Household routine - working couples

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Just curious to hear from the married folks what the division of labour is like in your households. This is mainly aimed at women who have full time jobs, because women who don’t work can easily do most of the cooking and cleaning.

I know times have changed and men do share more household duties compared to our parents generation where SOME men won’t even get up to get water.

So for couples who both work full time is it 50/50? or is that still an unrealistic expectation/dream?

I guess the way I see it is, if both husband and wife are working full time, wouldn’t it be fair if both pitched in for everything 50/50? I know in most cases, the wife still ends up doing more though…just wonder why it is still like that.

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Re: Household routine - working couples

I dont think you should think in those terms @ 50/50. Seems like some sort of business deal. One should just do what they can...and if the other one is loving enough they wont have a problem doing what is leftover.

Thats how I'd do it in my home.

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Re: Household routine - working couples

^ true that could work for some folks but not all. For example, my fiance is quite lazy, so I have this feeling that he still won't do what is left over...lol. Ahh well, I love him to pieces, so I'll figure something out.

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Re: Household routine - working couples

i wish it was 50/50 but it def is not in my home, although i do bully the hubby to get some stuff done.

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^

same here. i wish they would help without the bullying!

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It's 50-50 if you want it to be. Most women just plain feel guilty or inadequate if she sees her hubby doing some of the cooking cleaning chores.

I for one NEVER HAD THAT COMPLEX :) (THANK GOD!)

I'll chop the pyaz and he's put it in haandi. Sometimes he grills. He Vacums - I DUST. He put the luandry into the washer and dryer and I fold and put it away. Each one of us takes one child to put to bed. (He gets the easier one)

Your chores double with kids. So there is no other way.

Sometimes we do ROCK PAPER SCISSORS for whose turn it is to change the diaper :)

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Re: Household routine - working couples

^ I love your system, especially the rock, paper, scissors for the diaper thing.

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I agree with you, it can b 50/50, some women have complexes (Some MEN have a BIGGER COMPLEX about it), and I also have NEVER had that complex either!

On days I'm working, if hubby gets up first he prepares breakfast, when I get down its ready. If I get up first, then I make it ready.

Off to work. I usually come back first, then do any majorly important housework, lounge around, get food ready. If he gets back first, he gets the food ready.

Have dinner, wash up - not much to wash usually.

Vacuuming any of us do, usually he vacuums (BUT leaves the corners!) and I put things away.

When cooking for guests, he chops everything for me and we both cook it. Mostly I cook and he washes along the way so that the kitchen is not over run.

On days that I'm not working, I do most of the stuff.

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cute...love the rock paper scissor system!

The Hi/Bye Thread
The Hi/Bye Thread
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Re: Household routine - working couples

My hubby used to cook only on weekends(not every weekend but some) but these days has gotten lazy. I have to do everything. Days I work late he just grabs some food from a restaurant and brings it home. I guess I have a complex if my husband is made to do some of the housework I won't feel needed or something but I know that's not true. He is at work more than me so I feel I have to compensate by working hard at home as well. When guests come over I give him some easy tasks but he prefers to do the cooking most of the time believe it or not. He makes awesome biriyani it embarrasses me and he refuses to teach me. Maybe cuz he doesn't have time to. At first I would cook mostly for guests coming but let my husband do it once when he decided to and if he volunteers I don't back down. Its time for me to rest! yea right. I usually clean and chop the veggies. But since my husband has found a job very far away he comes home tired so I let him slide and understand why he doesn't cook anymore even if it on a weekend.

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Re: Household routine - working couples

My Husband (may Allah Ta'lah swt bless his soul) was a Doc and his working hours were tough and totally unpredictable! But typically he was working from 8am to 8pm. I would come home at around 6pm, so I would do the cooking.

But if he ever came home before me, he would do the cooking! He was like a Master Chef and so creative in the kitchen! He could cook better than me! Lol! On the weekends or if we were home together during the weekdays, we loved working together in the kitchen.

We always shared the other duties e.g. hovering etc even though I never expected him to and would tell him not too but he would always insist. I think it is really nice like this and I have such wonderful memories now.

Timepass - September 2013
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I dont get any help from my husband in doing house hold chores. Despite I am pregnant and sometimes I am just tooo tired and tooo sick to work at home. Sometimes his EGO comes in the way and most of the times brainwashing that his mom does. I wish he was helpful. The best he do is to put the washed dishes back in the cabinet and makes bed every morning . Otherwise , I have to do everything no matter how I am feeling. Before marriage he used to do iron his clothes, make tea , make breakfast for himself , warm his own food etc etc.

I sometimes wonder how will I manage things when my tummy will grow more bigger as even now I have problem in bending :(

PS : He comes homes 2 hours after I come from work.

USY KEHNA K USKI YAD ME BEHAD AZIAT HY
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Aww. Sorry to hear that! Thats not fair at all!

At least your Hubby actually walks into the kitchen and puts the dishes away! My cousin's Husband was perfect before marriage and suddenly after marriage he changed, became lazy and stopped doing all the housework! I think some men think that they've got their woman now and there is no longer any need to impress them!

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Re: Household routine - working couples

I've only been married for 3 weeks, so we haven't quite established a routine. But so far the arrangement has been I'm responsible for cooking for dinner, and packing lunches. He does the remainder of the washing up after we've eaten, I wash up as many utensils as possible as I go along.

We do all other chores on the weekend, and although it should be a fairly even split he tends to do a bit more as he's a clean freak. But I do try to ensure that if say he's loaded the machine, I hand the washing, if he vacuums I do the dusting etc. But as I say it doesn't quite work out like that.

Sometimes he's home around the same time as me, or sometimes a couple of hours before but the work split remains the same on daily basis...Me: Coooking, Him: washing up and general tidying.

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Re: Household routine - working couples

My husband is extremely organized and a neat freak. Everything of his needs to be in proper place and he detests any kind of mess, his bed is made as soon as he wakes up, even his clothes need to go on different hangers which he has for them. You will never see anything laying around after he leaves for work. Now that's fine with me as long as he doesn't expect me to do all that organizing and he actually doesn't so it works out great. Now when I visit him, Im home mostly all day and he's at work so it makes sense for me to do the chores instead of making him do them. Well actually my mil does everything but I do like to step in and cook, do the dishes because she's exhausted after work and I hate to have her stand there washing everything so late at night. And for my husband, I make his favorite stuff and do his laundry, get up early to make his breakfast and eat with him. Now post-rukhsati, I think Im pretty much gonna be doing everything because Im not gonna be working for atleast a few months. I wouldn't want him to come back all tired and then have to vacuum or do anything, I want him to be pampered. That's something I realized when I started working, I don't feel like doing anything except eating and laying down when I go back home from work, Im just so exhausted. However, things will change when I start working but I would still want to keep the chores light on his part because his career is way more demanding than mine.

Timepass - September 2013
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Re: Household routine - working couples

I was working full time for a while. I did the bulk of the work, cooking and some cleaning. My husband was unemployed at the time but didn't do anything unless I asked him to. So many days I would come home and find that everything was the same, I was so frustrated and burnt out.

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aww thats so sweet pareezay! what do you do by the way? i mean where will you be working?

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Re: Household routine - working couples

My husband is a full time medical student and he is usually either at the library or hospital. I am expected to deliver any day now and took some time off from school but I think the chores are split 50/50. He helps alot and so do I. We sort of compliment each other. But once the baby is here I don't know what the chore system will look like.