Alcoholism affects not only the drinker but those around him as well. If an alcoholic is in an intimate relationship or marriage the effects can be particularly devastating to both parties. Often the alcoholic will deny that the drinking is a problem in the relationship and his partner will not know how to help him. As long as the drinking continues, relationship problems continue to build and often destroy the relationship altogether.
Intimacy
Alcoholism can cause males to experience impotence, low libido and over the long term even sterility, because excessive consumption lowers the production of testosterone. In addition, the sober person in the couple often lacks the desire to engage in sexual activity with their drinking partner.
Heavy drinking keeps a couple from being able to maintain a connected relationship. Lying frequently becomes an issue for an alcoholic and this breaks down the emotional trust between partners. Problem drinkers may also experience blackouts or loss of memory that causes conflict between the partners because the drinker does not remember what she has revealed or inflicted upon her partner during a binge.
Alcoholism severely infringes on a couple’s time together. Whether the drinker imbibes at home or at a bar, quality time between the partners becomes limited and much time is spent by the drinker either being drunk or recovering from a binge.
Excessive alcohol consumption can significantly alter the behavior of even the most gentle person, leading to verbal and sometimes physical aggression against a partner. He may not acknowledge or even remember these incidents but the victim is permanently affected by the experience and may even come to fear the alcoholic partner.
Alcohol costs money and the alcoholic’s partner is typically the one who has to deal with the problems created by excessive purchase and consumption of alcohol. If the non-drinking partner is the breadwinner there may be severe feelings of resentment that she is working hard and supporting her partner’s destructive habit. Lying and money go hand in hand as the alcoholic partner often lies to cover up where the money went.
At first those close to the alcoholic may try to help him; however as time goes on he finds his relationships with family, friends and co-workers become strained and more distant. It is difficult to keep the problem a secret and the drinker’s behavior causes others to keep him at arm’s length.