How does a 'halal' date take place ?

[S02]

Re: How does a ‘halal’ date take place ?

@BlueBells

‘halal date’/ going out to meet a potential spouse/ meeting/ pootatoes/potaaatoes/pekora/samosa:P
… who cares about the terminology? Looking at the responses, I think majority of these ‘wankers’ already know they can’t go out just for the fun of it or they find themselves fancying someone and want to have a good time with them without the intention of marriage.
There is NOTHING wrong with seeing someone after knowing that both have the intention of getting married and want a few things clarified to make sure its a compatible match or not. Yes granted it’s done in a proper manner where a third person is involved in the process. **I don’t really see how going out bowling or seeing a movie can help with determining that but nothing wrong in meeting in a public place, masjid, parent’s living room, coffee shop etc., as long as there is a third person so it doesn’t lead up to flirting, talking about things that aren’t related to the marriage process itself. I remember an Imaam saying that it should be very much like a business meeting. **You know what you’re bringing to the table, see if it matches up to the client’s expectations and what your expectations are from it, keep it very serious and formal and if it doesn’t work out. Thats it. You move on. Who cares about what people want to call it! as long as you’re doing what’s right and knowing you’re doing it according to what’s allowed in Islam.
What would really bother me is for someone to say they date (the real kind?) while knowing they’re bending and breaking the rules but are okay with it because at the end of the day its about you convincing yourself that you’re happy with what you did (now I’m really risking the wrath of many loyals who are in such high reverence of this guy I’m quoting) but anyway, if you want to do this right you need to ask yourself if what you did is what would please ALLAH. If you went out with this girl, were your intentions right? did you make sure you avoided any leg room for sins even though nothing happened. Did you make sure you did your best to avoid it. The end doesn’t justify the means. You can’t tweak the system around!

WHO gives a biscuit about what it’s called.

The thing is marriage is NOT a business relationship. There are a lot of things that you do for each other that have nothing to do with profits and gains. It’s not clear cut and dry like that. Find a partner for life is important, otherwise marriage can be an incredibly lonely institution, and it is for many.

I’m not talking about physical contact and sexual relations. I’m talking about understanding each other’s sense of humor, getting a sense of weaknesses and strenghs, interests, how you will balance each other and fulfill each other. I know that can’t be found it in a few meetings, but things like bowling or other activities, sometimes in groups, give you a chance to see each other from different perspectives. My feeling is that there is nothing wrong with that. But perhaps I’m a silly little coconut who has fallen too far from her palm tree.