how do people not find anything wrong with

[Silver_Falcon_Of_Kashmir]

Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

@Ashy2010

I guess coz the guy’s families (especially moms) have a desire to choose the wife of their son, they just don’t consider that their sons are mature enough to make a decision themselves**. I am not against the involvement of parents in the shadi decision, but if a guy has chosen a girl who is according to the right criteria, why sould parents not approve of their sons decision? If they would have seen that girl on their own, they might have approved of her but just because shes the son’s own choice and they met somewhere and have been having friendship immediately destroys the character of the girl and the parents just cant accept that such a girl to be their bahu.**

I think if a mom really wants to choose a bahu, she should convince her son from a very young age and should stop her to choose any girl on his own. If a guy still chooses a girl on his own, the mom should understand that its her lack of convincing that has led her son to choose the girl and should approve of the son’s choice because after all its the guy’s life and the parents should approve if there is no major reason to disapprove the girl. I guess major reasons for desi parents include religion, nationality (for most), education and family background.

I personally think the reason for this behaviour is insecurity. In our society, parents have heavily invested all they have, be it money or emotions, on their sons. So when they are getting married, they want to make sure that they have the upper hand in the husband-wife-in laws equation. And they fear that if the boy will marry a girl of his choice, then they have already lost half the battle. And it would be easier for him to be influenced by his wife if he loves her. That’s the only logical explanation I can think of. Otherwise, I also don’t gunderstand why, when parents claim that they want their child to be happy, they cannot allow them to live with the person that they want to be with.

About OP’s question, I don’t think it’s funny or laughable as such. Not all people have great social or dating skills. If left to their own devices, they would not be able to get anyone:)

Plus our society is still largely conservative, and it’s not that easy for a boy to meet a girl, without incurring social wrath. Not to mention the problems mentioned by Ashy2010. Even if they were to find someone, chances are that their family wouldn’t agree. And even if they consent half-heatedly, they would make life very difficult for the daughter in law. (Read so many threads in life 1, and seen so many real life examples!). So I guess, it’s a lot less ‘headachy’, who needs all that drama in their life?