obstacles more frequently than those that choose to follow the "norm", however twisted and unfair that norm may be. This will make your life complicated and sometimes, frustrating.
The good thing is that being an independent thinker and of strong character, you are better equipped to address the difficulties that life/society may throw your way.
Keep your chin up and your eyes towards the future. Have hope...nothing beats someone with hope.
I could care less about degrees and whatnot. I have seen many women supposedly medical doctors who I wouldn't trust to take care of my flu. On the other hand if a woman is confident and articulate enough to hold her own in a stimulating conversation on a topic other than fashion, music and food, I think she is educated enough.