Okay, so I was top of my class when I was in highschool, and I remember doing the things my sister was doing, and I don’t remember any of it being hard.
I think she’s a smart kid, probably much smarter than I am in many ways (like she has common sense…and she’s not dyslexic when it comes to reading…), but somehow she’s facing problems that I never faced before.
Some teacher for some particular subject I found incredibly easy is a slavedriver, apparently.
Another teacher is very annoying for a class that I was never required to take - earth space science - its an FCAT (a cheesy florida exam) requirement.
And then get this - in Physical Ed - she is getting graded for running a mile. A pass/fail grade too. And her teacher can’t make up her mind whether the pass/fail is decided at 7, 8 or 12 minutes! Or so my sister says.
I feel really bad for her, because if she fails the mile run (20 percent of her grade), she could get a B or a C - depending on if the fail is factored in as 0 percent or 100 percent. That would suck. I mean, she’d pass the class, but with a bad grade for a class that should be incredibly easy. For us, it was - if you dress out every day and participate, you’ll get an A. End of story. No one got lower than an A in PE, ever! Unless if you badmouth the coach.
She’s frustrated. I’m frustrated, because I want her to be a valedictorian. My father, who would make sure (and still does) that I get an A in every class no matter what, doesn’t even care. I mentioned it this evening, and he shrugged.
Kinda reminds me of my Java teacher...I ended up with a B...and in fact if u add up all teh marks I missed out in HER classes ( i had one with her every semester) it's alomst wht I needed to garduate with High Distinction, now I just have a Distinction...anyways
My foks weren't too nasty with me on it..coz I kept complaining about her everyday...even shed a few tears...lady had a personal grudge coz I corrected her in call once and solved a problem she hadn't been able to solve for weeks...
As for ur sis and ur dad..well...just tell her to start cribbin so it'll set dada up..abd then teh B won't look so bad...in fact she shoudl make it seem liek she's gonna fail teh entire damn subject...coz of teh teacher...hehe
Teachers can be demandin and folks even more....life sucks eh...and this is just P.E...Lord help us all.
urgh! I feel so damn terrible - I’m worrying AGAIN about another class of hers.
Good God, I feel like sitting her down, have her do the school work in front of me, so I can tell her where she is going wrong!
I’ve never seen such dismal performance from her ever. She’s a smart kid.
Grrrrrrrr — I need to get my mind off of it - I’m freaking her out - she feels hopeless - but she has a fighting chance if she’d get off her lazy ass and do some work.
And this is wierd - my immediate family is so gung ho over school - and now, they have such a lax attitude with her. All of a sudden too. I wonder if its because I’ve moved out and because I’m not including my parents so much in my life as I used to. I know they feel really left out of my life, but could that be why they just don’t care how she does in school.
And why can’t I stop worrying about it. I mean, I feel more tense for her than I do for my own upcoming classes and exams.
:D u sound a lot like me.... the bad part is.. there is no way outta it ... it's gonna end on its own... for me it ended with me not being able to believe how silly my sister can be... althought like ure sis.. she has an amazing mind and thinkin power if she puts her brain into use
... she has recently started to go to the same school i went to.. and amazingly enuff has all the teachers i used to have (there is a gap of 10 yrs between us so... )... when her school started i was all "oh this teacher is teh best" and "oh my... he is a great educator" la la la.... there was no way she could possibly go wrong.. what with me tellin her word for word what she had to do and what she had to write... even how she should organize herself (folders, pencil case.. sad i know.. hehe)... i even went to the extent that when it was mid term time, i wrote out every single question she would and could expect on her exam.. and wrote down the answers... kinda like a mock exam.... so i had it all covered... she goes in her exams and comes out with a passing grade... :o :o i couldn't believe it.... all she had to say was ... "oh it was diff.. i tried.... what can u do.. " i mean she takes it allll so lightly ... and that is what it is... she wont do any better until she doesn't want to... i had to leave her for the time being.. help her out when she asks... but i relaly havta contorl myself from not going up to her and tell her how to do things....
i guess she has to learn how to stop being so damn lazy ...
brings up the fact that the ones with the brains are such bums and the ones who really wanna do well.. they struggle cuz their brainpower aint all that :D
ps) ya.. my folks are so damn lenient with her too ... quite mind bending... but i think for my parents its gotta do with their age factor... my sis came late on in their lives... my dad is a 56 yr old now... i think when ure a young parent you think more bout "oh im gonna do this for my kid.. im gonna read em bedtime stories... im gonna help with their hw... im gonna take em to all their sportmeets.. etc"...... but when ure a 56 yr old... maybe those things aren't ure priorty anymore... he still does shout at her for maybe gettin a C or nto gettin her hw book signed... but he's definately more easy goin on her then he was with us.
