your friend at one time due to some fairly good reasons (unnecessarily) distances from/avoids you and nearly deserts you…and then after some time tells you that now he/she regrets and is guilty for what he/she did to you ‘only’ because he/she has now been avoided and deserted by the person he/she was in love with for the same reasons:vivo:
what does this say about the friendship and how fair is it on the other friend?
i mean if this friend wasnt avoided/deserted by his/her lover then there would be no regrets and no guilt, and the friendship would have been at the same distant level…
the friend who got distant would never have realised what his/her mistake was and would have always thought tht what they did was right?
well maybe she learnt her lesson and realized what she did was not right. In that case, give her a benefit of the doubt. but keep your guard up as well.
Sanafooz, I can understand that you're feeling hurt/offended. But I agree with Sara.
Your friend learned his/her lesson........the hard way.....but learned nevertheless. Some people never learn, and even if they do, they let their pride get in the way of admitting it. And if your friend was able to apologize to you, keep in mind that saying sorry is impossible for some people to do because their egos won't allow them. It takes courage to do this.
If this was a friendship that you really valued, then consider forgiving the person. So many people hold on to grudges........show your friend that there are people in this world who have a big enough heart to realize that everyone makes mistakes and have the capacity to forgive. This can serve as guidance/lesson/inspiration for your friend. So, try to forgive. If you feel that you can't rush into the friendship because you've lost some trust....then take it slowly. Or if it's impossible for you to maintain ties, then forgive, but maintain a polite distance.
thanks sara for the advice (and explaining the post to RV, it’d have been difficult for me to explain it:phati:)
and thanks RV…
i dnt have a grudge or anyhting against my friend but well…the way things turned out i think this friend doesnt truly value our friendship, or something like tht..or am i wrong?
maybe...my friend did tell me that...and that how much time we've lost instead of spending it together and all....
but then how do i know it's genuine...well it could be genuine but maybe after this phase is over ie the depressive effects of the break-up with the lover are gone...wont she change then?...she's here only because there's no one else to turn to?
i dnt mind helping her in anyway but shd i take this friendship as seriously/deeply as before or is it prudent to maintain a polite distance as RV suggested?
^ U won't know if its sincere until you do spend itme with her and find out....
I think you should make effort to be a friend to her...but not with the same amount of trust that u had placed in her before everything happened...so not keep a distance, but still make an effort...but dont get so emotinoally invested..u know what i mean
i think i’ll do that…
urm together with tht, would it be mean if i told her tht she’s a traitor, tht she broke my trust or something along these lines? or should i just forget what happened…
Screw him or her. Someone who walks away from you in your time of need may learn their lesson, but if they have done it once they will do it again. True friends stand by you through thick and thin. They don't avoid you.
If she avoided you for whatever reason and did not come back to you as a friend when the matter was sorted, well then what value his her friendship?
so from the replies i get it that am not exaggerating things and that this friend of mine really did a very wrong thing…and the right thing to do is keep my distance and dont count on her for any help in the future…sorted now:k:
RV, your conclusions are too perfect, if you should 've been charging for your pro advises… by now you would have been sitting on a bank…