I am attendending graduate school in a western country and I am around 26 years old pak. Peope in Pakistan tend to marry when they are like 24 years old. and hear I am 26 years old with couple more years to graduate and get married.
I can not get married because of financial problems, so I am thinking when I will be like 28 or so I will graduate and I will get married once I get a good job. yet the hormones are raging.
How hard is it for Muslim students in graduate school in their middle 20’s who come from traditional families to stay virgin until their marriage ?
Re: how hard is it to be a virgin in a western enviorment ?
PPl make it through pre teens, teens and than 20's without getting involved in these matters. Not just desis I have seen westreners do that too.
Best option if you can not get married right now is to get engagged or nikhhaed. & stay in touch with your spouse even if it is by phone or online etc. It has helped many people I know.
Re: how hard is it to be a virgin in a western enviorment ?
Well you’ve stayed a virgin for 26 years (okay 10 I guess, since I"m sure you didn’t get the “urges” at age 3), so a few more years won’t hurt. Just becuase the media portrays these countries to be one hedonistic party (thank you MTV and Hollywood), doesn’t mean that everyone here is so easy
Living in an environment where everything that is forbidden to you is readily available is a test of faith.. ultimately YOU are the one responsible and to blame the country you are living in for your sins just shows a weak imaan and a failure of that test..
Re: how hard is it to be a virgin in a western enviorment ?
Now thats one of the reasons that I don't want to leave my country. Pakistan, that is.
And you really think that these things do not happen in Pakistan? As mentioned by Mrs. Saeein, it's not the country one lives in, that is responsible for that kind of misbehaviour. It's the person himself/herself.
Re: how hard is it to be a virgin in a western enviorment ?
Exactly.
So many people I know (desi & non-desi) have chosen to remain virgins until marriage and have done so without much difficulty. It’s really not a big deal. It’s in your power to say no to what you don’t want to do. But don’t blame Western society if you go and do something that you had wanted to do all along. We’re given brains and a moral center for a reason.
Re: how hard is it to be a virgin in a western enviorment ?
it goes for young & single women and for men.
really, if you think of it sanely, it is up to you, whether you want to be someone's mere kissing board for an impulsive mistake that actually makes you change your whole perspective on the male female relationship , or have self respect to be honest with your ultimate life partner and be patient.
without committing, as a woman or a man, with another man or a woman, respectively, religious value and principle of being modest, and guarding your chastity and your own medical as well as emotional and psychological health, all are at a very bad stake.
choice is of course yours to have some body use you and you use that person, but flesh is nothing with out the integrity of the spirit.
you have to be transparent to your self as a woman or as a man.
and it is not west which can excite your hormones. it is quite the opposite, but under mockery's cover in the non western parts of the world.
if you are so desperate, you know it, that marriage and committing to someone is the right way to adopt. that is noble and it will help you grow in emotional and spirtual bonding with your spouse.
Re: how hard is it to be a virgin in a western enviorment ?
And you really think that these things do not happen in Pakistan? As mentioned by Mrs. Saeein, it's not the country one lives in, that is responsible for that kind of misbehaviour. It's the person himself/herself.
Re: how hard is it to be a virgin in a western enviorment ?
no self help? before people start telling me all the things wrong with what i said, you need to release some of those body fluids, if not you will get sick and then you’ll be sorry.
and sex is nothing, you want to make it special then fine so be it, its just in your head.
if i had a partner and she went and had sex with someone for the sake of sex. i wouldn’t have a problem with it, but if she went and kissed someone because she like/loved em other then lust, that would be a deal breaker.
Re: how hard is it to be a virgin in a western enviorment ?
And you really think that these things do not happen in Pakistan? As mentioned by Mrs. Saeein, it's not the country one lives in, that is responsible for that kind of misbehaviour. It's the person himself/herself.
Re: how hard is it to be a virgin in a western enviorment ?
I am attendending graduate school in a western country .......
How hard is it for Muslim students in graduate school in their middle 20's who come from traditional families to stay virgin until their marriage ?
Similarly, I also had my under-grad from pak and then did grad studies in the west. Yes, once u freshly come off the boat and see all the enticing scenes around you, it makes it difficult. My experience is if you let your eyes loose and go to the provocative places, it'd keep you disturbed. I kept myself to classes and lab; remained very busy to get degree faster. Praying regularly and doing zikr makes life much easier, try that. Another most important point is ur company; who do u live with and hang around. Try to avoid any provocative company ... good luck.
Re: how hard is it to be a virgin in a western enviorment ?
I know several people in the US-non desi who stayed virgins..girls AND guys. It's become "cool". For Desi girls it's pretty common.
I think it's not as hard as you think...most people get through it especially since alot of my non-desi friends "lost" their virginity to lose it..not bc they loved a guy..and once you've done that there's no stopping anything else. We have a nice excuse to wait. So for those of us who have grown up here..by grad school it's a choice you've defended for a while...not sure if you're from Pakistan what happens if you haven't had to deal with it before how yo ucan handle it.
Re: how hard is it to be a virgin in a western enviorment ?
in western countries, sex is not what people think it is back home. Its not in your face the whole day - there are no demons who appear and TELL you to have sex.... its your choice. Also if you have self control, you will be fine. Anyway, generally girls like to loose their virginity only to those they truely love and want to be with all life. If you wanna do it for the sake of doing it and to break your virginity, then thats your choice, i suppose.