This sooooooooo me :D I would so make them sit infront of me and do their homework. I always think that they have the potential but aren't utilizing it completely. You are right about some subjects though, there were classes that I thought were a piece of cake, yet the younger ones seem to have to work extra hard to earn a good grade. On the other hand, there were some classes that I worked harder than usual to get a good grade, that the younger ones don't have to do. Everyones different I suppose.
Its nice to see you girls taking interest in your siblings. Don’t monitor the young ones so closely i.e. set up their schedules, bags uniforms etc. Experience is the best teacher….just warn them ahead of time and share ur experiences.. Let them fail on their own that would accomplish your objective.
PCG -- This sounds like me as well. My youngest brother, who is probably the smartest of the three of us, has almost always done badly in school. I used to always offer to help, even force him. I got pleading phone calls from my parents to do something because his report card was full of bad grades AGAIN. And I felt really helpless (especially since I'm a teacher and couldn't help my own brother!). But he's in college now and MashAllah, doing well. I think what had to happen is that we backed off a little, he had to find his own way, and really take interest and WANT the good grades. Then he became a more responsible student.
in my case i have a younger brother...he's not into studies as much as my older brother and i were...even though he's the smartest...
uptil highschool i used to be also extremely into telling him to study...he's in college now...
my parents have always been a little more lenient with him and now its like they dont put pressure on him at all...
after i went to college, i changed too...my interests got divided into many different things and i just realised that its important to do okay in your studies n tho it would be nice its not imperative that you get a 4.0 GPA unless ofcourse u're pre med or something...theres a lot more in life to be learnt at college n good grades dont just automatically mean success in life...
i stopped worrying that much abt grades n i stopped bugging him too...i think he's doing fine mashallah and now i just let him be...
we all learn things in life...our personalities and interests are different....things do turn out ok...and inshallah they will
different people have different learning styles...it seems like everyone here was the smart one in their family and can not relate or understand what their sibling is facing or what their challenges are.
People noted that the parents do not monitor the younger sibling like they did the older sibling...does teh yoinger sibling see it as a sign of lack of interest? what is people's approach of dealing with their younger sibling when they want them to do better? ... look at it from their perspective not just yours.. do you come of as condescending, do they feel you are putting them down, do they resent you?
are you equipped and able to understand people's learnign styles and difficulties, and what the solutions are?
While I do not doubt that your intentions are noble, I suggest that the elder siblings dont play the parent.. but ask the parents to do that, and if the younger sibling is having learning difficulties, have someone who is an expert in this area see what the solution could be.
ahas anyone wondered about the pressures that their sibling faces...times have changed, what you faced is not the same as your sibling faces..social aspect of schools has a huge impact, things in shools are different, things in the world around us are different than they were a few years ago.
evaluate your own approach, and instead of telling them what to do, or expecting them to do better because you are helping them in your way, engage with them try to figure out what the problem is.
Bajiss.. Aappis.. they monitor each and every minute of younger siblings.I wonder why?? Talking from experience, my sis used to do this to me, even in my 10th grade she would make sure I finished my hw before going to bed and trust me she would even let me know in advance that I 'll get punishment if I didn't ace the class that was supposedly the easiest class for her and for me it could be the toughest one ... being the youngest one and then 7 yrs younger than her, she treated me like her own kid.
As a matter of fact, it never benefitted me, as she got married, moved out, I came here in US for studies, and boooooh I was unable to do anything on my own, because I was too much dependent on her.. I hated it, I love my sister and respect her, but still it wasn't nice of her to make me so dependable on her, so now I can see what your siblings must be going through and what would they end up with, so be lenient towards them and let them do whatever they want to and please let them chose their own way of studying, thinking, and getting ready for the exams. Trust me, they will learn alot by making their own way in the path of life. :-)
Man, its somewhat disturbing to see that most of the people who have the same issue as me are women.
And its even more disturbing to think that subconsciously, I’m playing “mom”. Ew.
I went back to univ, so I have my own issues to focus on now. Gave the girl some ayahs to read from the Quran, and stepped out of her life. I hope she does well. She’s been working her butt off sure enough.
I’m glad to see perspectives from younger siblings here. I never knew younger siblings viewed such behavior as suffocating and stressful.
I am a younger sibling of an extremely intelligent and extremely disciplined elder sister who was not only a straight A student but was in the top of her class every year.
my younger brother, same thing. and the youngest not at the top of his classes but an A student pretty much throughout.
I was pushed, tutors assigned, put ion tight schedules but it simply did not work..partially it was due to extreme social pressures of being a youngest in my class by far. (I finished highschool before I was 16)..partially I could not learn for some reason. I still dont know why.
The way things changed when i got to college were quite different. I still have not figured out why i just could nto get stuff done in highschool, because i tried..
