…when you had your second (or when you got pregnant with the second)?
Re: How did your relationship with your first born change...
Very good topic, Infact I was going to start a similar thread...
I'm expecting my 2nd baby end of July inshallah. And I'm a lil worried whether i'd be able to maintain that same bonding/relationship with my first when the 2nd one arrives.As far as what I've planned, I shall be focusing a lot on my first so it doesn't affect him negatively in an emotional way. I'll involve him when doing things for baby & I'll need to make sure I'm giving him some one to one time too.
I hope my first does not feel neglected or jealous in anyway, which is why I try & explain to him at times that he's goin to be a big bro. I also read story books about changes in the family n having a new baby sibling. Although he's still quiet young himself as when my 2nd will b born he will be 22months.
Re: How did your relationship with your first born change...
With me, unfortunately, it was a very tramautic transition. We went through two back to back IVF's, so I got pregnant with the twins when my eldest was 14 months old. I had been exclusively nursing him all the way, but had to stop in order to begin the injections etc. It was so hard to wean him off, and I literally had to quit cold turkey. And then the pregnancy itself with the twins was very hard. I was basically on complete bedrest and my mom and my husband had to pretty much takeover. The twins were preemies, it was a difficult delivery (one was vag, the other c-section) I myself was in the hospital longer than normal, the twins had extended stays in the NICU, and then one baby came home before the other...and then the second...my poor little guy was soo confused! And he was barely a toddler himself!
The first two years were very difficult! To this day, there is a marked difference between my eldest son & the twins...he is much more clingy and high maintainace whereas the twins are independent and self sufficient. But at the same time, all 3 brothers are extremely close and instant playmates! They really do look out for eachother...and us much as they fight, if one is not around the others start missing him like crazy!
Re: How did your relationship with your first born change...
It was the most difficult time any parent can go through, my husband took 3 months off just so he can take care of our oldest one, I didn't want her to feel neglected or ignored, but it was so difficult she would look at me with such sadness when I would be holding/feeding the baby, that guilt still haunts me till this day, when the little would sleep I would take her and spend time with her, It was the most exhausting summer for me, I used to cry so much, I felt like complete failure, but alhamdulilah we got thru it, my first one was 15 months when the second baby was born, and was a very tough transition especially for the toddler, I was eventually planning on going back to work but when I saw how clingy and aggressive she became so I decided to stay at home, Just like the the above poster said even till this day they both play together but at times her clinginess and wanting to become a baby just comes right up, but when separated miss each other like crazy, they have both become more independent MashAllah, Thank God that gives me enough time time to clean up or make a cup of coffee for myself, but again it is what it is, It is a phase they grow up so fast that each and every hard situation becomes a blur, As parents our main concern is that our children are healthy, together and happy :)
I am in the same boat as guriya with new baby coming early June,
And my first is going to be 24 months. It has been very hard so far simply coz of hubby's long working hours. I just don't have the energy in me and I get short with Jr while all he wants is attention and he is just being playful. I am really scared at how I will manage when the new baby comes. My ammi is gonna be here post delivery and hubby will have 3 weeks off but I won't be able to do much while I am feeding the baby.
Re: How did your relationship with your first born change...
Auto..is that you in your avatar? Can I see the bigger n better version of this pic? Pleeej?
Re: How did your relationship with your first born change...
GTG this is what Jr. did on my smartphone. It is someone else not me.....lol
Re: How did your relationship with your first born change...
I dunno how its gonna be... but I am pretty sure I will be dealing with jealousy and maybe a few guilt trips from munchkin.
munchkin is 5, Mashallah and will be 5.5 by the time the next pops. At this stage, I think she is quite ready for a sibling, infact really wants one. My game plan (yes I have a plan) is to get munchkin involved with everything bubba needs to make her feel even more special, wanted and needed... I will let her play the big sister like a pro and feel like mama and bubba two are nothing wihout her... which I am not.
Having said that, I do feel like my relationship has been changing over the months with munchkin. On one hand, I want to do everything possble for her, like when she was a toddler... i'll feed her, I'll dress her.. cuddle her, tickle her like mad... whatever she wants. Then, I'll have a short fuse and I treat her like she should know everything.
Im confusing the poor kid. Feel horrid.
Sometimes, I want to keep her as she is forever... on the other hand I want to make her a responsible little being who her sibling could look up to, Inshallah.
I am already feeling I am going to be comparing the two a lot. Munchkin has been Mashallah a superb child to deal with. She just gets things.. even when I dont want her to. I think hubby and I will need to talk about this, and not have any expectations of either child. And never compare. Inshallah.
Re: How did your relationship with your first born change...
GTG this is what Jr. did on my smartphone. It is someone else not me.....lol
Kids these days...:DMine was once playing with the husband's phone and after a while his wall paper was a picture of Gandhi.I Kid you not,we still do not know how that happened.
Sorry for an off-topic post..!