I think very helpful tips have been provided here , let me share my two cents ..
last year a friends sister was undergoing similar feelings , they are a religious , reserved family so had similar issues to you i.e no western clothes etc ... But we did manage to give her a makeover:
1- Next time when you shop, dont buy/stitch plain salwar suit. Get anarkali/pishwas maybe or your regular shirts with trouser style salwars ... short shirts maybe ... or shirts with puffy quarter arms .... clothes that fit you well at the waist ...
2- change your hairstyle .. learn how to blow dry your hair or put some light curls in them or do some light backcombing etc ... ( this girl wasnt permited haircuts so we taught her differnet hairstyles)
3- Use some light makeup ... since the weather is hot , you dont need to wear foundations and stuff .. just use an eye pencil or eyeliner .... just at the ends of the eye ... or you can use a silver eyeshadow , apply is lightly with your finger on the lid just above the eyeliner , not on the entire eye ...
Wear a light lipstick or get a coloured lipbalm, keep it in your purse ...
4- wear a perfume , I dont know how , but it really picks the mood up ...
5- Invest in some little/delicate earings ... go for small but decent looking ones rather then large ones ...
You know some of the styles that are out lately look very much like shalwar kameez to me. You should feel confident in what you wear, and seriously shalwar kameez can look SO hot, look through some asian websites or asian fashion magazines to help you out in how to look more 'stylish'
IMHO nothing wrong with looking paindoo and there's a difference between looking paindoo and looking older than you are. Which one are you talkign about?
alrighty so heres the problem..well u need to exercise to become slim and radiant faced like a young woman..
slender down and drink water nd u be pretty nd glowing nd feminine in no time..
cause if u eat too much or bad u will have a face like an over-cooked cake nd will look bari bari for ur age nd unattractive..
slim down then wear fitted clothes and big necklines too show that ur a woman that can attract..nd then ur pheromes will go faaar..
Thanks for your tips but this is one problem i hve. Cos of digestive problem i'm a vegetarian and it kinda makes me look yellow ( too much daal maybe!). My mum's a diabetic and she looks a bit sallow now that she's 50+, that's why i said i look like my mum.
I exercise heaps cos I'm scared of getting diabetes, cos it runs in the family, so being slim is not an issue.
Now that I think about it, my main issue is probably the clothes. They need to be trendier and more fitted. My hubby's family's a bit on the conservative side and don't like me wearing fitted clothes.
Ok so why don’t you just use a tinted moisturiser instead of foundations and stuff, try wearing eyeliner on the upper part of your eye, stop using the precription glasses and opt for contact lens. Maybe you could start wearing a little blusher perhaps or a lipgloss along with the eyeliner and tinted moisturiser. MAC do tinted moisturisers. Start carrying stylish handbags/ purses ( NO kiddy ones please). Perhaps next time you’re in Pakistan try getting your clothes stitched from a good tailor. If you’re buying good fabric why waste it by getting them made from someone who doesn’t do justice? Shalwar kameez should have a good fit, pleats at the front and back of the kameez, zip at the back, pretty lace on it
i prefer being simple than all dolled up. well for ocassions it's different. being simple is never paindu. to look n feel good u just need to learn some tips to pick things that suit u. also fitted clothing is not always appealing. the cut should suit ur body type n hide ur flaws.
Clothes make a huge difference in how you look and feel. You dont have to wear skin tight clothes, just get them made in different designs that are trendy yet conservative.
In addition to the great suggestions above, make sure your eyebrows are neat. Don't need to be heavily arched or anything, but you need clean lines -- no strays.
i think ur problm is not 'u luk like paindoo'...actually u wanna luk extra stylish n trendy...it happens wen we see trendy stuff here n there n a people around us wen they turn as stylish so desire creates obviously...i notice so many ordinary luking gals wid enough confidence only wid their style n things how they carry...so switch to the trendy salwar kameez if u like to wear...n b confident on watever u wear...add some glamour in ur personality n plzzz b hapyyyyyy...:)
you are so adorable to talk so openly about your problem:) I 've actually heard the same problem from a lot of ex pat family members. Even if you get the best fabric, it all boils down to the tailoring. Some family members have had their clothes ruined with cut outs and weird "designing " on the necklines and sleeves coz of enthusiastic tailors (eek)
It takes years to find the right tailor and understandably someone who is visits briefly doesn't have the time to find the right tailor. My suggestion to you is to:
Try Chinverye (Bareeze ready to wear). They use top quality fabrics, the cuts are fabulous, the embroidery, the color scheme, the finishings are all to die for. The best part is how affordable the prices are and you are saved the hassle of having to buy the fabric, dye the fabric, buy the pipings, get the work done and have the clothes stitched (uff kitnee khwaree). I am a size 'S' and their clothes fit me perfectly. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE all their clothes. I don't think any other ready to wear brand can compare to chineyere in terms of the quality and aesthetics of the product and price.
