how do you differentiate between a pakistani and an indian?

[farrah]

@queer

i miss moin.ul.atiq. he is your man on this topic. but since he is busy with his physics laboratory in multan, i’ll try to summarize his findings.

there are three methods available to us.

1. first and less intrusive method - hold a light meter next to said person’s face. pakistani chehras have noor, indian ones dont. (this method is often employed to identify indian spies in pakistan, especially if their shalwar’s naara is too tight.)

2. this is a more friendly test. with your index finger, poke subject in left buttock. if your finger hits bone in the first inch or two, definitely indian. if your fist has vanished and still no sign of bone, definitely pakistani. the downside to this test is the large ambiguity in the test space. this test is usually administered in crowded desi gatherings.

3. genetic test. devised by colonel imam. kinda expensive, but 99.9% foolproof. look at subject’s nose-hair under a microscope. pakistanis chromosomes line up to spell “Allah”, especially around azan time. indian chromosomes look like dollar signs, monkeys, and sometimes rats.

hope this helps you in your noble endeavor, farrah.

i have to try one of these … come on people! poll! which one shold i do?