We all have scars from past pain whether it is a past friend or family member. The pain they have inflicted on you was on a grand scale and too many times in the past.
You have to see them for public events and they do need to be attended by you so what do you tell yourself so you can act to avoid any awkwardness?
Re: How do you act around someone that has hurt you badly several times?
some1 plz answer to that cz i hav ppl in my immediate family who give scars that i thnk ll last a lifetime.but for the sake of family and all i hav to meet wid them see them
Re: How do you act around someone that has hurt you badly several times?
As the cliche goes, you are born into a family while u choose ur friends. Just because someone is ur relative does not mean that someone (or plural ) is a good and trustworthy person. For future reference - don’t let a person hurt u multiple times as mentioned in op. After the 1st couple of times, don’t let them do that to you. Take control.
Behave with such jerks professionally - just as u would at work or school or university. Be polite. Excuse urself after brief chat. Done let the enemy see u sweat. Don’t let other relatives get their cheap thrill by losing ur cool in bhari sabha.
Don’t give others power to hurt u repeatedly.
Re: How do you act around someone that has hurt you badly several times?
^Nalla vellai :k:
Re: How do you act around someone that has hurt you badly several times?
OP Ive gone through the same situation it’s really hard but for the sake of “dunia Dari” I always had to meet them with smiling face in public gatherings… BUT what I have learnt from my life, I came to know that if people hurt u many times, actually ALLAH swt has given u an oppurtunity to get the reward for forgiving them for ALLAH’s sake.. Beleive me once u have forgotten n forgiven all the scars people have given u for ALLAH’s sake u will find it easy.. May Allah Tala help u. Ameen
Re: How do you act around someone that has hurt you badly several times?
walk away…don’t be around them
Re: How do you act around someone that has hurt you badly several times?
The best revenge is massive success
Re: How do you act around someone that has hurt you badly several times?
^^What Reha said!. The best revenge is transforming negativity into positive and focus on your happiness. And then when you face them..don’t let loose your cool..be polite but be firm. And try to let it go, sincerely pray for them and forgive for Allah.
Re: How do you act around someone that has hurt you badly several times?
^Xtron, Reha, hugs I am doing much much better in life because I have a career that I love even if i’m not making a 100k a year(Not even close) because I don’t have much experience but if I look back to 3 years ago, I was a ghost almost half dead in total hell…life is 100 times better even if it’s still very hard.
I have to attend these events because they are hosted by a group that is very close to my family members but unfortunately this person might also come and I’ve missed so many of these events and missed seeing my little family members grow up without me being there. It’s been two years now since I walked away from this person’s abuse and drama and the wounds unfortunately are still fresh for me because I was around this person for 12 painful years.
It’s hard to see the pictures from the events and i’m missing in most all of them.
Re: How do you act around someone that has hurt you badly several times?
It takes time. Even if you are able to forgive for your own sake, forgetting is entirely another story. 2 years of healing may not be enough for 12 years of unhappiness.
Depending on how intimate the relationship was, moving on and erasing memories that can come back at a second’s notice or at the mere glance at the face, can be very, very challenging. Especially when you are still grieving the end of that rishta.
It may be difficult for you to see pictures of your social circle gatherings right now…avoid looking to protect yourself.
And if the pain of missing out is too much then look for some kind of therapy to speed up your grieving/healing process so that you can return to participating.
Ultimately the goal should be to regain your own peace…everything else will still be there.
May Allah swt guide you and make this process easier upon you, ameen.
Re: How do you act around someone that has hurt you badly several times?
What’s the back story?
Re: How do you act around someone that has hurt you badly several times?
You don’t act at all. That’s what you’re supposed to do.
Re: How do you act around someone that has hurt you badly several times?
Good Topic!! theres always those people we come across who we go above and beyond for, and don’t even expect much more than honesty or trust in return. I know the most disheartening feeling is betrayal by such a person =(
One thing I have learned from past experiences is to make sure you come off as unaffected! literally “kill with kindness” nothing hurts such people more than seeing that you’re perfectly happy without them!
On a side note, I’m not for second chances either! and if that ends up being the case then always have that red flag up somewhere in the back of your mind that past actions can be repeated at any instance!
Re: How do you act around someone that has hurt you badly several times?
I get on with the process by being polite but indifferent and even ignoring the person sometimes
Re: How do you act around someone that has hurt you badly several times?
there are people i truly hate( theres only one person). Rest I have managed to ignore and throw out
Re: How do you act around someone that has hurt you badly several times?
hmmmm like you dont care?