Try going to a designer. Go to someone reputable and become a regular. You don't want to splurge on fabrics only for them to get ruined. I have so many liberty kay kaam walay unstitched clothes, that are rotting in my trunk, coz they came out tacky. I have a lot other ones that ALSO are rotting away in my closet coz the stitching was unflattering. The amount of money I wasted on those could have easily gotten me a couple of nice outfits from kami or Timpi which i would've actually worn ( and gotten a ton of compliments on). And avoid pseudo designers. go to reputed ones.
do you wear shocking pink or red lipsticks?...not bcuz its something wrong with that, but some desi girls look like auntys in dark lipsticks..
and try different styles and see what suits you best....search on google and see what type of bodyfigure and which face shape you have, and try to dress according to that...believe me it will make a huge difference!
Thanks for your help everyone, and thanks for taking the time to help me out. On the weekend, i bought a GHD straightener and now mashaAllah, my hair isn't all boofy and pindu-looking ( boofy hair is nice, but not the humidy-type of boofy). I've been trialling a new look with a bit of everyone's suggestions, i make it straight n sleek, and put it in a high pony-tail. The girls at work told me it looks nice, so i guess it does.
I wear shalwar kameez to work but now instead of taking a bedsheet size dupatta i'm taking a matching pashmina. i can't get kameez and trousers right now cos i have to wait til i go Pak.
Umm and i'm wearing a bit of eye liner, i have lil eyes so just using it to enhance, can't really wear it all around the eye, only on the top and outer corner ( is that the right way?)
I bought a tinted moisturiser, but it came off with the heat straight away, so i got shiseido's advance hydro compact, that's good stuff! and got MAC's midi-mauve lipstick, it's good for everyday wear. I also got a MAC lipgloss, and a Bobbi brown lipgloss, can't remember their names, but it's good stuff, i'll post pics when i get around to it.
Don't be afraid to experiment! Try neutral colors on your eyes and lips, use bronzers and shimmer powders to brighten-up your complexion. Why do you look yellow though?
Experiment with different sleeves and necklines and get regular shalwars, straight-pants, capri's made..
KS09 i'm so glad that everyone liked your hair. As someone suggested earlier, try keeping your eyebrows groomed all the time ( trust me it makes a huge difference). Try getting a facial done every 6 weeks or so just to keep your skin in good condition. A new haircut makes a difference too. Once you turn into a diva post pics, we want to see the transformation :p
woo hoo, my hubby just bought me a new car!! It's not brand new but it's an upgrade from a 1994 festiva... 2007 Camry Grande.... def not pindu now! Just gotta get matching sunnies now!
KS09, I wear my eyeliner like you mentioned , just around the corner in the upper lid and it really gives such a fantastic look… so well done ..
another tiny trick that always works for me , might work for you too… try to get a small round pot of silver eyeshadow… I bought mine from the brand called 17 … trust me , you put silver on your eye just a tiny bit and it will give your face the brightness …so do try that when you can …
Please help me out!! I feel like I look pindu compared to other pakistani women. I'm 25 but feel like I look like my mum already. I'm an Australian-born Pakistani, wear shalwar-kameez no western clothing. I think I'm too simple. I live in a hot climate (similar to Karachi but much hotter) and can't wear good clothes, or make-up all the time. Although I just been to Pak and all my lawn suits are Gul Ahmed or Al-Karam. All my shopping I did in Liberty ( bareeze, aleeze, saleem fabrics). I only wear 2 diamond rings all the time, no earrings, necklace or any other jewellery.** I get my hair cut, it's long and layered, **
I don't know what I'm doing wrong to look like a Pindu all the time. Any tips??
P.S. I do not wear sneakers with shalwar-kameez!
Well everyone has pretty much given u great advice, but illl still chuck in my stuff as im born in aussie as well:P Welll just to tell ya i wear shalwar kameez as well i NEVER wear western clothes unless im of course going to uni. In fact i perfer kurry clothes i feel extremely uncomfortable in western clothes as im tall hence i tend to look retartly tall when i do wear western clothes.
Well the point that im tryna make is that i dont feel paindoo at all!!!I even go shopping in shalwar kameez!!! I dont wear makeup either unless im going to a social gathering. And like u said ur hair is layered well i dont even have layered hair yet i still dont feel paindoo, in fact ive had heaps of aussies complimenting me with the way i dress.Speaking of paindoo has anyone pinpointed u in the way u dress???
If not, ireckon ur extremely paranoid. You need to be confident about the way look and dont give the damn about what everyone else looks comparing to you. So my advice to u is that u dont need to change anything in the way you dress, but what u do need to change isthe way u perceive yourself. If you think its the shalwar kamiz that makes u look paindoo well thats just shows the lack of respect u have towards our culture(sorry if it sounds harsh)but i srsly reckon that shalwar kamiz is one of the most elegant and sexiest form of clothing!!!
…so do try that when you can …