Re: Hospitality
Kaleem tum ne mera dil torr diya tha 
It’s your responsibility to welcome new members of the community 
Chalein ab acha sa pulao banayen aur PCG ko invite karein.
Yes I do understand how busy people are and all that but I’ll give you an example, where we live, when we arrived here 4 years ago, we bumped into a few families at the masjid and they invited us over rather quickly. I guess people are more comfortable family to family and ignore single folks. Dunno.
Re: Hospitality
Sara, you are not new paud.... are you?
Niksik, I wish i knew how to make palauo... .anyhow, I am in Houston and she is 4 hour drive away in Dallas... palauo wont make it.
Re: Hospitality
what is paud?
im still dangling from that bridge. :(
Re: Hospitality
Oh come back already.... paud is generation. You are cool. Now back away from that bridge slowly.
pcg, can i be your friend?
Re: Hospitality
yea
Re: Hospitality
awww. group hug 
I'm talking about single young people! I feel so awkward messaging random people on facebook. Jesus. What has my life been reduced to?
That's sad. I'm sorry.
I moved to Toronto a few years ago from a smaller town. It only took me a few months to have a huge healthy social group. Of course I was lucky enough to meet a lot of young people like me at work. Also I don't really require desi circles although. I met a lot of people through friends of friends and the sports teams I joined etc etc. More activities = more interaction with people.
I'm not sure how good MEET UP groups are because I've never been to one.
aw, PCG, i know what you are going through. I moved to a completely different city 2 years and knew nobody here at all. It was impossible to get invited to anything desi or let alone have a phone number the first few months. Finally, going to Jummah enough times I guess as people got familiar I was able to get a few phone numbers mostly from everyone except desis people. It took forever though honestly. The worst is going to a Pakistani community picnic. People will make a point not to talk you. weird.
SOOOOO true...gosh I though I was the odd one out. I moved to Toronto from a smaller city in CA, that samller city had much better sense of community and ppl used to mingle and were very very sincere (at that time) I was used to a different kind of attitude in desi/arab/overall muslim community all together, then came big old toronto, OMG, ppl just don't talk to you there I mean desi muslims, I went to mosques, tried be-friend few ppl throgh cuople ppl I knew and it was hard. I went to ISNA mosques fr jumma, eid namaz and that didn't help either.
Even when I got into some conversations, they start asking persoanl details like where do yo live, what do your parents do etc, once I tell them I live on my own, usually that followed by a long awkward silence. Once a woman came over during one of these minglings :) she asked me 'I heard you live alone, do you have your own place, I said yes thats my own condo, she goes oh then you can really have a room-mate. I was like no sorry it is only 1 bdrm + den and really no space for 2 ppl, she goes so what 2 girls can live in the same room' I mean it was nice of her to show concern but please don't choke me with your ideas. I envy ppl who find othger ppl they can have good converstaion and time with. I lived in toronto for about 10 years, and made few friends, through work, and other activities. After a while I didn't even make any effort with desi circle because my fiance at that time moved there after couple of years, 2 of my cousins moved there, and then my cousins from north east started coming pretty much every weekend, so we used to go and explore city and around on our own without being too bothered about desi commuinty etc.
May be thats what you need to do PCG...
Re: Hospitality
Except if I want to find a husband in the desi community, I kind of do need to mingle with the desi crowd.
Making friends outside the desi crowd is absolutely no problem. People are plenty friendly.
dekha pcg,
eesy hi preshan mat hua karo
lol didn't know Toronto had such a bad rep...I moved to Winnipeg from Toronto. PCG, Is there a lot of Pakistani people there? if so, there might be pakistani single people events that you can attend? They have these in Toronto often.I know a few people who've found their soul mates that way.
on another note, I have noticed once you somehow manage to get a few phone numbers and make your way into the circle...people will be a lot friendlier..it's hard getting those first few numbers and then you should be good to go.
PCG, the desi community will not mingle with you unless you are a family unit, being single will not get you in the 'social circle'.
So what you need to do is call your parents for the weekends where you go with them to the masjid or visit your local 'desi store' for community info.
It might be a problem if your parents live far away though.
MSA's are all college kids. I'm too old for it, and feel out of place. They're like 5-8 years younger than me.
Project downtown - mostly filled by kids from MSA's. Same thing with other charities and youth groups.
I'm not sure where folks in the post-grad age group fall, honestly. I know a lot of people my age are married, but there are a lot of single people out there too. And I'm not discriminating at this point - I'd just like to meet people outside of work who do different things, you know?
What about joing a group like "Your DIL", they seem to have many chapters across the US, and perhaps even in your city. It a non-profit and they seem to hold a ton of events etc. Join if you like the cause, it will be something to do, and in the process of it you can make connections/friends who knows.
Re: Hospitality
[quote]
Niksik, I was going to suggest that she should go visit a mosque...but someone already suggested that. Some of the information she is looking for is available online as well. Other than that, I have been married for 15 years, have three kids and do not have time to make new friends and waste energy mingling with the "new paud".
PCG, why are you paranoid. I have nothing against you.
[/quote]
And you meeting with a 20 something desi girl will more than just creepy!!
Except if I want to find a husband in the desi community, I kind of do need to mingle with the desi crowd.
Making friends outside the desi crowd is absolutely no problem. People are plenty friendly.
On a serious note though, why restrict yourself to the desi community? It's hard enough finding a good match as it is. Keep yourself open to the muslim community in general (arab, turkish, indian, converts etc)....who knows who you may run into or connect with.
Re: Hospitality
Desi families largely interact (or at least start interacting) though family gatherings while youth end up creating a circle within, most of the desi fun revolve around families or friends they have made over time not because they were out looking for them but because those friends were X-co-worker or X-class-fellow etc etc. You need help of your parents to break-in.
Having said that, you can still find good friends if you start going to mosque/Islamic center regularly. Its just the way circle grows in Pakistani culture and there is NOTHING wrong about it. Facebook is just not right place to look for desi-circles
Re: Hospitality
I am kind of scared for my future now. :(
Really, I don't get why it is so hard to break into any desi social circle. It's like next to impossible to really meet people and make friends. Now watch me come back after the local desi mela here for ind day and gripe about how I got cold shoulders when I tried talking to people.
Desis have such cliques and they don't really want to expand them. But then I really feel sorry, looking back on it, for any desi families who were new in town back where I grew up. ** I bet it took them a couple of years just to find a social circle, and in the process met many who gave them the cold shoulder.**
Sheesh.
:(
Maybe the people around me are different from the ones you seem to be around, but I have personally seen quite the opposite. Newcomers, both individuals and families, don't have any problem fitting in if they put any kind of effort into it. I know this because I've seen quite a number of newcomers over the past few years.