Ok, so I’ve seen this quite a lot with a few people I know, so thought I would pose the question on here and see what others think.
Quite often we portray ourselves in a very positive light in front of others. We are kind, polite, and generally rather sociable.
As ‘they’ say we often treat those closest to us the worst. For example you’re having an off day so you end up taking it out on your wife/husband/other half. Or you need to vent some frustration so end up shouting in front of them etc…
However this person may be the one you love the most in the world. Why is it then that some people will treat a complete stranger with the utmost respect and dignity but will can be so harsh and cruel to their significant other?
One could argue that they see you in all your glory - good times and bad times, so for those reasons you are able to be free around them and behave in the way that comes naturally to you.
^ exactly. if i cannot show my bad side to my husband or friends, then what good are they? the ones who love you are supposed to bear ur bad side as well.
Ok, so I've seen this quite a lot with a few people I know, so thought I would pose the question on here and see what others think.
Quite often we portray ourselves in a very positive light in front of others. We are kind, polite, and generally rather sociable.
As 'they' say we often treat those closest to us the worst. For example you're having an off day so you end up taking it out on your wife/husband/other half. Or you need to vent some frustration so end up shouting in front of them etc...
However this person may be the one you love the most in the world. Why is it then that some people will treat a complete stranger with the utmost respect and dignity but will can be so harsh and cruel to their significant other?
One could argue that they see you in all your glory - good times and bad times, so for those reasons you are able to be free around them and behave in the way that comes naturally to you.
Well if my husband can't handle me at my worst, he certainly doesn't deserve me at my best!
The people you're closest too are the ones you take out your frustrations on.
because your spouse understands (and loves) you a lot, you can afford the luxury of getting harsh but with strangers, there might be no 2nd chance as they are the case of "first impression is the last impression" but in husband/wife (and other close) relationships, first impression is almost the false impression.
For example my wife has lose temper but she never keeps it in her heart and if she is at fault she realizes that in next 20/30 min, she comes back, say sorry (yes it needs courage to say sorry..this is the hardest thing) and gives me BIG hug now with stranger she might not have those 20/30 min so she tries to be as nice as she can and control her temper :)
well strangers will only ever see one side to you, with your nearest and dearest, you're yourself and they know all your sides, and so we are comfortable enough with these people to be mean to them lol. its true what they say about hurting the ones you love and vice versa.
Personally I believe that venting your frustrations and anger at your spouse is a recipe for an eventual disaster. You can and probably should share your problems, frustrations with your spouse but in no way is one justified in treating the spouse crappily just cuz they are insecure or had a bout of bad luck. Whats worse is that they may not understand that you are merely channeling your anger, and they may get get hurt or resentful which will screw up things way more.
Some interesting points here. I agree that resentment can build up if you're constantly taking things out on your other half and acting like butter wouldn't melt in front of others.
^ awwww, well you should go and find her then! She's probably waiting for her prince charming!
raanii ko mahaa raanii banaane kaa fan [art] bhii mujhe aataa hai, mashaa Allah :) meriii ammi jab tak Hayaat thiiN unko abbu ziyaada tar malka [queen] kahte the magar kabhi kabhi jab mooD meN hote to malka-e-'aaliyah [mahaa raanii] bhii kahte the...i was only 9 when she passed away so i have just a faint recollection.