After becoming the parents of 4 years old handsome boy and 6 months old pretty princes, how do you guys take time out of each other?
Looks like we are getting bogged down into everyday routine so badly that we hardly get time out to even talk to each other (ok exaggerating a bit but still!!). How often you guys go out on romantic dinners? Or long drive? Do you leave the kids with friend? (Which for some reasons, we always feel bad about)
Re: How do you guys get time out for self?
with the twins, we have not really had much time to ourselves, but thats okay for now. we do make it a point to spend time together after the kids are asleep, they are asleep by 8:30 and we have the next 2-2:30 hours just t hang out.
so no romantic dinners, we have gone out a few times with the kids and it has been okay but they have been more family friendly places, or we go a little early, ask to be seated in a far corner etc.
The first time we wanted to go out for dinner kids were sleepy and cranky so we decided to do a take away instead, this is when they had just arrived, and were settling in so would wake up in the middle of the night and cry if they dont see us, so we were sitting in the hallway outside our room, eating out of takeout boxes.
actually reminds me of when we ordered room service the first time, they were asleep, we were very very very quiet as we ate :)
as they grow up we would def have to make some arrangements to do things on our own, with no close relatives in the city it would have to be friends, lets see
and dont feel guilty, u need time as a couple, and u need time as an individual. you have to feel fulfilled in other aspects of your life too, not just your family life of parental role.
Re: How do you guys get time out for self?
^^ thats why i posted this. Actually these days my family is visiting Pakistan and although we made plans to have a romantic dinner a night before they left but we ended up eating in takeout boxes in our living room, with all the boxes and suitcases around (basically TRASH around ).
I was just wondering if thats only us or..?
Re: How do you guys get time out for self?
We used to live far from our family as well. And it was hard to go out alone, since we didn't trust any ajnabi babysitters. Sometimes, if my mom was visiting us, she'd encourage us to go out on a date night while she watched the kids at our home. I really appreciated her thoughtfulness for us. If you have good friends in the area, maybe you can have an arrangement with them where they watch your kids once a month so you two can go out, and then you can watch their kids while they go out.
Re: How do you guys get time out for self?
Try asking good friends, coworkers, or close neighbors for babysitter recommendations. Also the Red Cross and local hospitals have babysitter training programs, and sometimes they can post your name and let people know that you are looking. It's just the same as hiring a nanny or au pair - check the references carefully, make sure that they have been certified in CPR, etc.
Our babysitter is the neice of our next door neighbor, a college student majoring in Elementary Education, and fantastic with our kids. She does lots of crafts and things that I normally wouldn't do.
We try to get out at least twice a month.
Another idea is to put the kids to bed earlier than you normally do, or better yet, enforce strict bedtimes for them so that you and your husband get time to spend at night before bed. I know that a lot of younger desi kids go to bed at the same time as their parents, but small children really need about 12 hours of sleep, and it's a great chance for you to relax in the evening.
Re: How do you guys get time out for self?
Wow, is it that hectic after kids? :( It should be fine though, getting good tips on how to find time for me and my husband as well...but maybe not until baby is settled......hmm....you live you learn :)
Re: How do you guys get time out for self?
Mine are age 5, 4 and 2. I had a bit of time off when I went to the hospital for deliveries but once we had our first, we never went anywhere without them. Its hard here, thats for sure. No family close by and no household help. But this is something we anticipated and accepted fully. Today, for the very first time, all 3 of my littles went to school and I had 2 hours ALL to myself! I didnt know what to do with meself!
Re: How do you guys get time out for self?
Congratulations Mama... I could imagine that is an odd feeling, of having an empty house even for a couple hours. I used to laugh at that "Calgon take me way" commercial when I was younger. But now it all makes perfect sense. Unfortunately even in the bathroom there is no quiet or privacy. The kids just keep knocking on the door and yelling, "Mamma, mamma."
Re: How do you guys get time out for self?
Its not bad, you get used to it, kids get used to it, but I mean there is time and effort, whether it is the chores or whether it is spending quality time with the kid.
my estimates of time are based on begum and I both sharing the load and andling one kid each.
morning-milk, fill bottle, feed kid, hopefully they hold the bottle and u dont have to hold it, otherwise 10 mins
breakfast- make, feed- 20 mins
Nap- if the kid needs to be with you to fall asleep- 10-15 mins (hopefully)
snack- 10 mins
lunch- 20 mins
nap- again 10-15 mins
dinner- 20 mins
snack 10 mins
bath and change- 10 minutes
bedtime- 20 mins
diaper changes-
4 times a day X 5 mins = 20 mins (times 2 is 40 mins)
That is about 3 hours total.
add in a couple of hours to play and thats 5 hours.
the days kids are at daycare we do less, because aside from morning milk, diaper and change, we dont do anything until dinner time really.
babies take a lot of time, as they grow older they can have more independent play time where they do their own thing more.
do my estimates look correct, or do you guys have very diff times