Needless to say, Spiral, every family is different. Parents raise their children differently. And this pampering is more common with sons than daughters in desi families because as a culture, sons are more favored. So, it's not altogether unusual to see such "babying" or "spoiling" of sons in desi culture. That doesn't mean that this is the reason why your in-laws spoil your husband. It could very well be that he is simply their favorite child. Or perhaps, his parents treat all their children like that.
Look, your in-laws have been raising your husband in this manner for 30 years. They're not going to change. And your husband has behaved in this manner toward them for 30 years. That's not going to change either. It's not like you see his parents all the time, so it's not a constant headache for you.
As far as the issue of him sharing marital problems with his parents is concerned, then talk to him about it. Try a non-defensive tone. Praise him for the relationship he has with his parents. Praise him and parents for their positive qualities.....and then proceed to tell him that you'd appreciate if he did not discuss marital concerns with his parents and explain why it makes you feel uncomfortable without blaming him or sounding defensive. Explain your concerns to him using ISLAMIC REFERENCES such as hadith about marital relationships. Explain that a wife has rights over her husband and that a couple is like a garment for each other. And a** "garment"** provides protection, comfort, and it conceals from shame or exposure. And revealing problems you have with your wife to parents is like like exposing your spouse and it's a uncomfortable situation for the other party. Explain with religious reference and see if that doesn't make a difference.
And while his parents are cooking and bandaging him...........you can take a break ;)
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wow. amazing advice. **