so what is your defination of assimilation?
what do u do to assimilate yourself and ur family in the western society?
how do u balance being muslim, pakistani and american/canadian/british ?
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
I dont want to assimilate, i did not assimilate into saudi society we I lived there, british society or even Pakistani society when i lived there. I integrate. Big difference.
As I have quoted someone before, instead of a melting pot think of a salad, all items work together to create a great item..okay forget salad, pizza...each topping is its own thing...but they add to the pizza.
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
........I also believe in integration...its wonderful I am enjoying alot.
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
.........officially term "integrate" is used not "assimilate" for immigrants.
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
By not expecting your kids to follow every little teeny tiny part of the culture you left behind. You left your country fo r a reason so don’t expect your kids to NOT pick up aspects of American life.
It’s one thing to teach your kids about their religion and make them proud of their culture and where they come from, but sheltering/controlling them is another thing.
I’m talking about, how parents will marry their daughters off the second they’re almost done wiht high school/childhood engagements, not letting them have friends and socialize wiht others, or participate in school sports/afterschool activities because of “male coaches/teachers/practicies that go into the evenings” or cut off most every form of socialization, to not let them have a say in who they marry, to discourage daughters from having careers (as opposed to just working as time-pass til u get married), even things like the way they dress (shalwar kameez vs jeans) or the foods they eat (pizza vs briyani) can tend ot be an issue. Presonal example, if I talk abt my wedding or my fiance, ppl wud have problems with it coz “paki girls don’t talk about that stuff.” 
I think people get the wrong idea when they hear “assimilate” or “integrate”, they think it means women should go ahead and walk around half naked or they should start serving alcohol at home or drinking and let their kids date and have sex. American life is NOT just what you see on MTV or Desparate Housewives, it’s taking core beliefs, such as freedom to practice your religion, freedom of speech etc as LONG AS it does not infringe on the other’s rights. There are ignorant rednecks who don’t understand that concept but that is the basic idea that USA was built on..
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
just be a good human being who knows the difference between right and wrong.
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
I am a British-Pakistani. The cultural ID of Islam, being integral to the Pakistani ID, I accept. But no deeper then that. I am well integrated.
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
extreenly practical and excellent question.
I'll reply tomorrow. Inshallah.............
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
forget desis 'assimilating' in UK or other parts of the west, how well did mohajirs 'assimilate' in Pakistan?
assimilate has a certain conotation associated with it that makes me uncomfortable, it is like losing one's identity, becoming generic. what would pakistan be if all the distinct cultures of all the people, their music, their food, their clothing, their poetry was forgotten in favour of one homogeneous society?
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
:k:
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
Stop being such a bloody drama queen.
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
Leg break bhai
Your response means "to the extent of" calling yourself a Muslim and a Pakistani, you are fine (the superficial aspect) other than that you are completely westernized.
correct me if I am wrong...... that means you are using Islam and pakistan just as ID badges? Am I right?
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
I don't think you need to "assimilate," which seems to me to mean that you lose part of your heritage in order to blend in.
I try to remain open-minded, negotiate for myself my lifestyle, and define and redefine the cultures within which I live.
It's so bizarre to be the first generation born here of Pakistani immigrants. Pakistan itself having no established culture, what our parents brought over was a myth, a dream, something intangible that they and their parents had wished so hard for, that they thought it existed everywhere in the country. And yet it was something barely formed within their own households.
And now they are here and somewhat in shock, I think, to see what their children have become. We are mashAllah three very good kids. But we are not, and cannot be, like the Pakistani children they dreamed of when we were born. Not even current Pakistani children can fulfill those dreams. But I've wasted a lot of effort and a lot of tears trying to prove to everyone that I wasn't some weird "Westernized" freak, that I wasn't some "mod," irreligious, immodest girl, that I could live and grow up here, and still fulfill my mother's image of a myth -- a perfect Pakistani daughter.
I know I can't be that, no one really can, and my parents know that. In fact, I think that if I were to become someone very traditional, docile, obedient, they would be disappointed. Living and growing up in this country is all about picking and choosing, being open-minded, understanding different cultures, backgrounds, lifestyles, philosophies, and making one that makes sense for you and allows you to live with others who may not think exactly as you do, but are as interested in finding out about you.
I like being different. I like having to figure out what works for me, knowing that I cannot just blindly accept what others do, that I have to research and understand something before I make a decision that makes sense for me. That I have to be an active learner and an active participant in life, not someone who passively accepts societal norms of religion, culture, dress, education, etc.
As far as I'm concerned, that's what being an American is all about. Questioning and figuring out what you truly believe, what you have faith in, and standing up for it.
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
assimilate has a certain conotation associated with it that makes me uncomfortable, it is like losing one's identity, becoming generic. what would pakistan be if all the distinct cultures of all the people, their music, their food, their clothing, their poetry was forgotten in favour of one homogeneous society?
Your post says it all.
Assimilate is a WRONG word.
It must be something like "How do you adjust in a western society?" so something like this.........
The topic poster seems a new comer to North America. I had the same questions when I came here and was new. Then I had to accept a fact, "I am nothing but a Muslim and a Pakistani" These are my priorities in life. I cannot randomnly pick whatever suites me. My sources of inspiration are different, by beliefs are different and I have to function in this society without jeopardizing what defines me........
Yes there are certain things I have picked up from this society. Examples are, being on time, being hardworker, being social, being courteous, learning human rights, standing up for what is right..... etc etc.......
I know I cannot break some boundaries for example, respecting elders, our Islamic values (doesn't matter how odd they seem in this society)
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
It think it's harder in the US than in countries like Canada that follow the British model of multiculturalism. As someone mentioned, integration and not assimilation is the goal.
In the latter, retaining your own identity is viewed as a positive thing as long as it does not conflict with participating in the national identity. A good example of this is the toleration of dual-nationality, which is not permitted in the USA (which requires you to foreswear all loyalty to other countries to become a citizen).
The procession that follows the boxer Amir Khan is another excellent example. He boxes for Britain; his followers wave a mix of british AND pakistani flags.
Integration is a two-way street. The broader society must be willing to tolerate it, and the minority must be willing to do so too.
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
Somewhat. I do have genuine love for Pakistan.
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
i feel sorry for ABCD's, CBCD's, & EBCD's when they grow out of that phase where they try to be white, black, or whatever, and try to become desi again, eventually they end up in between, who can't be american and can't be desi.
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
Drink up, meet in the pub, support the wars (very important for "immigrants"), support the troops wherever they are whatever they do... otherwise you'll be dubbed anti-country.
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
.......well integrated doesnt mean a person is doing same things as westerns.........its based upon 'Tolerance'.
Re: how do u assimilate in the western society?
I feel sorry for us too. We are stuck in no-mans land.