How Clinton keeps fit
by S. Raghunath
PRESIDENT Clinton, in a far-ranging interview to Esquire magazine, had spoken of how he keeps his cool under the pressures and stresses of his office and his prescription for keeping physically fit.
Exigency of space forced Esquire to excise parts of the interview. Here with the excised portion.
“Mr President, we notice that you’ve exceptionally well-developed wrist muscles. Do you do any heavy exercises with iron dumb-bells?”
“No, I don’t. I use the full force of the strength in my wrists to twist the arms of multilateral financial institutions like the World Bank and the IMF and force them to indefinitely suspend loans and grants to poor, developing countries of the third world who don’t toe the American line. This is an exercise I enjoy very much.”
“Mr President, could you tell us how fishing helps you to keep fit?”
“Well, fishing helps me to relax and unwind from the tensions and pressures of the oval office. However, I don’t mean fishing for trout and salmon in the Potomac river. Instead, I enjoy fishing in troubled waters.”
“Mr President, the American people are very proud that they have a President who at 54 stands ramrod straight without the slightest hint of a stoop. What exercises do you do?”
“Well, I’ve developed my own regimen of isometric exercises which I call cold war posturings. That accounts for my erect stance.”
“How does riding help you keep fit?”
“Well, there’s nothing as good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse. Mind you, riding two horses at the same time, like solemnly pledging America’s untinted support and commitment to human rights and liberty and simultaneously arming to the teeth blood-thirsty tyrants.
“Mr President, may we also comment on your tremendously well-developed neck. Do you recommend any special exercises to develop neck muscles?”
“Well, I’ve my own regimen. Even to the most reasonable proposals like temporarily suspending the aerial bombardment of Yugoslavia to facilitate a diplomatic solution to the Balkans crisis or measures to restrict the emission of the greenhouse gases. I shake my head vigorously in dissent and that helps exercise my neck muscles.”
“Mr President, what about the food you eat? Do you follow any special diet which accounts for your glowing health?”
“Well, actually I don’t follow any particular diet, but I do confess that I’ve a weakness for desserts?”
“Desserts?”
“Yes, like the Saudi Arabian desert with its oil.
