How important is financial security?

[madz124]

Re: How important is financial security?

@aishah

My parents wanted to be assured that the person I end up marrying should be financially very well settled. But as they went ahead with the rishtas and all, they realized that all those guys who are well settled were always almost 8-10 years older than me and their families had such arrogant requirements. Their mums were so proud of what their sons have achieved and were seeking perfection. I am a pretty career oriented person but their mums wanted typical staying home bahus who will now focus on making families. Above all this, my mind clearly didn’t match. Many of them were so serious and uncle ish type lol.

Aww Aishah, yeah that does happen sometimes when there is too much of an age gap. I am not considering anyone more than 7 years older than me. And I don’t need the guy to be well-settled and steady in his career. But given his age and the opportunities he had, if I get the feeling that he is a bum or doesn’t have a good study/work ethic, that’s a turnoff for me. For example, a 33 year-old who came to North America in high school…at 33, if he is still at the bottom ladder of his chosen field and due to his own actions (not some act of God like a medical problem or accident), that to me doesn’t seem very promising…even if he is a great guy otherwise!

@Yasmine2

I humbly beg to differ on this point that education indicates his ability to be social…it’s not really education but innate personality, life experiences, & family culture that really make him who he is. Someone’s PhD or MD or JD doesn’t contribute to their EQ (emotional intelligence) or social abilities.

Completely agree!

@Yasmine2

I’d be happy to share these 100 questions list with you if you’d like.

Sure, please PM me. Thank you! =)

@Sara516

I respectfully disagree. I think it’s a myth that our culture falls into now that more educated = better person. Don’t get me wrong, I believe education is important, but that it solely responsible to make someone a better, all around person? No.

Just look at this guy:

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-and-relationships/599274-dr-douchebag.html

hehe, well said!

@Summerbr

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that it’s important what values and goals with relation to education and income your potential spouse (candidate) has and if these are up to your expectations. I don’t think the hard $ value of his income is as important. Someone with a good / great education who has a good work ethic and is honest and trustworthy is bound to make money in the long run.

You’re right, Summer. And I don’t have a hard $ value in mind. Desi people tu waise bhi jhoot bohut bolte hain. Hota kuch hai, aur bataate barh charh ke kuch aur hi hain. Can’t take their word for it. What I meant was exactly as you described… he has to have potential to do the same or better. And if he is indeed 1-7 years older than me (I’m 26), considering what stage of my career I’m at, I expect him to be at more or less the same level or higher in his field… unless there were some genuine extenuating circumstances that hindered his progress somewhere along the way.