how do people not find anything wrong with

Lifestyle Relationships
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a grown, 30+ year old man NOT choosing who he marries.

:rotfl: it’s just…hilarious!

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

its rather sad and odd. It tells clearly that Mister is not having any interest in the shadi and his future wife to begin with.

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

…because a younger man or woman not choosing who they marry is aight. :halo:

If you’re gonna mock something, at least have the balls to mock the entire group, and not just a subsect you deem to be “losers”.

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

^will you feel better if i say 30+- ? obviously I am talking about everyone.

Mirage...i agree. it's just so....BIZARRE.

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

you would never know except from experience. Mocking at someone for something could be one thing, but obviously not everyone is in for the same reason. Doesnt even sound like a common sense that you have hit thirty, are mature enough (i suppose) and still you aint any interested in who your future wife/life partner is going to be! Sounds like such an indifferent gesture, well it does, to me. Such men either marry as a formality or only for their family's satisfaction. Cannot possibly think of a third reason here.

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

I guess coz the guy's families (especially moms) have a desire to choose the wife of their son, they just don't consider that their sons are mature enough to make a decision themselves. I am not against the involvement of parents in the shadi decision, but if a guy has chosen a girl who is according to the right criteria, why sould parents not approve of their sons decision? If they would have seen that girl on their own, they might have approved of her but just because shes the son's own choice and they met somewhere and have been having friendship immediately destroys the character of the girl and the parents just cant accept that such a girl to be their bahu.

I think if a mom really wants to choose a bahu, she should convince her son from a very young age and should stop her to choose any girl on his own. If a guy still chooses a girl on his own, the mom should understand that its her lack of convincing that has led her son to choose the girl and should approve of the son's choice because after all its the guy's life and the parents should approve if there is no major reason to disapprove the girl. I guess major reasons for desi parents include religion, nationality (for most), education and family background.

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

Just like how people don't find it odd a 30+ woman does not choose who she marries....this is a rather a dumb question and that even by life1 standards.

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

Mom's can really emotionally blackmail a guy. I guess with some guys they would rather not put up a fight especially if they don't have anyone else in their life who they like ...

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

maybe he's just glad someone's agreed, and doesn't want to jinx it.

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

It is their life and their choice. And you don’t know exactly what the reason behind it is. And even if their reason is that they want to marry their parents’ choice, then good for them, nothing wrong with it :k:

It does not say anything about one’s interest in life, goals, determination, being a real man, being a mommy’s boy etc.

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

What’s so funny about it? :confused:

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

I don’t see anything wrong with someone not going out and trying to meet women himself and being open to his mother’s (or anybody else for matter) suggestion instead if that’s what you mean by the question.

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

why are we always blaming the mother, what about the fathers, brothers, and sisters who are against a guy choosing his own wife?

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

didn't blame the mother. infact, didn't pose the question to anyone but the guy himself.

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

^^ i am referring to other posts where everyone is just going nuts on mothers...mother this, mother that.

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

^that mother this , mother that stems from the ''DIL" mentality prevalent here…:chai:

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

I personally think the reason for this behaviour is insecurity. In our society, parents have heavily invested all they have, be it money or emotions, on their sons. So when they are getting married, they want to make sure that they have the upper hand in the husband-wife-in laws equation. And they fear that if the boy will marry a girl of his choice, then they have already lost half the battle. And it would be easier for him to be influenced by his wife if he loves her. That's the only logical explanation I can think of. Otherwise, I also don't gunderstand why, when parents claim that they want their child to be happy, they cannot allow them to live with the person that they want to be with.

About OP's question, I don't think it's funny or laughable as such. Not all people have great social or dating skills. If left to their own devices, they would not be able to get anyone:)

Plus our society is still largely conservative, and it's not that easy for a boy to meet a girl, without incurring social wrath. Not to mention the problems mentioned by Ashy2010. Even if they were to find someone, chances are that their family wouldn't agree. And even if they consent half-heatedly, they would make life very difficult for the daughter in law. (Read so many threads in life 1, and seen so many real life examples!). So I guess, it's a lot less 'headachy', who needs all that drama in their life?

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

Because usually in the rishta process, women have a greater say than men. They are the ones who get to go and 'view' all the girls under consideration. And obviously a mother's opinion counts more compared to a sister or brothers. Women would hate me for saying this, but it's usually women who make other women's lives miserable. Otherwise, I have observed that most guys aren't interested in domestic politics anyway.

And has anyone noticed how women are always nicer/ more lenient towards say their father-in-law, brother-in-law, or son-in-law. But are very critical when it comes to daughter/mother/sister-in-law. Why is that so?

I mean how come even lousy son in laws get treated like royalty, but no matter how much a daughter in law does, it's either just not enough, or only her 'farz'.

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Re: how do people not find anything wrong with

Its an insensitive question in my view.

There are several reasons for this. Many in my own circle have waited for their sisters to get married first.Lots of the men in fact make sure their sisters, even younger ones get married before them. For many, their mothers are doing the job and taking an age doing it. If some do end up selecting some one for their own selves, it is a whole mega drama.

I have only respect for such men, who pay so much for their families & still remain principally strong - be it for their sisters, their mother or society as a whole.

Also, there is nothing** ":rotfl: " **hilarious about it.