How can u be sure...?

Lifestyle Relationships
1

hey…im in a dilemma right now and i just need to know how to come to the right decision in my own life…iv known this guy for a year and i was always in the relationship for marriage but recently iv been starting to doubt my decision..

ok so i was just wondering how fellow gs members knew that their husband/wife was the ‘one’…i mean how do u know u are making the right decision?

thanks for ur help in advance

2

Re: How can u be sure...?

what's making you doubt your decision?

Baal Ki Khaal
3

Re: How can u be sure...?

I for myself will believe in my parents to decission.

As if you have a BF then you have to see what he says and what he does. Is there difference in his saying and doing.

How loyal and sincere he is with his other family members and other stuffs he do.

4

Re: How can u be sure...?

im not sure whats making me doubtmy decision to be honest...i dont know if im just a lil too emotional or if im actually doubtful...

i feel that he skips over the important stuff...like if i text him saying something..he will pick and choose what to reply to..and that really fustrates me...i feel like the 'honeymoon period' is over and now its reality...

5

Re: How can u be sure...?

I don't want to undermine what you consider important. However, I would urge you to look at it objectively. Men, generally, are not very expressive beings, and sometimes do not feel like saying anything. If he treats you with respect, considers you an important part of his life, shares his feelings/decisions with you and is romantic otherwise, then what you are emphasizing, could be something of not much value.

6

Re: How can u be sure...?

Also - I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this IS reality.

Life is not an eternal 'honeymoon' phase.

There ARE things that people prefer not to discuss because it is; too stress, too time consuming, too difficult to talk about, not what they think is important etc etc.

If something is important to you and you want to discuss it - first of all, don't broach the subject via a text. Physically talk to him.

Including this very subject. You should be upfront and tell him that you feel as though there is a distance between you two and that you would like to discuss it.

Unfortunately, life isn't a bollywood movie with overflowing romance all the time. :(

I would suggest having a chat with him about what you're feeling. That would be the best and most direct method of deciding for yourself if what you're feeling is correct and if you're interpreting his action correctly or not.

7

Re: How can u be sure...?

With "the one" things don't automatically work, neither any angles come from sky to help.
you always have to make things work.

you got to to ask your self question

1-is this person worth your effort?
2-would your efforts be appreciated.

8

It simply means that you two are not on the same page yet. Keep working either you both will be on same page or you would be looking for more compatible partner.

Timepass-Jan 2013
9

Respecting you and your family are the most important things. Take your time to make up ur mind. There's no rush.

P M to be arrested
10

Re: How can u be sure...?

I agree, thats a small thing and trust me there will be many more. No matter how perfect the other person you will always have differences its how you work through them and if you feel the person is worth the trouble.

BTW read a book called men are like waffles, women are like speghetti.

11

Vah vah… kya khoob advice… never expected that from you :@:

I agree with PM… if everything is all happy and rosy and perfect, then i would think something is really WRONG!! there is no such thing as a ‘perfect lovey dovey’ marriage… the media is twisting your thoughts to expect something that DOES NOT EXIST! :slight_smile:

You have to work at a relationship… you will have your ups and downs… you will argue.. heck you might even be naaraaz for a while… and as said previously, men are not as expressive in their ‘emotions’…

is he worth your effort? Do you want to spend effort in making it work? can you see yourself maalishing his feet after he’s had a long day at work? the latter can be the real dealbreaker :CareBear:

Only you have the answer…welcome to reality… the honeymoon is over beta jee :chai:

12

I understand, from your post, you been intimate with the guy.

The reason you are feeling this way is quite normal. There is no curiosity left between you two. Everything is out in the open and nothing to explore anymore. Welcome to the club...

This is a real life, something you started pre-maturely.

That is exactly why our culture and religion strictly prohibit honeymoon before marriage.

13

Fairy sis I don't recomend talking to bf directly.

But if you found things and and your dil is not mutmain then involve parents.

As we know love andhi hoti hai. Love insaan ko andha kar deti hai so khud ko saaf nazar naheen aay ga love kay parday kay peechay. Or involve any trusted and matured person and let him/her read the text of yours and his and or tell what you said and what he said and ask for opinion.

It's very hard to find. I don't know why ppl didn't ejaad a paimana e love, sincerity and loyality. Agar ijaad ho jaay to bohat say maslay hal ho jain.

3rd person can see things.

May be what you give importance to he doesn't give that much importance to those stuff. Or you ask a lot or expect a lot.

In a single text ask or say only one thing and then see.

14

Totally agree.

Gr8 post. Well said.

15

I know what you mean malish girl.

I agree with you PM said best things in only two lines in a best way.

Timepass-Jan 2013
16

Re: How can u be sure...?

Does he respect you?

Does he respect his elders? What is his relationship like with his own parents?

Has he met your parents? How does he treat them?

Does he break promises or keep them? Does he keep his word?

17

Congratulations lady - you found yourself a normal man. :chai:

They pick and choose what to deal with their entire life. :slight_smile:

18

Follow ur instincts !

**The fact that u have doubts means there is something missing from this relationship ! **

**Trust should be the foundation of any long -term commitment , any relationship that one pursues has its ups & downs but there are always a few basic parameters within that relationship that makes one stick around and be willing to make it work. **

**U have to look closely at your relationship and see if you can live with his flaws and vice versa . Nobody is perfect , however its those "certain" special qualities in a "Certain" someone that makes us wanna live with that person forever through good times and bad . Look for those qualities and decide for yourself are they worth sticking around for ? **

P M to be arrested
19

Truth is you can never really be sure. Just hope that the "yes i made a right choice" moments outweigh the "what the hell did I do?" moments.

20

Re: How can u be sure...?

^ right..

but dont base ur decision on the honeymoon period... honeymoon period doesnt last a very long time. It's not forever... this is reality. But if you want to make reality sweeter, than speak to him about it.. do something about it rather than expecting him to just know

most of the time us females just waste life on waiting for the man to do something... waiting for him to make us feel special and drop dead to our demands... how about we just get on the same page as he is.. ask him about his issues.. what he wants out of the future.. focus on the real things... lovey dovey stuff will come and go. When one is happy.. when one is satisfied... u naturally feel lovey dovey... these feelings cant be forced.

Maybe he's comfortable enough with you to not have to do that stuff all the time and just be normal.. i dunno. Talk to him and get on the same page... it'll be better in the short-term and long-term