this provides a good insight. Thank you Reha for sharing this with us. Just a small note to that, dont fire away questions as a list, go with the discussion, and come back, fill in answers you get. Later ask the ones which have been left and you think are important, directly.
I recently got engaged to a guy, who shares couple of attributes with me, we both are eldest in our sibs, we have a big ‘say’ in our family’s day to day OR critical decisions.
We had gotten together for (so called) halal dates, after the first meet up in our home. After the first one we met three times, for three consecutive days, this was not initial plan, but it just happened. He stayed at hotel, for enitre duration. He lead the discussion, summary for three and half days would be like this.
He was of the opinion, that poeple should marry for what they are, not what they will be, or what they can be, through better half’s expectations. He was very clear that we should be very truthful if we want things to go in right direction, otherwise in his observation, things fall apart in people’s lives. he did tell me, it’s not easy considering someone like that and meeting someone face to face, ensured it’s hard for him equally, and advised me to take it easy, things will go in correct way, he thanked me before leaving. This was first meet up, at our house, we had this discussion, in our lawn for five minutes. his family had accompanied him that day. and then they left the same day, while he stayed back.
all the other meetups were in form of the discussion, my younger (married sister) had accompanied me, we met outisde.
He came out with idea, that it has to start some way, so one of us, have to do ‘tell all’ for their side, what their expectations are, how their lives have been etc… he lead and did something interesting. He said he’ll begin with whats bad about him, what the challenges have been and will be in his life, rest of the stuff isnt that bad, and I can decide myself, if compatibility is there, and then I’d begin with my side. he was more than fair and confident in his elaboration. he explained and revealed parts of his life, its usually hard for a human to do.
Next day, mostly it was me. we sat in visible isolation and took casual strolls, first two lasted about two-three hours.
He was good in floating the discussion ahead, he almost made me laugh hard (i controlled it always, with the simple smile)
third day, it was almost half an hour. He did declare, he would be lucky to have me and if i consent, he would like to ask my hand formally to my parents. that one ride back to my home, was the most difficult one ever, I wanted to jump on bed, dance, i dont know what! first person i told this was, my mother.
I did the istikhara, and I prayed to God, please make it good through this one. and God did listen to the prayer.
Then came a phase, in our lives, both of us started acting like kids, we got enaged (again not initial plan) we did, we misused the power we have in our homes 
**and let me tell you, violins are real! **Standing next him shoulder to shoulder, its feeling i can not explain, you feel complete. People who’ve been there, know what I am talking about.
To let you all in on a secret, I had fallen for him, on first day, it was really hard, keeping that ‘falling for’ feeling aside, and not allowing it to manipulate the thoughts which were going to be exchanged in upcoming meet ups.
Since our engagement, every morning, when I wake up, I thank God, for giving me so much, I really have no idea, what did I do to desrve this!
it all happened very fast, i had not anticipated any thing like, this might very unconventioanal pakistani rishta-engagement, but it worked for us. What most people will miss in this topic is, parents have a big part to play in for their sons and daughters.