Is it farther the better for the sake of the marriage?
I’ve seen it mentioned a couple times here that the first 2 years of marriage should be completely devoted to the husband and in-laws but then is it also better to live an hour or more away from both sets of parents, for the sake of the marriage?
Re: How far away do you live from parents & in-law?
Farther from the parents, closer to the mistress.
Re: How far away do you live from parents & in-law?
We live within 20min of both of them. It hasn’t really impacted our marriage.
Are your in-laws or parents interfering?
Re: How far away do you live from parents & in-law?
Depends if you are dealing with interfering people then even if you are living in different countries it will impact your marriage. Your MIL or your mother can make daily calls to you to check out what you doing, what are you cooking, who came to your place, where you are going out, how much you spent on your shopping, in how much you have done your groceries and the list can go on. if MILs can’t ask all these directly from the DIL, then they have their sons to provide all this info and they do it in a way that sons don’t even feel that its interfering.
We live at 40 mins driving distance from Parents in law and 10 mins from my parents and no one is interfering.
Re: How far away do you live from parents & in-law?
The place of my parents, where my brother also lives, is a 15 minutes walk or 5 minute drive from our house. Being close to my parents was one of the criteria when we were looking for a house 4 years ago.
Her immediate family is mostly in Pakistan.
Re: How far away do you live from parents & in-law?
No, no one’s interfering. I’m not even married yet but want to see what would be best when I do get married. It’s usually assumed that one or both sets of parents tend to be too involved. “Papa’s princess” and “mama’s boy” and all.
Oh and do the parents from either side come over often in your situation?
Re: How far away do you live from parents & in-law?
There is no one size fits all approach when it comes to this kind of thing… you’ll honestly have to assess the situation when you’re in it and call the best play.
Re: How far away do you live from parents & in-law?
This is so true.
I know of a couple where the wife complains that her MIL has made her life hell with her bossy interference.
The couple is in Australia and the MIL is in Karachi and the interference is via Skype.
Re: How far away do you live from parents & in-law?
I think if it can be managed easily its good to live separately for a good 2 years of your married life.
Re: How far away do you live from parents & in-law?
How did you explain that to your parents though? Especially, if you’re very close to them.
I don’t mean interfering but is there privacy or is it an “Every body Loves Raymond” type of situation?
Re: How far away do you live from parents & in-law?
Both my parents passed away 9 years ago, so I’m pretty far away from them. When they were alive, my mother’s house was about 10 minutes away from mine, and my father was about 25 minutes away. My entire naniyal of about 50+ members are also within 10-20 minutes of my house.
Inlaws: husband’s eldest brother lives in the same city as us, about 25 minutes away. MIL splits her time between our city and her home in Pakistan. When she’s in the US, she mostly stays at my jait’s house. My husband also has a sister in Canada and another brother in Pakistan, so MIL’s time is divided between US, Canada & Pakistan.
My husband was closer to my family than his own in that his family is not very social and is pretty reserved while my family was pretty big and social with lots of get togethers and traditions so we naturally spend more time with them than with my inlaws
Re: How far away do you live from parents & in-law?
It depends on the person…its hard to understand for them sometimes but it can be done. Women have been doing it…leaving their parents behind for centuries. In this scenario, you’re just asking for some time to spend independently…not permanently.
Re: How far away do you live from parents & in-law?
Duplicate
Re: How far away do you live from parents & in-law?
My family and her family, both live around 13,000 Kms away from us.
Re: How far away do you live from parents & in-law?
For some DILs, the only good MIL is a dead MIL.
Re: How far away do you live from parents & in-law?
It’s not an “Everybody loves Raymond” situation. It’s not like we live next door.
Unless we have other plans, Friday evenings are usually spent at my parent’s place. And sometimes they would visit us during the week too. So I see them twice or three times a week. At most.
Re: How far away do you live from parents & in-law?
Not married yet but my future in laws live at a walking distance 
They are not intrusive at all and are busy with their own lives, travelling most of the time. Plus i genuinely like them so i dont mind. I think i would have more of an issue if my in laws were living far away but were intrusive. Coz all it takes is one phone call.