Most of us on the forums live in the West, where we regularly work with the opposite sex. I’m asking from a simple lifestyle perspective, not a philosophical one. Since I try to follow Islam as much as I can, I’m asking in this forum.
When you work as much as I do, spending approximately 2-3 nights in the hospital along with long day hours- you end up spending a lot of that time with coworkers, most of whom are smart, intelligent and kind people. I do put up numerous barriers given that I’m a hijabi and I almost always mention the fact that I don’t date but on the other hand, I’m very social and playful by nature. That’s just something that I feel like I can’t control.
I want to know how you deal with such situations in the workplace, when you or another coworker is attracted to you? Esp. when you don’t have any other “relationship” going on because you always wanted to wait till you’re married/engaged?!
P.S. I realize that this is not explained very well. I suck at expressing via writing.
I guess you know your limits and don't let others cross those limits. I was faced with similar situation and ended up giving up the job, though I was married and there was no flirtation involved but I was young and didn't know how to respond to a senior colleague who wanted to teach me snooker so I just left my job but I wish I had the confidence to tell him off.
**you said you follow Islam as much as you can...what do you mean by that? there are boundaries in Islam and you are forbidden to cross those lines and you are also advised NOT to even HOVER around the grey area. May I ask you if you meant that you have crossed the line [in minor to moderate issues]?
the thing is that you have to stay within the boundaries of Islam which is very clearly defined when it comes to Halaal and haraam. there is no place for practicing/devout Muslim men and women to entertain attractions and infatuations. This is why every Muslim man and woman is encouraged to marry and marry early as soon as one can afford...indeed, one has to eb reasonable with affordability.
you can't sail in two boats...i.e., be a religious person and flirt around at the same time.
**
Hareem- thank you. I can't leave and I do have the confidence to tell people off when I need to. So I guess I'm okay in that department for now, but I hate the awkwardness that usually follows. :(
Khalil- there are no boundaries being crossed here, no one's flirting and no one's claiming to be a religious person. I follow as much as I can, and Alhamdulillah I'm happy with myself- although I'm sure I can improve. Thanks for your response.
Khalil- there are no boundaries being crossed here, no one's flirting and no one's claiming to be a religious person. I follow as much as I can, and Alhamdulillah I'm happy with myself- although I'm sure I can improve. Thanks for your response.
welcome and thank you :) wish u all the best :)
I can understand one can be in a awkward position but to be honest you know your limits your in control and I don't think there is anything to be worried about...However, you're single so If you like someone then there are proper ways of doing things. :)
^well i'm not doing anything since they're not muslim, but it's the awkwardness that kills me- esp. when you HAVE to work with them for such long periods of time.
According to me, there are two situations, one is the formal environment in which you must have to interact, because thats your duty to deal, and interact,, the second is some thing informal, i wont go with them, i will say against them, that would be totally against of Islam,,,,
Could it be your playful nature? Not to tell off or anything, but maybe, if you just keep it professional with the men in your work area, I'm sure they'll get the message.
Just do your business and leave. Don't stick around, InshaAllah.
Also, don't be afraid to tell them staright out who you are, what your beliefs are. Be assertive. Even non-muslims will respect that you are a pious Muslimah. Alhamdulillah.
Just stick to professionalism and they'll get the message :) I'v experienced that non-Muslim and esp. what is construed as "Western" people tend to respect the beliefs and boundaries of individuals more so than the "desi" people, sadly. At least thats what its like in the states, cant say for all western countries.
in such environment if you don't want these thing, you just need to have interaction with your coworkers regarding your official work in formal way,,, you can talk with them, if not possible not to talk,,, just follow the formal way, and don't go with informal relation...
Most of us on the forums live in the West, where we regularly work with the opposite sex. I'm asking from a simple lifestyle perspective, not a philosophical one. Since I try to follow Islam as much as I can, I'm asking in this forum.
When you work as much as I do, spending approximately 2-3 nights in the hospital along with long day hours- you end up spending a lot of that time with coworkers, most of whom are smart, intelligent and kind people. I do put up numerous barriers given that I'm a hijabi and I almost always mention the fact that I don't date but on the other hand, I'm very social and playful by nature. That's just something that I feel like I can't control.
I want to know how you deal with such situations in the workplace, when you or another coworker is attracted to you? Esp. when you don't have any other "relationship" going on because you always wanted to wait till you're married/engaged?!
P.S. I realize that this is not explained very well. I suck at expressing via writing.
Peace Safoora
I'm going to be quite straightforward about this ... The playful things will occur ... you just need to be aware of certain things and do certain things that will protect you inshaAllah. Start your day with Surah Yasin ... and pray salat on time (if you are not already doing so) these will help because of course being in a state of wudu and focussing on the next prayer even whilst in the middle of play time then it will by itself break up a situation that could fester into something else.
Nene- that's true, but i know I'm professional enough.
Kaaf- you're right, it's the playfulness. The thing is, I feel like people think hijabis are too stuck-up and I don't want them to think like that. Besides, I won't work well if I'm not comfortable with someone and my playfulness is me being comfortable. Also, I can be formal if it were a 8-10 hr/day job, but being formal for the length of time required of me right now- is tiring and quite honestly, not possible for me.
Psyah- thank you, I pray on time Alhamdulillah and its probably what saves me the most. I'll try starting my day with a surah as well, JazakAllah khair!
Remembering Allah at all times will help you stay away from all sort of fitna. I know you're working full time with long hours, but remember the golden rule of Islam about our gaze and modesty. Inshallah since you have worry in your heart for such things, Allah will protect you from such
In addition to above, fasting is best solution too. Fasting prevent us from such desires and takes control over our wills. Also, you can do zikar like **La Ilaha Illlah **and/or **Astagfarullah **as much as you can.
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