I have been volunteering at a prison and a couple days before sunday and a couple days after sunday, I get so depressed!!! I cant stop thinking about them n how it feels to be in there..and how their lives are never going to be same n for some of them, this is there life..two meals a day and a cell to live in. I mean its good to sympathize with ppl n all but its getting to me now n I cant quit cuz they really need us n i just cant but I wanna be happy or atleast not depressed while I do it..
Re: how do i get rid of the feeling
Just remember that htey did somethign wrong to end up in that situation. that person u feeling bad for, they possibly robbed someone else, or killed them..
Re: how do i get rid of the feeling
Pray to Allah to give them guidance and give you patience to deal with the situation. You are indeed doing a great job by volunteering at prision may Allah reward you for that
Re: how do i get rid of the feeling
I know EXACTLY what you mean.
I feel guilty to this day about it but i had to quit volunteering because it was depressing me so much. During the last year of high school (looooong time ago), I signed up to volunteer at an institution for the mentally retarded/ill. Everyday that I went into volunteer I would be going home in the bus and I would look at everyone in a different manner, while normally i wouldn't care.
I would have to go to my assigned ward by passing thru other wards, which had locks and what not on it, and once i walked into a male ward and all these male patients came right towards me and wanted to touch my hand and kiss it - there were about 20 of them male patients in that wards. That totally freaked me out...needless to say I quit soon afterwards because it was really taking it's toll on me.
It was a completely different world inside, it was so confined, and it was sad to think how life would be in their shoes. I shudder to imagine. Reminds me of how unthankful we become at times, concerned with minor issues while just being "normal" could give someone a whole new perspective on life. Having the ability to think, to choose, to do what they wanted. It accounts for a lot.
Re: how do i get rid of the feeling
Actually, they probably did do something wrong, but they didn’t have enough money to hire a good lawyer to either get them cleared of the charges or to get a reduced sentence.
Re: how do i get rid of the feeling
I do pray for them n myself but its just like Sehar said that u get all emotional n u cant really help it but I def dont wanna quit cuz i know then i will never be able to get over it n I will feel so weak that i will never be able to do anything of this sort...
Sehar I dont think u should feel guilty about it..Its not like you wanted to quit but i think if you dont feel good, then u cant really make a dif for other ppl n thats exactly why i wanna feel good about it while I do it..
Re: how do i get rid of the feeling
You MUST come home and clear your head. You need to train yourself to mentally switch gears. Make sure that when you get home - you have plans with what to do for the rest of the day, and focus on that after you get out of the prison.
Re: how do i get rid of the feeling
^ Agree with PGC, perhaps try to do something physical , You need to mentally switch from one "world" to the other otherwise it drive you a little crazy.
create a mindset...do what you have to do whilst you're there but dont get yourself emotionally involved.
Re: how do i get rid of the feeling
You think that's depressing?
Try volunteering to help mentally and physically retarded kids. Seeing lives robbed of their potential at that young age is a total downer, I was glad when my 11 weeks of volunteering ended.
Re: how do i get rid of the feeling
you can help ease your pain by visiting your local neighbhourhood bar :)
Re: how do i get rid of the feeling
Not very practical or effective Furqan.
Tikhi, I agree with PCG. You need to mentally prepare yourself and be able to focus on more positive things in life once you are done volunteering. How long have you been volunteering for? If it's only been a short while, you may actually get used to it and it may no longer effect you mentally in the long run.
I don't know if this is an option for you but maybe it would help you and the prison inmates by talking to them and trying to help them emotionally cope with their situation. It could be beneficial for both you and them.
Re: how do i get rid of the feeling
the term “retard” is not politically correct, your talking about children with disabilites.
Re: how do i get rid of the feeling
your empathy tikhi is probably what helps you best in doing your job. people know when you care about what you're doing rather than just going through the motions. your situ reminds me of what sister used to go through working in a pediatric hospital.. shed come home so depressed at times, having seen kids she made friends with die before her. but the fact that she cared so much about those kids helped her become a better, more caring doctor.
dont look to completely desensitise yourself to the environment, to the work you do. just dont let your empathy interfere with helping them. i have no clue how though..
Re: how do i get rid of the feeling
^ exactly the how part is hard!
i do have alot of crap to do but thats mostly school stuff, like that sunday i was in school till nine something! Didnt help much..i still find myself reading about prison life or watching A&E :-/
Mehnaz ur kinda right, it might be that i just started doing it and i might get used to it eventually..