How common is it for a guy to marry a girl same age in an arranged marriage

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: How common is it for a guy to marry a girl same age in an arranged marriage

That's rough. Hope she is ok.

22

Re: How common is it for a guy to marry a girl same age in an arranged marriage

wait so if they didn't show up, then who did she leave at the altar? or was the guy already here?

sorry i know u said no details, but wow I really want to hear more! I'm intrigued!

23

Re: How common is it for a guy to marry a girl same age in an arranged marriage

My cousin is the guy...the girl ditched him. Her family was supposed to fly into town to do the nikkah, but they weren't gonna have the rukhsati at the same time. Also, when I said "altar", I meant the brown version of it ... we didn't have a church wedding planned :P

24

Re: How common is it for a guy to marry a girl same age in an arranged marriage

ohhh I re-read the initial post, where you said he GOT ditched...ouch! how's he doing now?

Did you mention this before? It sounds so familiar...

25

Re: How common is it for a guy to marry a girl same age in an arranged marriage

Am sure the girl is ok; its the guy that got ditched.

26

Re: How common is it for a guy to marry a girl same age in an arranged marriage

Nope haven't posted about this before. Might have been someone else. He's coping in his own way. He's gotten more antisocial lately, and sometimes says some really weird stuff. We've always been close, so I'm trying to be as supportive as I can while trying to give him some space because he gets annoyed with all the attention.

27

Re: How common is it for a guy to marry a girl same age in an arranged marriage

I think that the age difference thing isn't important to everyone. Like I commented on in another thread - most of my male cousins and my brother who all got married wanted someone closer in age, more so they could relate to one another. So if that's the only red flag that the girl's mom is seeing - I wouldn't really stress over that.

Considering that everything else with the guy and his family checks out, I would let the girl and guy exchange emails and just chat so it's okay from their sides. I don't know how conservative both families are - but that's usually what happened when my cousins had arranged marriages. If everything was okay on both sides and the parents were happy then they allowed the guy and girl to chat online or text, etc. and get to know each other. If they both liked the others personality and they were compatible then the shaadi date was set.

I think what the guy and girl wants is important too and they should ask the girl if this guy is someone she would consider marrying. Sometimes parents can get a bit over paranoid and ruin a potentially good rishta with overthinking. No one will be 100% perfect but she should let her daughter have the final say IF everything else checks out to be okay.

28

Re: How common is it for a guy to marry a girl same age in an arranged marriage

Thank you all for the advises.
the mother of the girl is not alarmed by anything else as such. the checks have been done with the organization the guy is working for and no one said anything bad about the guy. the HR quoted the same salary which the guy mentioned that he is earning.
from the guy's neighbourhood, only one family said that the guy's dad is kind of short tempered and ready to pick fights but that's not a deal breaker.
The girl is okay with this rishta but left the final decision to her parents.
my mom is still convincing her friend to go ahead with this proposal but the aunty is not convinced yet.

29

Re: How common is it for a guy to marry a girl same age in an arranged marriage

^Gudia, tell your mom to tell aunti to consider the fact that her daughter is happy with this rishta. Emphasize this. The final decision is not aunti's, but of the two people who may be spending the rest of their life together. Even if Aunti was considering a much older rishta that had a few faults and therefore seemed "reasonably good" if not "too good".....it would still be her daughter that would be dealing with the marriage. So, emphasize the daughter's feelings. Also, you can encourage aunti to ask the guy and his family about the age difference....if she has not already done so. Maybe if she hears it from THEIR mouths that they don't mind the small age gap and find such concerns un-Islamic, she'll calm down. Right now she's just hearing everybody else's opinion and is not satisfied with it, so she should actually ask the guy and his parents to quell her doubts once and for all as opposed to driving herself and others batty with her guesswork.

30

Re: How common is it for a guy to marry a girl same age in an arranged marriage

im cureious, does the aunty happen to have a daughter who's of marriageable age but hasn't gotten a rishta yet?

If mom and dad are OK, why are they letting someone else plant seeds of doubt?

31

Re: How common is it for a guy to marry a girl same age in an arranged marriage

im beginning to learn that a majority of the guys who are currently in the rishta process are in their 30s so i guess it could be common that they get married to women around the same age. i think many guys raised in the west would feel uncomfortable with someone 7-8 years younger than them.
i'm 25 and so far we haven't even found anyone who's at least 28 :| they're all 30+