Do you think daughter in laws should get treated equally?
Would you like to be the favourite?
I’m trying my best not to be the favourite as I think more is expected of you. However because I’m quite and non confrontational, I seem to be favoured. But I keep reiterating that we should all be treated equally!
Re: How do Daughter in Laws get treated in your family?
They tried really mistreating them but my brothers and I didn’t allow it
Re: How do Daughter in Laws get treated in your family?
Good on u for standing up for dils in ur family
Re: How do Daughter in Laws get treated in your family?
All in-laws are treated overwhelming great in our family. Since my childhood I saw my grand-parents on both maternal and paternal sides to give extra respect to in-laws be it son, daughter, bro, sis or their families.
As mom always said in particularly before my sisters’ marriages, that its not a wedding of two people, its the two families.
In the end it may vary from fam to fam and their culture, background, ethnicity etc. But with some give and take it should be alright
Re: How do Daughter in Laws get treated in your family?
Currently I’m the only DIL in my immediate in-laws and alhamdulillah get treated with utmost respect and love. Long may it continue inshaAllah.
I have seen other DILs in the extended family (my MILs siblings DILs for example) who are unfortunately not treated as well 
Re: How do Daughter in Laws get treated in your family?
Me and my siblings love our only SIL and she’s respected and given lots of love by everyone in the family. On the other hand, I’m a DIL and not treated fairly. My in laws engage in and create typical, unexplained and confusing dramas that leave both me and my husband perplexed. I must add, I’m polite, kind and considerate but I’m not the quiet, shy type.
Re: How do Daughter in Laws get treated in your family?
With my immediate family like my brother’s wife, she’s put on a pedestal and even if she talks rudely to me or my mother without any reason or cause, she still gets excused for it because her family does not live in the US. My mother and father constantly tell me to look at her good traits and ignore the snooty, not nice traits and so now I limit my interaction with her. I do like that when she first got married to my brother, she was really sweet and did things that were kind of like how “Khirad” was in Humsafar, as in going above and beyond to blend in with our family so now I keep thinking of that old, sweeter version of SIL and will try to be a wife and DIL like that old version of SIL, if I do get married.
But to answer your question, DILs in my family get treated awesomely.
Re: How do Daughter in Laws get treated in your family?
I always plan to treat my SIL and DIL in a good way IA, the reason is that I know how does it feel getting behaved badly by in laws, even without any reason.
Re: How do Daughter in Laws get treated in your family?
and in addition all SILs and DILs in my family are treated in a good way except some special cases where no.one was ready to compromise over trivial matters
Re: How do Daughter in Laws get treated in your family?
In my family I’ve observed that DILs who took up duties such as caring for the elderly and general responsibilities of the in-laws for first 10 years earned a ton of respect, everyone loves them, asks for their advice, younger generation asks for their approval before taking important decisions and they totally became part of the tight knit family. These DILs became real VIPs who have lots of rights and love from everyone except for the DILs of the second type.
The DILs of the second type were concerned about their rights from day 1. They wanted to limit contact with in-laws ASAP, pressurised their husbands to stop contributing toward joint in-law family fund. Wanted to meet only rich relatives and couldn’t care less about the poorer ones. These DILs never had time either due to their own exams or their children’s exams. Life felt great for these DILs for the first 10 years. Some of these DILs have now went into total isolation and nobody cares about them. Other DILs of this type cannot wrap their heads around the “double standards” with which they are dealt with by the in-laws and other relatives.
Re: How do Daughter in Laws get treated in your family?
hmm.. that’s really interesting. I’ve seen also the opposite where the DILs who worked their tails off for the in-laws and family got treated like dirt and looked down upon and were seen as just a general care taker/ maasi. Whereas the DIL who actually spoke up against what they would and would not do were the ones who got respect, because they had their standards. Knew how much to give and also knew how to live a full life with personal goals and ambitions. I think it’s good to have a balance and when you are able to give everyone their due rights and know your personal rights it’s the best and most Islamic way to live.
Re: How do Daughter in Laws get treated in your family?
Got treated like dirt in the beginning when I lived with the in-laws. Now things are better but I am no longer interested in being liked or favorite as I did when I was younger so I don’t do as many favors and kind of mind my own business/
Re: How do Daughter in Laws get treated in your family?
Since we only have one brother , his wife is very ladli and dear to all of us … My parents and all my sisters give her special treatment … But I must say she fully deserve it. I have to give her full credit. She is not only a nice person but also quite mature and wise for her age. She knows how to handle all her susralis. Not many girls her age have that maturity. What I like about her is that she keeps a good balance. She doesn’t kill herself or go out of the way to please her inlaws but she will make sure that she maintains good ties with everyone and be a part of the family.
I have been also lucky to have great susral. They gave me respect and space. The only thing that I have learnt over time is that susral is susral. They can never replace your own family. After my husband’s death, I realized that it was my family who actually were concerned about me and my kids. Although I still have very good relationship with my inlaws. I visit them often, we even go together on vacation every year … but they never really ask how I am doing or check on me to see if I need anything.
Re: How do Daughter in Laws get treated in your family?
Idk I’m an only son, will find out eventually lmaoo